Yes, Old Beaner turned another page in her life, and can now legally buy liquor in the US. Remember when that was a big deal? For me it really was. After I turned twenty one, I went to an Amway conference in Philadelphia. I thought I was going to be the King shit of turd island, what with me legally being able to buy the booze.

I was so wrong. It turns out the bartender at the hotel we stayed at didn’t give two shits about how old we were. So much for me being the big man on that trip. I just stayed the same loser I’d always been. Amway rocks!

I’m rambling, so let’s go back to Princess Beaner and her wonderful party.

I was home for the first while, because I had been called into work for a few hours, then I stopped to visit a friend who had helped me through some hard times, while she was recovering from surgery in the hospital. By the time I got home, my beautiful bride was ready to go to the party. I decided to wait for gadget to pick me up at a later time, because I was filthy, lazy, and really needed to relax a little.

As I was patiently awaiting his arrival, I started receiving texts from my lady, and because I’m a visual person, I will try to send some visuals to you. I am putting the actual quotes in below the pics. These are what I said out loud as I got them. I don’t know why I was yelling out British sayings in a Cockney accent, but sometimes I do weird things.

Quit laughing, it’s not as if you’ve never done shit like that.


Mrs.B : Hi 🙂

Ello ello!

Wot’s this?

Me : What’s shaking? Are you getting pictures for the blog yet? (Keep in mind that this is texting, and the photos didn’t start coming in until way later. I guess because they were huge files.)

Bob’s your uncle!

Ello, Guvnah!

Mrs. B : The Cleavage Game

Pip pip

Mrs. B : Guess that pair!

Me : I don’t understand.

Top o’ the mornin’ to ya.

Mrs. B : Guess that cleavage 🙂

What the fuck?

Me : I don’t see any.

Mrs. B : I just sent you pix of 7 cleavages!

Me : Nope. Didn’t get em.

It was now that the glorious photos started to drop into their respective places.

Me : I got yours.

Now Beaner’s.

I think Penny.

Mrs. B : You have one right so far.

Me : I give up.

Mrs. B : Okay 🙂

Me : They keep popping up sporadically.

Who’s butt Cleave? Beaner?

Mrs. B : That’s ________ 🙂

(I blanked out the name for legal and moral reasons)

Me : You guys are fucked.


I then went to the party with Gadget. We were hoping that there was going to be boob flashing, and ladies kissing each other, but to no avail. As we were sadly disappointed, we at all of the appetizers (Gadget stole the last four bacon-wrapped water chestnuts, because he’s a dirty scumbag), and then we went to the fire and burned lots of Stanley’s winter firewood.

All in all, it was a great celebration of our friends birthday, and maybe next year we will get to see some girl on girl action.

Well they come in twos, hard to choose, your favorite tit, uh huh,


14 thoughts on “WWJBD?

  1. Chris:
    Well, as I am attending a bachelorette party this Friday, I will keep Mrs. B’s game in mind…. LOL
    Guess its a good thing that I don’t have your cell #!!! Not that I could contend with some of those tatas!! They call for some motor boating! But, pretty sure I guessed them all….. Except the butt crack!!

  2. Pingback: Bring On The Fall – Part 2

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