What Your Kids Are Sharing On Facebook; or, Zuckerberg, You Should Be Ashamed Of Yourself!


Now, I don’t allow anyone that’s under seventeen on my real Facebook profile. Those of you that are on it will understand why. Now I do have a family-friendly account that I made for the kids, because they kept trying to add me, but I always refused their friend requests. It turned out that a lot of adults couldn’t get enough of the Birdman either, because people there was friends on my real account that started adding my kids profile when they saw it. Maybe they were looking for a toned down version of me that rarely posts and never changes his photos. Whatever the reason, that account now has way more adults than kids.

Adults that sometimes have risque status updates. As long as I don’t like or comment on them, then no children on my Facebook should be able to see them, right? Right.

My feed is usually blocked up with stupid shit like this:

Yeah, I don't know why kidsadults feel the need to constantly answer these.

Yeah, I don’t know why kidsadults feel the need to constantly answer these. I love that handsome devil.

Stupid? Yes, but in their defence, they are kids. They don’t want their friends to think that they like the devil, no matter how cool he looks. I really don’t blame them for that, but they need to understand that these pages are pointless, but not always harmless. They could be data, like, or share mining and selling the page to a business when they get the like count up to a certain number. I see these every damn day, and I’d never given them much more than an eye roll with an occasional muttering of “idiots”, under my breath.

That was until today.

Today I was sort of shocked to see this in my newsfeed.

Yes, I opened it up so you could read it.

I opened it up so you could read it. Good for you, Janice Martin. Give them what for!

Notice the name of the page? Here’s what their cover and all that look like.

Seems harmless enough. Right?

Seems harmless enough. Right?

This is so wrong that it makes me want to punch Zuck in the baby maker, just to make him hurt for allowing this to happen. You know I’m for free speech, and I am the first one to defend people who swear and act foolish on the internets, but is lurid incest really the proper bait for a teen Facebook page? Come on, FB, you know damn well that the innocent looking girl in the profile pic isn’t the one who’s writing about an eighteen year old boy kissing his five year old sister’s booboo. It’s some fucking mental case who’s trying to lure these kids in with semi-harmless pics of Jesus and cancer survivors, but then adding in shit about a daughter wanting to suck her dad’s dick.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

These kids don’t even read the descriptions. They are too busy proving that Selena Gomez is better than a malignant tumor on your back to actually read anything, and this made me check out the next page I came to.

For teens AND kids. Seems legit.

For teens AND kids. Seems legit.

First of all; you aren’t allowed to be on Facebook if you are under thirteen, so in reality there shouldn’t be a /Kids in there. Second of all; there shouldn’t be something like this

Oh, Woody. You're quite a little rascal.

Oh, Woody, you little rascal. You make sure Andy returns the favour.

on a website that is labelled for teens and kids. I have parental controls set on mine, so people under seventeen can’t go on it, but I know they do. It’s because they, or their parents lied about their age when they were nine, so they could get on Facebook, because all their friends have it. This means that when they are thirteen, they are able to see things on adult rated pages like mine.

This was a pretty mild one, but it looked like something I have, or would put on my page. I think it’s funny, but the comments were pretty raunchy, especially seeing as an eleven year old was the one who shared it.

I’m sure this girl didn’t understand the blowjob joke, but she still shared it. I imagine she shared it because she just saw the characters from Toy Story, but it doesn’t matter. It should never have been on a kid’s page in the first place. They don’t have the sense to actually look at things and make sure they are on the up and up. Jesus, half of the adults I know are sharing that kind of shit daily. How can we expect their kids to be any different?

This is where Facebook should be taking responsibility. If you are going to have a kids section of Facebook, then you should make it so that adult content isn’t getting in there. Hire a couple of Pentecostals to make sure there is no funny business going on in the kids section, and if you see a profile with Wizards Of Waverly Place photos all over the place, but it says that they are 43, then you might want to look into that. It is most likely a freak with a Selena Gomez fantasy, but it just might be a nine year old girl who is about to stumble upon this:

Who's the lucky boy? Actually, I suppose it's all of them.

Who’s the lucky boy? Actually, I suppose it’s all of them.

Educate your kids, and while you’re at it, let them know that they should delete all of those like mining pages, just because they don’t want to get in that habit for too long. I don’t know if you’re aware, but when they do it as an adult, they will be judged.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me,


2 thoughts on “What Your Kids Are Sharing On Facebook; or, Zuckerberg, You Should Be Ashamed Of Yourself!

  1. How sad that most parents don’t take the time to actually, well, PARENT. This is a great post and I hope it helps to open some people’s eyes.

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