What your Girlfriend really does when Home Alone (Guest Post)

Sponsored Post by Donna Peak

Sex toys are no secret. Chances are you have a few stashed away for foreplay. If you have a drawer full, I will honestly tell you what your girlfriend does with them when you’re not home – before I begin however I will recall what you do with the sex toys first…

Guys are so eager, they see a vagina and they think we want it stuffed full with thigh-slapping motions. They think we don’t want just 1 finger, we want as many as you can stuff into the hole all while wiggling and twisting your knuckles. Because we know you’re trying so hard, our reaction is always the same “ooh baby. Oh yea”

Then the sex toys come out and at least it’s a nice change – and we’ll finally get something that feels good – until the man gets hold of it again. Take the g-spot vibrator, they shove it up to the hilt and wiggle it asking us how does that feel. Yes, it does feel good but vibrations around my fallopian tubes gets kind of annoying after awhile. Then I move your hand outward a little guiding him to the real spot. Pssst: The g-spot is only 2-3 inches inside, not behind the belly button you fools!

OK that was tolerable. Now it’s time for the rabbit vibrator. You thrust it in and out, repeatedly hitting the rabbit head over the clitoris in a sloppy motion. Honestly, do you think that feels good? So again I guide the hand to hold the vibrator there with minimal motion. Guys aren’t interested in “stick it-and click-it” play so eventually the thrusting motion resumes. Enter fake orgasm number 1. OK now I just want sex, so then we do it and I hold the bullet vibrator over my clitoris and cum at the same time as you. I have a powerful bullet so that I can orgasm in less than a minute, just like you. Taking my pleasure into my own hands I finally feel good.

Why did I just submit myself to this torture and let you do all the handling in the first place? It’s like a little kid at Christmas. You would never give a 5 year old a present and then take it away from him right away would you? That’s cruel. It’s the admiring lucky look on the man’s face that makes women bend over and take it, it’s our self-sacrificing personalities and we just want to make you happy. Aaaawww! Speaking of gifts, here’s another secret, if you buy us one of these for Valentine’s day: http://www.theadulttoyshop.com/dildos we won’t be able to say no. A mere double the price of a box of chocolates, it will offer you immeasurable fun nights. You tried hard and we don’t want to see you disappointed so off the panties go! What are you waiting for?

Huh? I thought they were real orgasms.

Now when we’re alone, this is what happens with our stash of sex toys: We grab the g-spot vibrator, insert it 3 inches and very mildly sway it side to side, about a 5 degree sway. The g-spot orgasm takes about thirty seconds. Sometimes we rub our clitoris because it tingles when the g-spot is properly massaged. OK that felt nice, I’m super relaxed now. Aaahhhh. Now I grab the rabbit vibrator and insert it, letting the head rest on the clitoris. Turn it on and don’t move it at all. I just hold it there. It might look boring from a man’s point of view but in reality, that’s what women like. This orgasm occurs in about 1 minute also.

The point I’m trying to make is do your girlfriends a favor, stop being so eager all the time. Be more relaxed with the g-spot and clitoris treat it swiftly and steadily, none of this stupid slapping. The only girls who like that are the ones on camera getting paid. If my story made you horny, treat your girl to a discreet delivery from http://www.theadulttoyshop.com/vibrators To get the right vibe, stick with the g-spot and the rabbits and you’ll be alright. The exact model doesn’t really matter, honestly I can tell you any vibrator is a good vibrator but it’s up to you to remember how to use it.

You need lube too, never try to stuff a dry vibrator, that pulls the skin and pretty much kills the mood right there. I mentioned this at the bottom because it’s a truly amateur mistake and I’m assuming you men are intelligent enough to know to wet it up first but if not – now you know. You’re welcome guys.

“Donna Peak is an accomplished author who approaches adult topics with a sense of humor with the final goal of educating adults on proper sex techniques for a better sex life.”

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