Ummmmm, I Have Some People To Thank

Holy shit, I am on the verge of tears, and have been for the last 20 minutes.

It started when I was scrolling down to proofread the blog, as I am wont to do, and I saw this on the right hand side:


Yeah, I know.

So much for the job search was my very first foray into blogging. It was actually the first blog post that I had ever knowingly read as well. I’m sure that some of those articles that got shared around Facebook that I glanced at were technically blogs, but as for a look into someone else’s day to day life, I was unaware that it even really existed.

I’m going to insert random pics from over the past year. No set order, just ones I like.

Cleave tries to put one (or two) over on Otis, but he has the ability to sense when there are tits close by. Nice try Cleave.

My then fiance told me that I should write something, because we had written so many emails back and forth, and they were probably the most brilliant works of art to ever grace the RIM email servers. (I wish I could figure out how to get them and copy them to the computer from the backup files, but I’m not too savvy about that stuff anymore.)

I said that I didn’t have the concentration to write a book, and she suggested that I write a blog. I had heard of weblogs before, but had never read one, or knew of anyone who had read one.

Nice gang sign, Kramer. The only time he’s been near a gang, is when he got raped by a bunch of frat boys at a kegger.

“Who would want to read the shit that I write?” I asked, hoping she would say that the entire population of North America, minus a small percentage of Quebec and Mexico would eagerly await my every post.

I knew within a few months that it wasn’t the way it was going to work, and I actually thought I wasn’t a very good blogger, because I wasn’t getting 10000 page views a day. I know, I was naive. I just thought that the 60 people that read my blog, should easily get 100 of their friends to read it, and so on, until most of Canada and the US would be sharing my unorthodox scribblings to all of their friends abroad. I honestly thought I was that funny and awesome.

Our hosts were terribly happy

I then went through a period of not so silently chastising everyone for not sharing every amazing post that I wrote. I’m still a little ashamed of myself for that as I look back, I really hope that you will forgive me for it. It was just delusions of grandeur and pride that had me blinded by the truth.

Look at how shimmery that shit is

Ah yes, the truth. The sad, sad truth. It has taken me quite a while to come to the realization that I’m really just a mediocre blogger. The awesome thing about me is that I’m okay with it. I had to work through a lot of these feelings without knowing that I was, because I’ve never had to before. The reason for that is that I’ve never loved what I was doing enough to give a shit if I was good at it or not. I’m just an average guy, with above average dreams, and a below average ambition.

Sure I want to be a famous writer, but I’m never going to get there by blogging. Blogging is just what I love to do, and I realize that I’m not going to be a sensation overnight. It’s going to take a long time of honing, polishing, and performing oral sex on various website honchos. (I’m talking about you, Anissa ;)) In order for me to succeed at this, I’m going to have to write something. Something tangible. Something amazing.

Yayyyyyyy, we are alive

I seriously have a hundred ideas in my head at any given time, TV show ideas, movie ideas, book ideas,  but because I’m shiftless and easily distracted, they remain as such. They just never become a reality. That’s why I love blogging so much. You have an idea and you write about it. My number is 1000 words, but you can choose the number that’s right for you.

This is just before we Godzillad the playset

I love to write, but my mind moves too fast to be able to string together, so until I figure out a way to harness it, I will keep on blogging. Like I said, I need to polish my style, and I need to be humble while I do it. I need to understand that there are people that have been with me since the start, and even if it was just Rachel, I would still be doing this. I would be able to personalize the posts more, but I would still write something at any given chance.

Sorry, dude. They don’t make ties that long.

I mentioned earlier that I’ve been ready to cry for a while. The thing that set me off was when I wrote on Facebook about blogging for one year, and seconds later the red notification popped up. “Rob Swan likes this”. I started to smile, because I started to think about how Rob has been reading and supporting the blog since the start. That got me choked up, and then this popped up:

Rob Swan congrats buddy
12 hours ago via mobile · Unlike · 1
That’s all. That’s really all it took. Rob finds my writing interesting enough to read it for a year. A whole fucking year. That’s huge. I’ve estimated that year to contain about 250000 words, not including the comments. That’s about enough for three novels. I’m not saying he read every one, but I know that he read a lot of them. I don’t know if even Mrs B has read every single post. I think she has, but lots of times the notifications aren’t working, and she might have missed one. Either way, the fact that somebody would give two shits about what I have to say is humbling to say the least. Mrs. B put it in a way that I’ll try to remember…actually, I’ll go in and ask her… Yeah, she said that to have people interested enough in your hobby to check in every day to see how it’s coming along, it means that you are doing a good job at it. When I look at it that way, I can’t help but smile. I know that I have a long way to go, but it’s nice to think that I’m on the right track.

Last summer. Mom smiles more when it’s not me taking the photo

That brings me to the thanking part of this post. I mostly need to thank my wife, partner, and soul-twin, Mrs. B. She really is my everything, and the reason I’m able to keep going.
I also have to thank every one of my friends that have ever given me a cause to write, posed for (sometimes) ridiculous photos, or helped me arrange anything. I can’t name you all, but I know that you know who you are. I get so much encouragement behind the scenes, that it makes my head spin, and I won’t ever forget it.

One of my favourite shots of her. So happy and beautiful

Hello to all of the commenters. I need to give you fuckers a big hug. Whether it’s on the blog, in person, Facebook, G+, or Twitter, I love and cherish every single comment. I appreciate every nod, slap on the back, or high five that I’ve ever gotten, and I want you to know that. You really make a difference in my life, and it’s always for the good.

This brings tears to my eyes every time. I fucking love those girls with every ounce of my spirit.

If you are reading this, then you need to accept my deepest gratitude, because you keep me going on. As much as I love it when you comment, I can’t expect you to. You’re busy, shy, have chlamydia, whatever. I see the stats. I know you are reading. Just because you choose to not interact on that level doesn’t bother me anymore. I’m just so happy that you read this tripe, that I don’t care if you ever tell another soul about it. (Please don’t leave me though.)
If you know someone that used to read the blog, but quit for some reason, tell them thanks. I don’t know why they don’t read my blog anymore, but I hope they are reading someone’s. I realize that not everyone is a perfect fit, but there are millions of blogs out there, and there is definitely one that matches your life. If there isn’t? Start your own. There are people that are probably searching for that shit, but aren’t brave enough to put themselves out there to get the ball rolling. Maybe that’s what you’re here for.
This blog has evolved considerably over the last year, and I can honestly say that it’s the first thing I’ve done for my future that I’m truly proud of. I’m not talking about my family, friends, or love life, but it’s like a job to me, and although I don’t get paid, I take it seriously, and when I hit that “publish” button, I get a high feeling that lasts for moments while I wonder if this might be the one that connects with everyone and goes viral. I don’t bank on it, but I tell ya, it’s pretty cool when you have 400-500 people reading something you wrote. Can you imagine 1000? 25000? 1000000? Oh Jesus, I just came in my underoos.

I don’t know if this ever made it into the blog, but it’s one of my very favourite photos of us. I hope she looks at me like that in ten years.

Would you believe in a love at first sight? Yes I’m certain that it happens all the time. What do you see when you turn out the light? I can’t tell you, but I know it’s mine,

17 thoughts on “Ummmmm, I Have Some People To Thank

  1. Even though I’m not in the 1 year club, I can honestly say that I enjoy your writing very much.
    You have an honest, raw talent that people go to school to learn how to do what you do naturally.
    You’re only 1 year old.
    You learned to crawl this last year.
    Now, you will learn to walk and run.
    You’ll find your audience and they will find you.
    The best part of it will be that you don’t have to change to get that audience.
    Keeping it real is the best thing you’ve done.
    You haven’t sold out.
    That being said, you’re still a whore.
    And I love you for it.
    I can’t wait to see what happens for you in this second year.

    • I thought you had been there from the start, but it must have been pretty close. It feels like we’ve known each other for years, but haven’t physically met, yet. YET! From the comments to the FB chats, you always know how to get my ass in gear and live my life, and while there are sometimes periods where you aren’t there, I know it’s because you are living yours. Take care of that family and yourself, and stay hungry. That’s when your fire is brightest. Cheers, buddy, and thank you.

  2. Congrats, Birdman! I’m new to you and your world here. I kind of comment a lot if I’m going to take the time out to read something…so there you have it. Love the pics of you and the Mrs. especially the awesome one at the end. If you keep her happy, she’ll keep looking at you that way! You used one of my favorite Beatles verses at to end this…My one year is in December and it’s kind of exciting!

    • Well, I love comments, almost as much as I love orgasms. I hope I can keep her happy for a very long time. If not, I hope I go senile so she feels sorry enough for me to stick it out. Kind of like The Notebook.

  3. You were my inspiration to start my blog. Because I loved reading about your life and your views on everything. I know my blog is different then yours but I figured if you could do it, so can I.

    I read everyday. Sometimes I comment, sometimes not. I try to comment on every blog though. I look forward to reading other peoples comments and the discussions that sometimes start. It opens my mind to the possibilites.

    Thank you Birdman. And thank you Mrs.Birdman, for falling in love and marrying him. You got yourself a gooder for sure.

    • Fucking right she does. 🙂 I know you read it every day, and I appreciate that and the comments. I always know that I can count on at least a “Good post” from you. Thanks for always being there, and for being you.

  4. Congratulations Birdman! I have only been reading you for a few months but enjoy all your posts. Funny, real, honest and rude. Great combination. lol! Canadian to boot (yes I am too patriotic at times). And from this post I just fell in love with you a little bit more because you quoted the Beatles at the end. In that vain let me say “and in the end, the love you take, is equal to the love you make”. Hope the next years blogging bring you as much satisfaction as the first year!
    P.S. Have you considered ritalin for that “can’t sit still” thing you got going on?! 🙂

    • Thanks Pam. I too am quite a patriot, and fell in love with you when you turned me on to that beautiful little love story. Oh, and all of the support you’ve shown, but mostly that story. I should see if I can share that on my facebook page or on the blog sometime. I cry everytime I watch it. As for the ritalin, this will answer that.

  5. Congratulations to you, Birdman! I’m glad I found your blog. I, personally, don’t think you’re a mediocre writer. Here’s to another awesome year of your posts!!

  6. Congratulations!!! One year, huh? I can tell you love what you do and I’m glad you’ve adjusted your ego, lol (something I think a lot of us must do). I love your blog for its diversity and hope to be congratulating you next year as well. I’ve hit highs and lows. I’ve had other bloggers with a massive amount of readers share me and then later drop me. Through it all, I’ve had to remind myself that I do it because I love it, not for the numbers (though those can be nice). If you remember that, you’ll be good. Keep blogging, Birdman. <3

    • Thanks, Lilly. Are you coming up here any time soon? I’d like you to talk to my lady about a threesome, because she’s shut me down too many times. Explain to her how fun it is, and also how safe and healthy it can be, even if you don’t know for sure. Oh, while you’re here, you might as well join in. I don’t want you going home empty handed. 😉 BTW, this is just my way of showing affection.

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