Therapy Thursday


Hey Birdman,
So here’s a problem. I’m in my forties (yes you’d never tell by my profile pic) and feel I have not yet found that one person who really understands me and what I’m really about. And by that, I don’t necessarily mean a man.

Yummy Mommy


Dear Yummy,

I am not sure if you are lamenting your lack of partner in general, or contemplating a change in sexual orientation to find that perfect someone.  Either way, you find yourself lacking in the one part of life that we all assume will be sorted out by now.  The funny thing is, there are lots and lots of people in the exact same situation.  Many people marry in their 20’s or 30’s thinking they have it all figured out, only to grow and change in a direction opposite of their spouse.  It soon becomes apparent that we are going to have to make major changes in our lives if we are hoping to get what we want and need.


Find yourself. Maybe don’t sit on the tracks though.

I believe the first step is truly being comfortable with being alone.  We have to really dig ourselves, and understand who we are and why we do the things we do before we can really think about merging our lives 100% with another person.

We come to a point in life where we do a little soul searching, and realize we are not really the best person we can be.  Our job is to change that.  Work on the parts of you that are great and improve them, and forgive yourself for the parts that are not great.  Over time, every insecurity, every worry and fear can be overcome with a bit of introspection and an honest desire to have a happier, more fulfilling life.

I can almost guarantee that the more you like who you are, the more you will value yourself and draw to you the kind of person (male or female) who would truly complement your life.

Work on you.  The happier and more content you are, the more genuine your smile, the more warm your presence, the more others will be drawn to you like a moth to the proverbial flame.  Good luck!

Mrs. B.


Dear Possible Rug Muncher:

Hell yeah! Let your freak flag fly, baby. You can love whoever you want to love, and I sure hope it’s another lady.

Have you already got one in mind? Does she have lazy eyes and a voice that sounds like she’s had too many filterless cigarettes? Man, I have so many questions for you.

Will you use a dental dam like them big city lesbians do, or will you just ride that mare bareback? I need to know these things, so I can properly play out the scenes of my in-brain porno.

Anyhow, everything that my wife said is true, and we are the proof. There are a ton of folks out there that would love a chance to melt into your beautiful soul, and you’ll find them. You just need to wait for the time to be right. Don’t worry, it will be right.

Go on now. Skedaddle yer britches on outta here!

John Bliss, from Andy Richter Controls The World. Great character and sad to see that he's passed.

John Bliss, from Andy Richter Controls The World. My favourite crotchety old man. I was sad to see that he’d passed.

That was my best ornery old man impression. Good? Yes? I have all kinds. I’ll show them to you sometime.

I’ve got more than one membership to more than one club and I owe my life to the people that I love,


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