Therapy Thursday


Hey Birdman!

Our local classic rock station is repetitive as fuck. My problem is that I love the personalities of it, but hate hearing Rain Showers by Michel Pagliaro every fucking day. You can almost set your  watch by Mashmakhan and Bruce Fucking Cockburn. It’s gotten to the point that I have quit listening for weeks at a time, and even then when I switch it back on, it’s like I never left. Same fucking songs, same fucking rotation.

Thicken Meaty

Dear Thicken:

What the fuck is wrong with you? Thicken Meaty? Really, man? You couldn’t have come up with a better name than that? I assume you’re a dude, because a girl wouldn’t normally care about classic rock, or call herself “Thicken Meaty”.

As for your question, I am guilty of these same thoughts, and so are most of my friends. I actually started sending emails out to see which one of them you are, but they wouldn’t tell. I am fairly certain that you are talking about my favourite station, because it fits the bill perfectly, but in case you’re not, I’ll just speak to you about The Breeze.

They have great on-air personalities. They really do. Unfortunately, there is that whole problem of the music. It’s fucking fantastic. Seriously, but only if you are just passing by on the highway.

If you live here, it’s a different story. You get to hear the same songs every day, for at least the last two years. Blinded By The Light, Rag Mama Rag, Spaceship Superstar, and Phasors On Stun come to mind.

Notice anything?

Three of the four that I mentioned, and all three of your songs that you mentioned are Canadian content or CanCon. I’m not sure what The Breeze is licensed at, but it’s probably at 35%. This means that 35% of their playlist has to be Canadian. This is the law, and I think it’s a damn good one. We should be promoting the shit out of our bands, new and old.

Now the problem I have is that stations hire consulting companies to tell them what sells ads. If you know anything about me, you know that I don’t like to manipulate people with shit that marketers tell you that they will like. Have a bit of soul and try your own thing. Hire people with vision and put them to work. You think I give two fucks about what people in Dallas, New York, or any other top ten market are listening to?

Not a chance. You’ll sell me when you start mixing some different tunes in, and gauging your audience’s interest by way of suggestion notes at a remote, or on the several social media avenues that are available. Let the jocks throw some local shit in there, and maybe a tune or two that they personally love. Where has the personality of radio gone? Now I have to wait until 7:40 or 8:40 to get my personality fix, because I can’t always sift through twenty minutes of the same old shit to catch two minutes of Jay and Meg. It’s sad, but it’s true.

As for the CanCon thing, I know of so many great Canadian songs that I would love to hear every once in awhile, but I have to go to Youtube or my music library to hear them, because they never get played.

Take these guys for instance. They are The Gentlemen Husbands They’re good enough to open for the Hip at the CCC, but I’ve never once heard them on our local radio station. They are from Cobourg and have a sound that goes quite well with the classic rock genre. It goes a hell of a lot better than Hootie And The Blowfish. We should be promoting bands like this, and several others, but we don’t. We let the radio stations tell us what to listen to, whether we want it or not.

What do you do though? You have a choice here. You can switch to another station and listen to their brand of repetitive shit, or you can call your station and tell them what you want to hear, and what you don’t. When you see York or The Hansonator at a remote down by the beach, talk to them and tell them what you like, just don’t be a dick about it. They’re good guys, and maybe they can’t play the tunes you want, but if enough people want to hear something, they may just tell their boss about it. Right?

I started to think about the dozen friends that could have wrote this letter, myself included, and I wondered how many have brought up their concerns to someone at the radio station that they are so mad at. I have, but in a negative way. I was just telling them what I didn’t like. I should have given more suggestions, like I did with these videos. These are great tunes, and I’d love to hear them once a week or so. I also could come up with a whole lot more, but I’ll wait til I’m asked.

Hint hint.


P.S. Don’t bother them if they’re talking on the radio. You’ll be interrupting, and that shit’s not cool.

One thought on “Therapy Thursday

  1. I’ve spent the past month earning my hipster cred highlighting artists like Broken Bells, the Gaslight Anthem, and Brother Ali, so now I go back to my high school days. I grew up in Des Moines, Iowa and before MTV, there was basically pop music and album rock. The station every male I know listened to was KGGO and it basically played classic rock plus a lot of Huey Lewis and Bryan Adams. Since this site is about hopefully turning people on to some music they’ve never heard, I thought I would offer up how my own version of Doctor Johnny Fever playlist. Today is my first 10, which are focused on songs that have been played on the radio, but not overplayed.

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