Apr 03

I’m A Little Behind


I have all of these things to write about, but no time to write them. I guess I need to first tell you that Float Your Fanny is next weekend and we just realized that we need to redesign and rebuild the raft. No big deal, except that Gadget and I only have Friday to do it. I guess we should have looked at the depth of the river before committing to a 600+ pound raft. Oh well, we are going to have one sweet floating island for this summer, and a sleek, shallow water vessel for being river pirates. Those Somalis ain’t got nothing on us.

So far we have received $50 from Gadget and my mom to put towards the raft, but that won’t even cover the cost of building it, let alone the $70 it will cost to enter us all in it. Actually, Mom’s was to sponsor the girl’s Great Strides walk, but we have priorities you know.

This looks pretty good, huh? Too bad we can't use it. :(

This looks pretty good, huh? Too bad we can’t use it. ­čÖü

I know that you don’t have any money, but I know that you still want to help, so I’ve put in a little button here for you to click on. It will take you to the magical land of Paypalia, where you can send monetary units via your email address or credit cards or something. I actually don’t know where it comes from, but I know that when my wallet is empty I can still buy stuff on ebay. I hope the girls like powdered eggs and milk. Continue reading

Mar 29

Fox Friday – Parental Guidance


You know what? Fuck you, Fox. Why’d you have to make me get all weepy with this feel-good comedy about grandparents struggling to be a relevant part of their grandkid’s lives? I’m just kidding. I like getting all nostalgic and emotional. It’s cleanses my essence, and we all know how dirty that is.

Put a comment in here and win this movie. Maybe. If you're the only comment you will.

Put a comment on this post and win this movie. Maybe. If you’re the only comment you will.

Now I’m going to do something I’ve never done. I’m going to tell you that this was a very heartwarming flick, and that I really did enjoy watching it. I’m also going to leave it at that and copy some of the press release in here to tell you about the movie, and urge you to watch it. Especially if you are one of my generation. You know, with parents who got pregnant in their early 20’s or late teens, and just raised you as best they could with what they had. No baby monitors, Google, or car seats for that matter. Just instinct, homemade wine, and guts. By guts I mean threatening and sometimes having to follow through when you call their bluff. Continue reading

Mar 27

Fox Friday On A Wednesday – Lego Star Wars – The Empire Strikes Out (and giveaway)

[easyazon_image align=”none” height=”448″ identifier=”B00C1LG1CC” locale=”US” src=”https://changethetopic.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/51fJoSF1myL.jpg” tag=”granligh-20″ width=”333″]


I was surprised and a little relieved to find two movies from Fox on the doorstep this week. I figured after my review of 30 Nights Of Paranormal Activity With The Devil Inside The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, that they would never let me watch, let alone review another film of theirs. I was wrong. When Crystal said that they wanted honest reviews, I guess she wasn’t lying.

This will go to a random commenter. If nobody comments, then I guess it stays with meeeeee!

This will go to a random commenter. If nobody comments, then I guess it stays with me! Oh, there’s a DVD in there too.

Luckily for me, I don’t need to find out how many pans I’m allowed before I get cut off. Well not yet, anyhow. This little short was gratifying to say the least. I really got a kick out of it and watched it twice, because I wanted to make sure I caught the whole thing. All 22 minutes of it. Continue reading

Feb 26

The Best For Last (Part One)


When Mrs. B wanted to do a photography workshop in California┬áwe decided to both go and use it as our vacation, because we have very good friends in Phoenix that we rarely get to see, and it was only a few hours away. This was really appealing to me, because that’s the kind of vacation I like. I was also very excited to see my friends Krista and Adam, and of course, the beautiful, talented Ruby Rideout and her handsome, new husband.

I remember when Krista told me she was moving to Arizona. I was pretty sad. I knew that she hated the yucky, cold winters, and she didn’t hide the fact that she wasn’t sticking around Cobourg, but I thought it was just something that people say, and never follow through with. She told me she had met a boy and he was awesome, good looking, funny blah blah blah. I was immediately wary of this bastard.

I mean, here was this pretty, sweet, naive girl from Nowhere, Ontario, and some slick talking, Yankee con man was going to promise her the world, then leave her to fend for herself. I already knew this guy in my mind. I’d seen his type before, and didn’t want my friend to get hurt. I, of course, voiced my opinion about how she doesn’t really know the guy and she should find a man closer to home, like Peterborough, but she paid me no heed.

Why would anyone leave?

Why would anyone want to leave?

She was actually my second real kiss, at a Y dance in grade eight, and it was awful, so that’s pretty much where the romance┬áended. I really had no idea what I was doing, because my first kiss was even worse, and no one ever thought to correct me. (Thanks, Andrea) I think we might have held hands once or twice after that, but I’m not too sure. I was pretty embarrassed.

So we stayed friends. Why wouldn’t we? She’s an amazing person with a great sense of humour, and that’s generally what I look for in a compadre, so it seems like a no-brainer to me. I also figured that if I was nice to her, she wouldn’t tell everyone that I move my head weird and keep my mouth open when I’m “necking”.

I’d talk to Krista the odd time when she was down there, and it always seemed crazy. One time it was 110┬║F and she was driving a car with a broken air conditioner. She was just trying to keep moving so she wouldn’t die. Another time was when she was working at some ghost town attraction full of Japanese tourists, as a saloon whore*. I thought, She must really love this guy. That sounds like the the third ring of hell. She should just come home where it’s safe.┬á

She never did.

*She was just a pretend whore. You know, just for show.

I did, however, get down there a couple of times when I was trucking, and got a hold of Krista to say I would be going through Phoenix. She asked if I could stay for a while, and I called my boss. I was able to get a couple of days off for a visit, so I danced about merrily.

Now, I already had a pre-conceived┬áimage of what Adam was going to be like, and I was partly right. He was a pretty slick talker, but I quickly realised that it’s just how he talks. He wasn’t trying to sell me anything or prove something to me, he was just a fantastic guy that loved and adored my friend, and he was hustling his ass to make a better life for them. You can’t blame a fella for that, can you? I didn’t think so.

I remember the second time I was there. Adam gave me a couple of these really neat bells that he had just started selling. He was putting them together in the spare bedroom. I thought they were cool, and took them to give to my friends, Ted and Linda. They loved them and still have them after all these years.


My baby made this up. She’s more than just a pretty face.

At first, he was having them made at a foundry and assembling them at home while going to school to be a physical therapist. He had five original styles and would go to bike rallies and shops on the weekends to try and sell his bells and supplement their income.

The bells were a big hit, and now he has built his own foundry, employs a few full time people, including a mold maker extraordinaire, and is shipping bells out daily. He has also created over 150 different bell designs, pins, sunglasses holders, and zipper pulls, along with the custom work.

That’s right, you can get bells made for your company, organization, sex addicts anonymous group, or whatever. I’m really thinking about getting some CTT bells done up, if we ever turn a profit*. All of that, plus he has distributors all over the world now.

*Send your money to me.

Wow, someone that’s helping to sustain the economy with American-made products that put smiles on people’s faces. I looked for a downside to it, but other than a relatively┬áminuscule┬ábit of pollution from the mining process, there really isn’t one. They are a well-made product that injects money into the US economy. Not China. Not India. America. I’d be pretty proud of myself if I were him, because you guys know how I feel about keeping the money at home.

This one's for Seth. Be proud, brother.

This one’s for Seth. Be proud, brother.

Don’t think I’ve forgotten about Krista. She received her stock broker license, her Realtor license and pumped out a couple of beautiful, smart, and charming daughters. Her and Adam (who is also a licensed Realtor) have built up a successful real estate business and have bought and fixed up a few rental units that they maintain. If that’s not the definition of hard work and ingenuity paying off, I don’t know what is.

I have to tell you that it is one of my greatest joys to see people reap what they sow. Especially when it’s friends that have risked everything, and have been rewarded for it. No handouts, no silver spoons, just working your ass off and building your life from the ground up. That’s my definition of capitalism. Everyone wins. Even you.

Oh yeah. Adam and I worked out a deal, and he said I could give out some bells.

Look up in the top right corner of the blog and you’ll see the Slim Dyson banner is gone, and the new Guardian┬« Bell banner is up. Click on it, and go pick out the bell you want, because you could win it in the first post of every month. We are going to pick a random commenter* and they will get the bell of their choice sent out to them for free. You should also like their Facebook page, because they sometimes have specials, and you will get to see when they release new designs.

Alright. Go now. Check the stuff out. There is something for everyone. Get your freaky uncle the Prince Albert.

This is in the Sick and Twisted section. I know most of you will go there first.

It’s in the Sick and Twisted section. Most of you will go there first.


Jan 11

Fox Friday – 30 Nights Of Paranormal Activity With The Devil Inside The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo

[easyazon_image align=”center” cart=”n” cloak=”y” height=”500″ identifier=”B00B19CM6E” locale=”US” localize=”y” nw=”y” nf=”y” src=”https://changethetopic.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/51zkUyElPaL-1.jpg” tag=”granligh-20″ width=”375″]

Yep. I watched and reviewed this movie. First, if you haven’t watched the movie, check out the trailer.

It doesn’t look horrible, right? Maybe a bit dumb, but all of those parody movies look foolish to the average person.

I loved all of the [easyazon_link identifier=”B008MXMFVE” locale=”US” nw=”y” nf=”y” tag=”granligh-20″ cart=”n” cloak=”y” localize=”y” popups=”y”]Scary Movies that I have seen, which were 1,2, and 3[/easyazon_link], but I understand that to a lot of people they are asinine and idiotic. Sometimes I just want to veg out and watch some mindless, over the top humour.

Well, mindless and over the top, this might have been. Humourous, not at all. If it wasn’t so filthy, kids might have liked it, because they aren’t evolved enough to see past the failed attempts at potty talk, and brief appearances of celebrity lookalikes. Continue reading