Oh, my dukes were born up, pal

First of all, I have ideas; ideas that need to be heard and not dismissed immediately. Here is one of my ideas… Call and invite the people that live far away. If they want to come, they can come, and we’d be ecstatic to have them, but I don’t expect anyone to travel thousands of miles to watch me get married. I’m kinda debating whether I even want to drive the seventeen clicks from home to the barn that we’re getting married at. Mrs. B mentioned something about seeing the wedding via Facebook, and I’m still exploring that option.

Who am I kidding? I can’t wait to marry her. One reason is that she’s an incredible, exciting, sweet ball of goodness, that constantly amazes me with her continually evolving love. I guess another reason is I will never have to look at this guest list again. Fuck me, this is the worst thing in the world to have to do, especially when you’re exhausted. There are so many people that I want to invite, but as she mentioned yesterday, I have a huge family. The other shitty part is that I really like them, and would love for them all to come, but most of them live quite far away. This brings me to the original idea I had:

1. Unofficially invite them, and see if they can make it.

2. Hope that they can, but completely understand if they can’t.

3. If they decline, someone else gets an invite.

It's worth the trip. We have a great band and DJ.

Seriously, I then get to maximize the guest potential, because I’m not sending out 40 of our invites to people who can’t make it, for one reason or another, when there are lots of people who can make it. Why shouldn’t I do some recon work, to find out who can endure the trek? For example: I have a cousin in Kelowna that is 95% sure she will make it. Definitely worth sending a couple of invites to, but I have two cousins in Yellowknife that are a slim chance of getting the time for that kind of a trip; I’m maybe not going to waste an invite on a slim chance. Oh wait, but what if they all of a sudden are able to make it? I can’t not ask them to come at the last minute, can I? That’s why we have the ten person buffer isn’t it? I have this dirty, ginger, hillbilly miner cousin, that’s somewhere near Sparwood, BC. I’d love it if he could make it, because he’s awesome, and pretty fucking hilarious, but there’s not much chance of him being off at the same time, so I think he should be in the buffer as well. His brother lives in Singapore, I think, and I haven’t heard back from him, so I think it’s safe to say that he probably isn’t going to make it, but who really knows? I’d love it if my uncle from Jasper could make it, but it’s kind of hard to expect that someone should incur that much cost, just to see some asshole get hitched. (to me hee hee)

My point is that while I can’t expect people to show up, but if somehow at the last minute they are willing to travel a million kilometres to watch the most beautiful display of love since Noah and Allie in The Notebook, I can’t not let them come.

If you're a Bird, I'm a Bird... (haha...get it?)

Another thing is all of the people that tell me they had better get an invite. If someone wants to go so bad that they are willing to demand an invitation, don’t I have to oblige them??? No, no I fucking well don’t. I find it completely rude and presumptuous. I was maybe going to invite you before, but that just opened up a seat for someone else. Oh, your wife/husband can still come, but they had better find a hot new date (my cousin just got out of jail, and is single), because it won’t be you, asshole. I understand that some might say it jokingly (Gadget), but there are some who are serious when they say it. Not cool at all. If you didn’t give birth to me, or are related to someone who gave birth to me, there are no guarantees. I really would love to have everyone I’ve ever known to the dance, but due to the occupancy limits of the aforementioned barn, that would be impossible. I think I’m going to have to leave it to a third party to do my invites, because I don’t have a clue what protocols there are, and I apparently can’t invite everyone.

This is almost exactly what I picture our wedding will look like

Oh, and yet another point I’d like to make is this: I want to invite a couple that I’ve become quite close with, and would love to have them celebrate our love with us, but because of conflict with other family members, am advised against it. Shouldn’t I have the choice to invite people I want to be at my wedding? Shouldn’t people understand that it’s a big place, and I’m not going to seat people who don’t get along right next to each other? What’s the protocol there? I think that both parties should be invited, and if one chooses to be childish, and not show up, so be it. Am I putting my lovely bride in an awkward position (not yoga), or can I let the onus fall on my massive shoulders? Seriously, I think that as adults, we need to set aside our differences for the sake of true love.

Which leads me to probably my final point. A really close friend has a significant other that I personally can’t stomach. The sight of this person raises my blood pressure to the boiling point, but we love the friend very much. Do we invite the piece of dogshit,with instructions that they are not to make eye contact, drink, or speak with anyone, to keep the friend happy, or try to diplomatically tell the friend to bring a different date? I feel that it’s our wedding, and we shouldn’t have undue stress on that amazing day, but also that our friend didn’t do anything (other than poorly choose a mate), so why should they have to pay for that? I don’t know how the vote should shift, but in the end I think that it’s our day, and even though it may cause grief later in life, we should try to keep it as fun as possible. I guess we’ll see how it turns out.

Anyhow, we are hoping to have a videographer at the wedding, so maybe we’ll be able to put up installments on the blog. That way you all can share in our joy, no matter where you live.

Gone away is the blue Bird, here to stay is the new Bird, he sings a love song as we go along,



2 thoughts on “Oh, my dukes were born up, pal

  1. I have had the same thoughts when I was close to being chained down. (Sorry. married). I have a f**king HUGE family on both sides. I decided I was only going to invite the one I liked enough to spend time with. Which turned out to be about a dozen people. I figured it was my wedding and if you didn’t get an invite, then it meant that I didn’t like you enough to invite you. I have many cousins who got married and I didn’t get invited. Oh well. Of course, I didn’t go through with said marriage. Anyway, I am just very happy I got an invite and get to be all gussied up in a suit and tie and be part of the hitchin’.

    (Any single girls out there, see you in June cutie pie!!)

  2. If you haven’t talked to them in over a year, they’re out. Be as bossy as you want. It is the only day in your life where you can call the shots without being called an asshole, to your face. (unless you are my husband, he got two days)

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