I’m not doing one of those silly “T minus countdowns”

But I am heading out in a few days. I haven’t bought any swim trunks, but I’m sure they have clothing for sale down there, right? I guess I can Google that shit later. I am looking forward to the trip, but it is coming at a time where I’m feeling pretty conflicted on what to do. We booked the trip a while ago, and now that I’m home, Paul isn’t doing well, and I feel like I’m abandoning my family. Before everyone gets on here and tells me that I’m an idiot, let me finish. I know I’m not abandoning anyone, but it feels like I got home from out west, just to turn around and bugger off for another week. It’s one of those damned if you do, damned if you don’t. I also don’t have a job lined up, so I’m feeling a little lazy about that as well. I know that once I get down there and feel the warm sun on my cocoa butter soaked skin, I will forget all about my woes and troubles and just melt into the salty depths. If we weren’t going down with the couples that we are, I would probably be fairly depressed the whole time, but they really are four of the nicest, most fun people we could have picked. It’s nice when you instantly feel comfortable around people that you haven’t known for a great number of years, because then you know that they aren’t going to slip some acid in your drink, send you into a crowded foreign city and then follow you from a distance, while laughing heartily as you freak out. Well, unless they are con artists. I guess they are trained to make you feel comfortable around them, and then they completely screw you around. Hey, wait a minute. I wonder if they are a bunch of grifters, just waiting to take advantage of a poor country boy like me? Baby, we had better keep our eyes open on this trip.

I plan on spending some time right here

To be quite honest with you, I really couldn’t give a shit where I go for the week, as long as I’m going with Mrs. B. We could be just going up to the hunt camp for a few days, and touring around central Ontario and I’d be just as happy. The only real reason we are going to a tropical destination is because she loves heat, sun and beaches, and it’s probably cheaper than getting hotels around here. I’ve never done an all inclusive before, so I guess it won’t hurt to try it, and we are doing another eastern Canada trip for our honeymoon, so this will be just the right get away for us to recharge. I know it seems like I’m never working, but for some reason, I’m tired as hell. I can’t wait to just relax, and not have any reason to get out of bed in the morning, night, or afternoon. I plan on cocooning for at least five hours a day, and sleeping for at least eight, so that will give me eleven hours to eat, drink and be merry. We are going to have so many epic dates that it will maybe help make up for all of the time that I was gone. For Mrs. Birdman, I mean. I had epic dates with Chin almost every night when we were in camp. I think she only had a few the whole time. She deserves a whole bunch more.

She really does deserve all that I can give, and more. She is far and away the most thoughtful, kind, selfless, trusting, and loving woman I’ve ever been with. I wonder every day how I got so lucky to bag a AAA grade lady like her, and just as often I think of how I’m going to keep her. It’s one of those wonderful times in your life that you are with someone that you appreciate more than anyone has ever appreciated another human being, and they feel the exact same way. I find myself always trying to make her happy, because there is nothing that I love more than seeing her beautiful smile on her beautiful face. Anyone who knows her, knows what I’m talking about. When she is really happy, she can light up a room with her luminescent aura. It seeps into every shadow, and lights up every face in the room. It’s miraculous, brilliant, and fantastic, but best of all, it’s mine. I get to feel it’s warmth and it’s magnificence every day, and I don’t think that I’ll ever get used to it. For that I am thankful.

The day I get used to it, is the day that I will start taking it for granted, and inevitably losing it. No, I think I will keep finding new ways to adore her. To get high on her sparke. To love her unconditionally. I can honestly say that I have met my perfect match, in every way that I can think of, and I never want to lose that. I never want to see her cry, and even though I know she will, I must make sure that I’m never the cause of her sorrow. I’ve already agreed not to die before she does, so there’s that part of the equation taken care of. I guess that I just need to look after the girls and protect them well enough to last longer than we do. I think I was born to do these types of things anyhow, so I’m glad that I will finally be able to fulfill my destiny.

I almost feel like my life can’t get more perfect than it is right now. I come from such a caring, loving family, and just when I am starting to think that it’s going to be the defining part of me, I meet this sensational woman, with tremendous kids, and I am embarking on a journey to find my own tiny slice of paradise. I know that finding my calling, career-wise would be the cherry on top of this sundae, but I gotta tell ya. If I have to work in a factory for the rest of my life to support these three ladies of mine, I’ll still die ten times happier than 99% of the rest of the world, and that’s all right by me.

Mama told me that some day it would happen, but she never said that it would happen like this,


11 thoughts on “I’m not doing one of those silly “T minus countdowns”

  1. I go away every spring and I call it my re-charge, being a single mom and I mean all by my self, it is my god given right to have 7 days to myself to do whatever I want whenever I want, I dont have to answer to anyone or anything, no dishes, no laundry, no cooking, and no cleaning, and yes I get a break from my two beautiful daughters that every single parent deserves….
    So don’t feel guilty that you are going when things at home may not be how you wished they were, and as for the job, you will deal with that when you return from your tropical paradise….Go have fun enjoy Mrs. Birdman and all your friends and remember when at the swim up bar, have a few for me and do get out once in awhile to use the mens room…..it just looks better…..and you wont be the “guy” that never moved from his stool in 6 hrs……;)

    • No worries kikkky, I always wear my depends in the pool. I know it doesn’t do much, but it gives the impression that I’m responsibly handling my own waste. Thanks for the concern though.

  2. This post will be my go-to post when I want to crawl into the cocoon and remember how much you love me. ๐Ÿ™‚ I am so excited to have 7 days of unadulterated debauchery with you and the gang. So looking forward to the pre-honeymoon!
    I love you more than peanut butter, Tim Hortons coffee, and David Duchovny as Hank Moody. ๐Ÿ™‚ <3

    • Baby, you just have to ask me how much I love you. You know, like you do every night. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Oh wait, were you talking about when you get the Alzheimer’s, and I get the schizophrenia? Then yeah, if you remember that there’s a blog, you could read it.

      • I appreciate you acknowledging my shitty comment. It makes me feel special. I think I should stop posting stuff like that and be kind. But let’s face it, we both know it’s not gonna happen. But thank you. Cunt.

  3. Might be better off getting a bathing suit before you go – they tend to be expensive at resorts ’cause they know they’ve got you over a barrel. I don’t know what’s doing up in Canada, but our stores down here all have tropical stuff on display for those lucky motherfuckers that are going someplace warm. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    • I have some trunks that I’ve cut the mesh out of. They’ll be just fine. I never did get a banana hammock, but it’s probably for the best.

  4. You are right, things are not good here, but you missing the trip of a lifetime won’t make it better. Paul will be here when you get home and none of us think you are abandoning us. I already told you this is not a good place to visit. For dog sake have a great time and buy that swim suit. You and Gerry are very lucky to have one another and I know that you will never get tired of being the Love of each others lives. Happy Holiday – Your Pocket Mom.

    • I’m glad that you read the first part of the blog thoroughly. I love you, my dear mother. I’ll try to get out there tomorrow, for a quick visit.

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