I’m A Little Behind


I have all of these things to write about, but no time to write them. I guess I need to first tell you that Float Your Fanny is next weekend and we just realized that we need to redesign and rebuild the raft. No big deal, except that Gadget and I only have Friday to do it. I guess we should have looked at the depth of the river before committing to a 600+ pound raft. Oh well, we are going to have one sweet floating island for this summer, and a sleek, shallow water vessel for being river pirates. Those Somalis ain’t got nothing on us.

So far we have received $50 from Gadget and my mom to put towards the raft, but that won’t even cover the cost of building it, let alone the $70 it will cost to enter us all in it. Actually, Mom’s was to sponsor the girl’s Great Strides walk, but we have priorities you know.

This looks pretty good, huh? Too bad we can't use it. :(

This looks pretty good, huh? Too bad we can’t use it. 🙁

I know that you don’t have any money, but I know that you still want to help, so I’ve put in a little button here for you to click on. It will take you to the magical land of Paypalia, where you can send monetary units via your email address or credit cards or something. I actually don’t know where it comes from, but I know that when my wallet is empty I can still buy stuff on ebay. I hope the girls like powdered eggs and milk.

[nicepaypallite name=”Help us look like assholes”]

As for Easter weekend, we did a lot of family things. I had Easter at Mom’s, Dad’s, and at Sam’s where I left with enough soup, ham, and scalloped potatoes to give myself three meals. I guess the kids made out alright, but I’ve quit paying attention to that aspect of it. Well, except when they give me chocolate. I fucking well pay attention to that, let me tell ya.

I guess the holiday has lost it’s appeal to me, probably since I quit believing in God, and therefore his son. Well, maybe it was a little later than that. It was more likely when people stopped giving me big chocolate bunnies and shit. Then I was all like “Whatever, assholes. This is a bullshit holiday anyhow. I’m making a ham sandwich and a rum and coke, and then I’m retreating to the van. You all can suck the wind out of my ass, Christians.”

I didn’t really say that shit, but I would have. Probably. Then I would have performed a Pagan ritual in the van to cleanse my soul.

Anyhow, I’m rambling because I’m beat. Working is for the birds. Not this Bird, but maybe pigeons or starlings.

I am the egg man, I am the egg man, I am the walrus, coo coo ka choo,


P.S. It’s the first post of the month. Comment to win a free Guardian Bell.

5 thoughts on “I’m A Little Behind

  1. No worries, Birdman! You always been a little behind, haven’t you? We’ll forgive the tardiness this time, but don’t let it happen again! Nice lookin’ craft you got there!

  2. You are the winner, Scotty. By default, of course. If anyone else had of commented they probably would have beat you. Go to the Guardian Bell ad at the top of the page and go pick out your bell. Let me know the bell and your mailing address and we’ll get that shipped to you. Thanks for being awake this late.

  3. I can understand giving up on God and His Son, but to me, The “Reason for this particular season” is the chocolate bunnies, peeps and jelly beans, dammit! Don’t give up on that shit, Bird Turd! Seriously!!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *