I Don’t Think I Can Save Your Marriage


I suppose a bunch of you saw a post shared yesterday that stated “Change The Topic saved my marriage”.

That was a screw up, and I am deeply sorry. So deeply.

I didn’t want the post to go public, but it seems like it did. People started commenting with offers of cheap Viagra, penis extensions, and romantic vacations. It amazes me how helpful strangers will be when they think that someone is having marital troubles. Bravo to canadian pharmacy, Caribbean Cheap Vacays, and super vac ENLARGER for at least trying to help before I just deleted everything on them.

What happened was that I saw this widget that would go in the footer of the new email posts (which will be starting with this one). It was going to rotate between a bunch of fake testimonials that I thought would be very funny, but in the end it turned out to be difficult and shitty, so I abandoned the quest.

I haven’t abandoned the testimonial idea, just that particular one. If any of you want to send in your bogus testimonial about how this blog has greatly improved your life, you can go to the contact page, leave a comment here, or email birdman (at) changethetopic.com.((Apparently using the word “at” instead of @ means bots can’t find your email and abuse you. Whether it’s true or not, I don’t know.))

I will be on the lookout for another way to put them on the blog, and into the subscription emails as well. Whether you care or not, I don’t know. What I do know is that I love this song.

The original by Mickey Newbury is excellent and more somber, but this is the first version I had heard, and it’s from one of my favourite albums of all time, so I put it here for your listening pleasure. It’s also a lot clearer than the original, which was recorded in the late 60s or early 70s and probably copied to Youtube directly from vinyl. I suggest that you listen to both, because there is a beauty to the rawness of music coming off of an actual old album that can’t be felt in a crisp digital remastering.

Not that I’m trying to tell you what to do.((TAKE A LOOK AT GREEN PARTY POLICIES.))

Anyhow, as I mentioned earlier, this is the first post using Postmatic, so if at least one of you could reply to this email (if you are a subscriber), I would greatly appreciate it.

Just any sort of comment is fine. You could tell me how much you like my gut, now that I’ve packed on a few more pounds, or you could give your testimonial about how we have changed your quality of life. These are just examples.


16 thoughts on “I Don’t Think I Can Save Your Marriage

  1. This post made me laugh. I have accidentally published a few that were supposed to be tests. Just one of the finer gifts this venue provides. 😉

    [image: –]

    Jack B.
    [image: http://]about.me/thejackb

    “When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun’.” —

  2. You turned down cheap Viagra?!! Thanks for making me smile. 🙂

    Sent from my Samsung device over Bell’s LTE network.

  3. I’ve never thought about it before, but I am fairly certain that the dissolution of my own marriage came along only shortly after I began to read your blog. I’m going to go back over the rbeak-up to see if and where you might have been responsible. If I find that you WERE, well, I don’t know whether I will be happy or sad about that.

    Now. Let’s see if this posts via email…

    • It did! It did, Katy Anders! I will take part of the responsibility for your marriage going to shit, but I partly blame Texas for it. Texas doesn’t want the lesbians to be happy. Stupid Texas.

  4. Change the Topic saved my marriage! Okay, I’m not married. I don’t plan on it, either. But you never know. But C the T would save me in the event of a nuclear holocaust, Zombie Apocalypse or a leaky faucet, I just know these things.

    Birdman, I haven’t seen your picture showing the extra pounds, but I would like to. If you would wear that diaphanous gown and cheeky smile, that would be great! You know which gown…

    I know you and Mrs. Birdman are happily married because of the lovely photos of you two, smiling at each other like two silly kids. How does she do it? She has got to be in line for saint-hood or the winning lotto ticket line. Seriously, you both know how fortunate you are to have each other, plus two!

    It’s always great to hear from you!

    My new on-screen name is PIX Firewall. Cheers, mate!

    • Oh, you are still alive, Pix Firewall. I sometimes get worried about you. As for the zombie apocalypse, I promise you that it will not happen in our lifetime. Nuclear holocaust, on the other hand, is possible, so I invite you to our bunker for however many years it takes to get the earth to start growing shit again. Bring chips or something else to dip into the 47 pallets of Spam that will keep us alive.

      It’s good to hear from you again.

  5. So replying o this email populates my reply as a comment on your blog, eh?
    Interesting…it does feel somehow more intimate, like I’m writing a letter for your eyes only. I woner if you’ll get more comments this way – you lemeeno if you do.


    ps glad to hear your marriage is not in trouble; you guys are the adorablest.

    • I love being able to comment from the phone. My understanding is they’re working on something that will make our names link back to our sites. I think that will make it even more enticing.

    • So far it seems to work pretty good. There are a few bugs, like when certain email signatures are there, or that the footnotes plugin doesn’t  work like it’s supposed to, but that’s only in the email of the post. The post still seems to be the same on the blog.

      I do agree about us being the adorablest, but you and Le Huz are pretty damn cute, yourselves.

  6. What I want to know is, WTF is up between Canada and the U.S. that we STILL can’t listen to each other’s music links online…

    • I think it has something to do with hockey. Maybe when the fighting stops in the NHL, we can make musical peace with our brothers and sisters south of the border. Or west of the border in our case. It could also be because of Ted Cruz. I think he is to blame for a lot of problems.

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