Hindsight is still 20/20

Subtitle: Hard Asses Need Not Read

Consider yourself warned.


Baby, I know this is your blog, but I wanted to leave you a note here to let you know how much you are going to be missed.

So it’s been about 4 hours since you’ve been gone and I am completely alone here in this house.  It’s been a very long time that I have been all alone here, and frankly I’m not a big fan.

What in the world were we thinking so many months ago when we thought this would be a good idea, and ‘no big deal’ for us?  We must have been sniffing glue if we thought this was going to be easy.  You are not even gone a day and I am already wondering what i am going to do with the rest of my day, week and month.   I guess that’s what you meant last night in the cocoon, when you told me that hindsight makes for better decision-making.  I’ll drink to that, pal.

Life around here will not be the same without the Bird to moderate the Bees.  We will miss everything about you, and we will be anxiously awaiting your return.  We you said goodbye to the girls this morning, it broke my heart, but it also made it swell with pride and love.  They love you, maybe as much as I do, and your absence is going to leave a hole in their lives too.  You are part of our family, and we won’t be complete again until you are back.

Chris, you make me so goddamned happy, I can’t even begin to express it properly.  You make every day something to look forward to, and I have found joy beyond my wildest dreams with you.  The only thing better than being your fiance will be being your wife, and I am counting down the days to that too.

Saying goodbye to you was so hard.  We were like a couple of old ladies, crying and laughing, with the tears running down our cheeks.  This is stupid.  You should not be going out west now, and you should never do it again.  This post is to remind me of how UTTERLY RIDICULOUS it is to let your true love leave you for no good reason.  I understand people being separated by war, by geography, by work, but you and I are not going to do this again without good reason.  And by good, I mean that we need to make bail money for the kids.  Otherwise, we are staying together in the same place.

I was looking for something this morning, and I stumbled on a small part of the following poem.  I didn’t write it, obviously, but it says exactly what I am thinking, so I am going to share it here.  I know you never listen to lyrics of songs, because you are a dude, and you only care about the music, but lyrics are like poems too.  I am going to stick to poems for the simple fact that there is no music to distract you, and make you not bother listening to the lyrics.  🙂

I love you,
Not only for what you are,
But for what I am
When I am with you.
I love you,
Not only for what
You have made of yourself,
But for what
You are making of me.
I love you
For the part of me
That you bring out;
I love you
For putting your hand
Into my heaped-up heart
And passing over
All the foolish, weak things
That you can’t help
Dimly seeing there,
And for drawing out
Into the light
All the beautiful belongings
That no one else had looked
Quite far enough to find.
I love you because you
Are helping me to make
Of the lumber of my life
Not a tavern
But a temple;
Out of the works
Of my every day
Not a reproach
But a song.
I love you
Because you have done
More than any creed
Could have done
To make me good
And more than any fate
Could have done
To make me happy.
You have done it
Without a touch,
Without a word,
Without a sign.
You have done it
By being yourself.
Perhaps that is what
Being a friend means,
After all.

Roy Croft

I don’t know Roy at all, but I think he’s written (well, actually translated apparently, I don’t think this is his original work either) some beautiful thoughts, and they describe exactly what I am thinking.

I’m going to finish off with a small slideshow.  It’s really just for you to look at if you forget why you are out there, or to give you a smile when you’ve had a hard day.  I don’t much care if anyone else looks at it, but they are certainly welcome to if they feel like it.  I hope you know how much we love you, and how much we want you back home, even though you have just left.

I love you, Baby.


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