Out Of Focus

That’s a double entendre.

I’ve been trying to come up with a decent post about my beautiful new bride, and how much I admire her. The thoughts were there, but the catalyst was missing. Well, I guess catalyst isn’t exactly the right word, but I thought it would make me sound a little bit smarter. Good luck with that, right? Maybe vehicle would be the proper term I should use, but no, that’s probably not right either. Oh bother , let’s just never mind and get on with the story.

Okay, I got to be the assistant for a wedding this weekend. This was my first time ever being a real assistant for a real wedding, so it was pretty exciting. The other cool thing was that I knew a few people there, and I got to use a camera. Seriously.

After a crash course in using a pro camera, I was sent forth to catch the “B” game. I believe that just means snapping all kinds of pictures behind the scenes, and hoping you get one that is usable. I only say that because Mrs. B said to me as I was looking woefully inadequate with my new tool, “You can’t screw anything up. It doesn’t matter if you even get one photo, you’re just there as the “B” game so don’t worry about it.”

I have to tell you that her psychology works on me most of the time, and this was no different. I just took pictures and tried all kinds of shit. I couldn’t get things focused to save my life, but I didn’t really care. I just kept on clicking away and getting into my artistic groove. I felt charged, and I let my creative juices flow. It was awesome.

The sharpness of the speaker is unmatched.

I also did a lot better than I thought I would. After my new boss went through the hundreds of photos that I had shot, she found one that she could work with in photoshop, and maybe even be able to use it. Woo hoo! I’m a photographer now, Daddy. I’m going to start shooting weddings on my own.

I know that I won’t be able to charge much at first, but soon I will be rich. I can’t wait to go to conventions, and mingle with the mucky-mucks of the photography world. It’s going to be epic.

Sorry, I got a little off-topic there. What I want to say is that whenever I get the chance to watch the love of my life in action, I get a little flutter in my stomach. She is like a different person when she gets into her zone, and it’s beautiful to watch. I had always thought that she was magical, but I figured that I was biased or something. You know, on account of us always having the relations, and being totally in love with each other.

Those thoughts were assuaged at this wedding.

Like I had said earlier, there were some people that I knew there, and one of them was William Stephenson (totally not his real name, but until he contacts me with a code name, it will stick). His sister was also there, and I hadn’t seen her since high school or shortly thereafter. She came up to me and asked if I had ever taken photos of my beautiful wife while she was shooting. I told her that I had, but they are quickly deleted by the lady herself, and I asked her why she wondered that. She said that she was watching her take pictures of all of these people, and her face had such a huge smile on it that you just knew it was what she was meant to do.

The only one that she would let me use.

Haha, it’s fucking confirmed now. It’s not just me that sees it. I had always loved working with her, because to see her interacting with people in that element is sheer beauty. I loved her from the start, but when she would let me come out and be her “light bitch”, I got to see why all of her clients loved her. I understood why they all raved about getting their pictures taken by her.

I’m sure that you all know someone that loves their job. Maybe it’s a computer nerd that always goes on about coding, or designing some new graphic for their website, or it’s a teacher that you can just see was meant to set kids on the right path in their life by the way her eyes sparkle when a child asks a question. Well, that’s what I get to witness every time I get to go out with her.

Every night when we get to the cocoon, and I tell her how much I love her, she always asks, “Why did you love me today?”

That’s when I tell her whatever stood out that day. The thing is, that there is always something. Some little thing that she said to someone to brighten their day, week, life, or maybe it was something she did for someone and didn’t mention it.

I get to be here in the background, and I see that happen all the time. I can’t go into details here, but there are lots of times that she will remember something about someone, could be a client, a friend, or both, and she will spend countless hours on little extras for them. I will sometimes say, “Why are you doing all of that? It was just a so and so session.”

“Because she ??? around the same time that I ???, and I know that she’ll appreciate this, so if I have to spend a few extra hours on making her pictures just perfect, that’s what I’m going to do.”

Good enough for me. I can’t even begin to count the times that I’ve sat at my desk behind her and watched her work, and I am just dumbfounded with pride at how much she does for people, on and behind the scenes, but the fact that she doesn’t do it for herself is what really brings tears of joy to my eyes. She gets that everything will come back, and that the path to truly being happy, is to make others happy.

Baby, you you asked me last night, why I loved you yesterday, and I said that it was because of how well you had worked with those people to make them comfortable in front of the camera. That’s only a half truth. I loved you because I see the way you show people how beautiful they really are. I love that you can take someone who hates the way they look, and show them what they really look like. I love how you make them almost cry with happiness when they see the pictures that you took. Not many people can do that. You can.

Most of all, I love the way you make me feel when I’m around you. I feel like I’m the smartest, kindest, most handsome motherfucker that ever walked the planet, and that’s because of you.

The sad part is that now you have me believing it, so I think I’m going to move to Hollywood and see if I can’t make a go of acting.

Just kidding.

I love you with every last beat of my heart, and I hope we don’t die soon.

I thought I’d show you her favourite tattoo. It’s a cautionary tale about hash, beer, and a friend’s new tattoo gun.

There’s a hole in my heart that can only be filled by you,


15 thoughts on “Out Of Focus

  1. I love how in love the two of you are with each other. It gives me hope that I will someday find my lobster.

    Oh and Birdman, if and when I get hitched, you can shoot the “B” roll. You two can drink and take pictures all night long.

    That should be interesting!!

    I love you guys!!

    • Yeah, she’s alright, I guess. If you get married, I’m shooting the A game. She’ll be too busy trying to find homes for the dudes that are sleeping in the bank machine alcoves.

  2. That’s awesome Birdman! What a great tribute to your lovely wife. On another note, does she do all sorts of photography? I am looking for some family shots – I will send you guys a note. And, by the way, I am HOWLING at the caption under the tattoo picture!

  3. Ahhhh…this one makes me blush. 🙂 Thank you for being such a great assistant, and a one-man cheering squad. So glad you are my husband. You make it easy to wake up in the morning, and a joy to fall into bed at night. (And the in-between is pretty great too!) I love you! xo

    • You think? I have to admit that I was pretty choked up writing it, but had never thought of it as best post material. Thanks for the vote.

  4. Great post Dude! Your lady is 2nd in the “women i love list”!
    Back to the tattoo pic. I am known to be a bit of a tattoo enthusiast, and I have been known to check out, and possibly ask questions about, every bit of ink that see rearing its head from shirt sleeves, collars, pant legs and flip flop tops! But, in the past year and a bit, in all the shenanigans that we have been together in, I have never been told the story of, or even asked the question of where you were given the ink or what the fuck it is!
    So, tell me, what the fuck is it?
    Inky McInkerton (Gadget)

    • I don’t want to name names, or go into detail, because there was a lot of unlawfulness in this period of my life, but let’s say that a friend from town got a gun, and that booze, drugs, cheap ink, a good artist, and his first gun don’t always end properly. You don’t have to worry, I don’t think he’s working anywhere.

  5. How awesome. I’m glad you both have found each other. I do know what you mean about loving to watch Mrs. B in action. I love watching The Hubster doing things that he enjoys doing. Ain’t love grand?

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