First Game Of The Season

I had me down for a pulled groin on the first hit, but I don’t think it’s pulled, maybe just torn a little. I guess we’ll see how bad it is when I wake up in the morning. My lady took a ball to the vag in the second, and got a hematoma on the side of her knee in the fourth, but she walked it off on both occasions. Damn she’s tough. I also barreled through a girl at second and I may have crushed her spine, but we haven’t got the results back from the x-rays yet. One of her teammates “jerseyed” me after I did it, and in my disorientation, I thought he was trying to help us up. Nope. I don’t know if you are aware, but I’m what some would call “portly”, and when I get some momentum going, it’s quite hard to stop me. If there is someone standing in the centre of the bag I’m heading for, there’s a good chance we are going to caress each other.

Hard, and in the guts or back.

We also had a casualty on the sidelines. T got her finger “slammed” in the bathroom door at the ball field, and was “gushing” blood all over the place. She hasn’t learned the proper ways to make it look worse by squeezing below and “milking” the veins, but I guess that comes in time. For now, she is going to have to keep smearing the smaller amounts of blood to make it look like she lost a pint, instead of a teaspoon. Don’t worry, I’ll train her up on that, because it was my specialty as a much younger man.

Back to the game. Other than Swiper, and a smattering of others, I don’t think there was a lot of ball played since the day we lost the “B” championships to the same team we were playing tonight. I feel a rivalry coming on. Stella and her band of ringers are going to feel my icy stares from now until the end of the season. I hope they resonate down to their very cores, and strike fear into their hearts, because “The Stray Cats” are back with a vengeance. Yes, the beer league will never be the same, and I feel sorry for anyone that comes up against us now. We are simply summed up in one word: efficiency. We are a well oiled machine, a wrecking ball of destiny, a jackhammer of souls. You get the picture, right? We’re mean. Let me show you some photos of us at our meanest.

We are going to let her go soon. Then you will be sorry.

This is seconds before Swiper exploded this guy's brain with his rage. Smiling bastard.










Shifter has been known to burn ants with a magnifying glass. Where will the horror end?

Cold, calculating, very strong pimp hand. Fear him.












This is seconds before I tore Cooper's forelegs off, just for trying to lead.

And here is Stella, taunting us. She has a bit of a mean streak, but I don't think she's any match for the likes of our band of thugs.












I forgot to mention that over the winter, my depth perception may have been compromised. It seems that I can’t properly judge fly balls anymore. This may prove challenging for my defence of right field. I may need to drink beer before, as well as after the games to rectify this situation, or maybe even wear an eye patch. They are both good ideas, and what woman doesn’t love a man in an eye patch?

Luckily the price of beer didn’t go up at all, so we can still afford the luxury of Shifter’s tailgate or trunk after the games. It’s where we discuss our plans for retaliation, and lament over the drubbing of the day. It also is where we neglect the children, so as to raise them with some spite and indifference, because we need hardcore types to take over for us when we get too old for this ourselves.

Now to touch on my Friday post. I wasn’t looking for praise or anything. I was just a little miffed that some bloggers seem to feel that sharing blogs shouldn’t be free. There was a lot of fuel for it, because I’m so opinionated and don’t think to filter myself. I wasn’t saying that everyone should share all blogs that they like, because there are a lot of blogs (like this one) that may be offensive to some. Why share things to your readers that would shock or offend, unless you have readers that enjoy that sort of thing? I wouldn’t be sharing things that I find offensive, but I think that if I’m going to share, it should be free. I couldn’t justify charging another blogger money to share his/her blog, if they are freely sharing their work with others. It would be different if they were charging others, then I guess it would be fitting to make them pay a fee if they wanted to buy adspace for their blog.

I also wasn’t suggesting that people should get on Google+ and share the blogs of others, because that’s my job. I really don’t excel at much, so please let me have this. If you did want to help, maybe let your friends know to circle me at and then they will know when new posts are up from a bunch of different authors, and can communicate with others on the subjects covered.

I know that I’ve got a lot of stuff that I forgot to put in here, but whatever. There’s always tomorrow.

He said you ain’t seen nothin’ til you’re down on a muffin, then you’re sure to be a-changin’ your ways,


7 thoughts on “First Game Of The Season

  1. Sounds like we play ball the same way. Too bad I never got the chance to play with you. Ball. Baseball. You know what I mean.

  2. I feel I have *may* have been misrepresented in this edition, however delightfully thrilled to be mentioned.. I guess I just havent truly been the same since being made aware of 50 shades of grey. I believe that streak will be provoked from time to time and I won’t mention whats sore or pulled on this cat. Although not stray, truly my favourite opposition..let it be known that the only thing “jerseyed”about me is my snooki ass and hair. Let the fun begin, next time BIRDMAN-next time.
    love Stella.

    • Oh, Stella. I mentioned you a lot as you ran around your bases without a care in the world. I’ll be waiting, my pretty

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *