Dear Birdman: I know you said to get something in before 5 and it’s now…midnight. But if you didn’t get any submissions, I was gonna give you one. If you did, then save it for a rainy day. And btw, I haven’t read all those posts yet so forgive me if you’ve already done one similar.
Here’s the deal:
My daughter, age 17, wants to go over to her boyfriend’s house this weekend. Not the whole weekend, just maybe Saturday or something. Her boyfriend is 20 but in many ways acts like he’s 14, albeit a very horny 14 year old. (You are going to condense this in your own words, right? Because I’m not doing my best work here.) Anyway, my daughter is sort of behind for her age (I suspect she’s high-functioning autistic) and doesn’t really go places and do things with a bunch of friends like I did at her age. She’s no longer a virgin (she lost this under her Daddy’s supervision. That didn’t sound exactly right but you know what I mean), I know this and was a little disappointed but not surprised. I was doing the mattress mambo at 16.
I’ve allowed her boyfriend to come over to the house a few times he seems harmless enough. Meaning, he’s no axe-murderer but he’s definitely not someone I’m happy about her being with. He’s working at a factory, not in college, lives with his Grandma and Uncle (whom I’ve never met) and spends his disposable income on video games and katanas.
I know I can’t keep her locked up forever but I’m having a hard time saying yes to her request because I feel it’s pretty much like serving up her vagina on a silver platter garnished with all that green shit.
you do keep these anonymous, right? Continue reading