Jul 23

Stray Cat Strut

Sometimes you agree to do things that you almost immediately regret.  Maybe you are not that kind of person, but I most certainly am.  A little more than a year ago, Dora asked me to join her and Swiper’s ball team to round out the list of required ladies.  They were in dire need of another member with two X chromosomes, and apparently no other qualifications.  They were happy to take on Birdman as well, but it was Mrs. Birdman who was going to make the team legal in the league.

Because I am the type of person who was rarely picked in any team sport, I was thrilled to be included, and jumped at the chance to join the ‘Stray Cats’ in the Castleton 3-Pitch Sports Club.  I say jumped, because i literally jumped up and down in excitement.  I wasn’t really thinking about how I was going to actually have to play ball, but more that I was finally part of an actual team that wasn’t forced to pick me!  Yayyyy!

Luckily my lady let me put some pics in. You’re welcome.

It was around the first game when the most severe case of nerves struck.  I came to the ball field, suited up in my favorite biking shorts, a shirt and my runners.  My brand-new ball glove probably still had the tag on it.  I was so green it hurt.  I had to face the fact that I had not played any type of organized sports in more than 25 years.  I truly wondered what had possessed me to think I could join a team of players that had been playing together for years.  The sheer, unparalleled fear that overtook me was hard to ignore.  I had a queasy, rolling stomach at each and every game we played.  Going out to bat was torture.  I could barely hit, and when I did, I was easily thrown out at first or second.  In addition to having a less than mediocre hitting prowess, I couldn’t run OR catch either.  I spent most of the first season waiting to be purposely benched in favor of faster, more agile, and better-looking players hitting the field to defend our honour, but that never happened.   Shockingly, they let me play every time.  The team even let me kick one of our ladies out of the coveted bat-catch position, because truly, there isn’t too much damage that one can do behind the plate in 3-pitch.   I rarely had any opportunity to do anything but watch the plays, and return the ball to the pitcher when required.  Easy-peezy.

I have to admit…eventually my fear turned to anticipation.  I started to really enjoy playing ball, and I really enjoyed the members of my team.  This awesome group of friends made us feel like part of the team right from the first day.  I learned later on that ours is one of the most fun teams in the league, and we seem to have just about as much fun as you can have with a ball uniform on.

Swiper’s business sponsors the team, and he is the best short stop around.  There is rarely a ball that can get by him, unless he’s got an injury or he’s been hitting the beer cooler too hard.  Even then, he’s 100x better than I’ll ever hope to be.  He can pitch, hit and catch, and he’s hell on wheels when he gets rounding those bases.  When he was out with a knee injury last year, we didn’t fare that well without him.  Luckily, he came back early (not recommended) to help us fight back (very recommended) and regain our mid-level standings on the field.   His lady, Dora, nicknamed ‘Scrappy’, is a fiery ginger.  Legend has it that she was front and center in an epic ball-brawl at a tournament a few years back.  It was quite a melee, and there are still people who don’t speak because of it.  (So sad I missed it!).  The good news, is that Dora, like Swiper, can hit, catch AND run.  She’s a triple threat on the field, but a sweetie on the bench.

Slugger is married to Shifter, and she’s a swinger with a heart of gold.  She can hit.  I mean, she can really hit, and she’s one of my favorite athletic supporters on the bench.  Shifter is in the executive for the club (yay for POWER!) and he’s our trusty 3rd baseman.   Rounding out the rest of our roster, is Skye (2nd), Jamie, Jeremy, Mel, Wes, Ange, and Handsome Kenny, all fabulously fantastic people, and the funnest ball team in the history of the universe.  I say this with utmost confidence.

It’s fantastic to be part of a team again.  The Stray Cats are full of fun, support, encouragement, and occasional naughtiness.  There will always be someone to slap your back (or your butt cheeks), congratulate you on a great play, or console you when you didn’t quite make the grade.  I have come to look forward to Sunday ball, and gathering with this fantastic group of friends.  There is something about the feeling of belonging that they give to me that makes it irrelevant that I am never going to be a decent player.  I feel like a part of the team, and I know that when they are playing without us, they are feeling our absence.  I hate it when anyone misses a game, not because I think we can’t be without them, but because I miss them when they are gone.  I love what this team has done for reminding me what teamwork and effort can truly achieve, and how great it is to be a part of something bigger than myself.

Tonight it looked like we were going to get our asses handed to us by the Hot Shots.  They had us down 7 runs in the first inning, but by the end, the score was 10-9 for them.  Sure, they beat us, but they definitely didn’t spank us.  We pulled up our orange, stripe-y socks in the second inning, and worked hard to bring it back.  We played together, and worked together, and had a great game.  We laughed, and we cut up, and we may have even done a few Stray Cat Struts.

Some of us have been getting together to practice outside of our regular games.  It’s not so much that we feel like we have to practice (although we definitely do), but more because we love running around together, working up a sweat, and spending time as a team.  It seems there are not enough hours dedicated to our Cats in the week, and we feel the need to find a few more.  So in that spirt, I’ll see y’all again next Thursday, and Sunday, and any other day you want to get together as a team.  I’ll be there.  🙂

I’m flat broke but I don’t care, I strut right by with my tail in the air.

Mrs. Birdman

Jul 16

Well, We Had A Great Vacation

Yep, the girls were amazing, and never complained or fought once. Well, until we got home that is, but I’ll take it. I am just relieved that they didn’t call my bluff about turning the van around, no matter where we were. I guess they didn’t realize that the trip had already been paid for, and there was no way that I was going to miss going on the Ride Of Steel. I hope they stay that gullible forever.

Wait, not with boys though. They had better not fall for some guy’s bullshit. I know for a fact, that most boys will say anything to get in a girl’s good graces, so to speak. It’s almost like we lose all of our faculties or something, but either way, they will be well learned on that subject by the time they need it.

So we went to Darien Lake, near Buffalo, NY, and it was awesome. If you rent one of their air-conditioned trailers during the week with four people it works out to around $150 per person for two nights of camping and three days of park passes, plus breakfast and supper for your stay. You really can’t beat that.

Another nice thing was that you can walk around the park and drink beer. There’s nothing like watching parents get told that they can’t go on the bumper cars with their kids if they have a beer in their hand. (Penny) Continue reading

Jul 09

Oh My God, Darien Lake Is So Awesome

That’s what I’m probably saying right now, because I wrote this on Saturday to schedule(pronounced – shed-yule) for Monday. There are some things that I love in this world, and being able to schedule blog posts is one of them.

Another thing I love is my lady. She’s the bee’s knees. She’s the one who got me interested in blogging last September. That’s right, fuckers. I’ve almost been blogging for a year, and I still can’t believe how far I’ve come. If you hold on a bit, I’ll show you.

Like really? I’m fucking flabbergasted.

I don’t want you to think I’m bragging here, because I’m not. These aren’t amazing blog stats or anything, but for me they are phenomenal. That’s almost 50000 page views, and while I realize that a lot of them are from Google and other bot companies, I’m still very happy with myself. Even if it’s half of that I think I’m doing pretty well. I’m still in shock over this, and I have you all to thank for it.

Yeah, the readers are very important, but if it weren’t for my incredible support team, I’d never have gotten very far at all. You see a lot of them in the photos, and you know a lot of them by code names, but you don’t see the stuff behind the scenes. We have to go to a lot of parties to discuss new posts, plan them out, and execute the … Who am I fooling. We go to the parties to get liquored up and try to see girls kiss each other. They rarely do, but all it takes is once. What the support team is is the greatest bunch of friends and family that anyone could ask for. I get so much inspiration from them that it still seems surreal to me that one person could be so lucky. Not only are they funny as fuck, but they are there with a helping hand, comforting shoulder, or a kick in the ass whenever it’s needed.

This is just before we Godzillad the playset

I know that I don’t give my greatest supporter, fan, and friend the respect and adoration that she deserves on here, but Mrs. Birdman knows how much she means to me. She is always there to tell me that something is good when I need a boost, or that it needs some work, when the writing needs a boost. She is my last line of defence when it comes to publishing these posts, and the reason that this jibberish that I throw down on here is even readable.

One of my favourite shots of her. So happy and beautiful

I love to watch her read certain posts, to gauge her reaction, and I love seeing the fluctuation of emotion in her face. It’s those times where I know I did it right. Again, I’m not trying to boast, but sometimes I feel really good about what I do. I know that it’s not saving the world or anything, but it’s something that I love, and when I write a post that makes me proud, whether anyone reads it or not, I get such a feeling of accomplishment. I have never got that feeling so strong from any other thing I’ve done. I’ve always been just mediocre at everything. Just enough to get by, that was my motto. In a way I am like that with blogging, but it just seems like the right thing to do here.

Anyhow, Gadget and I had a big day at Sebastard’s birthday for an hour, and we have a bit of a day tomorrow, so I’m outta here with just one more question.


But she has faith in me, and so I go on trying faithfully,


Jul 06

Now for the stuff I’ve wanted to say

Yeah, There’s some minor stuff that’s been adding up.

First off, there’s


Dude Write
I won the


Dude Write
 for my story about Paul, my brother, and drinking at the cabin. The competition was really stiff (for me anyhow), and a really great post by ken- inatractor won the Diamond man card. It is a letter to his son on his graduation, and it’s from the hand of a very proud dad. It brought tears to my eyes, and I’m sure it will bring at least one to yours.

Dude write has introduced a new challenge, and it is to write a flash fiction story. It’s open to anyone with a penis and an idea, and I would recommend that all of the males that read this should go and write a very short story. The rules are simple, and on the page that is linked above. I’ve never written any of these stories, or any fiction really, but I’m pretty excited about this. If you would like to write something, but don’t have a place to publish it, I’d be happy to put it on here for you (and me). It never hurts to have more content, right?

Anyhow, go over there, read some stories, and go back on Monday and vote. Easy-peasy, right? Right.

Hey, did you notice that there is a donate button off to the right that looks like this? Continue reading

Jul 03

What a Happy Canada Day Weekend

Yes, it most certainly was.

We headed down to Hastings on Friday night for a visit with Gadget, Penny, Juice, Armando, and a herd of others that have no code names. There was beer and margaritas, Dr. Pepper and whiskey, and a stolen golf cart, but at least no one got hurt.

Sometimes the booze is so good, he looks like this.

Blue came along for the ride, and was surprisingly good. Well, good for Blue. He didn’t bark too much, and he provided a lot of entertainment as we would get drunk and watch him run to the end of the line and then look confused as to why he can’t go any further. It would be nice if we could let him run free, but he’d be like Yogi Bear with the picnic baskets, except for not as smart and he would probably just shred up the garbage and leave the food there. Continue reading