For this Therapy Thursday we have the lovely Lady E from the blog: Adventures in Estrogen. If you haven’t checked out her blog, you should do that now. I’m hoping that she will make a regular stop here, because I think that her style and sense of humour fit well with the general feeling of chaos that we have around here on a regular basis. I want to welcome her with open arms, and an outstretched penis, and I hope you will do the same. Well, if you have a penis. If not, maybe let her rub a tit or something. Oh, and GET PICTURES.
I recently become a father for the first time 2 months ago. Around a month before this, the mother of my child ended our relationship. This came completely out of the blue to me as there were no signs that anything was wrong. I attributed it to depression etc. Anything to rationalise it and convince myself it was temporary. I’ve since realised that, although she has told me I did nothing wrong and she acted solely on her feelings about the future, it was not a temporary thing and there genuinely is nothing more for us.
I’ve not had any sexual contact with anyone since this happened. The thought of it does not appeal to me, I feel incapable of differentiating between sex and making love and I don’t see myself ever loving anyone ever again the way I loved her. I don’t honestly see myself ever being able to be happy again.
I realise it’s early days but, how do you recommend I move my life forward when at the moment the idea of sex really does not appeal?
I was a little speechless when I first got your letter, mostly because I can relate perhaps a little too well. It was going to be impossible to avoid all the reassuring clichés of encouragement with this situation, since it’s our initial go-to in our best attempt at being genuinely sympathetic. Let’s get them out of the way, shall we?
“It gets better with time.”
“Time heals all wounds.”
“There’s plenty of fish in the sea.”
“There’s light at the end of the tunnel.”
Blah, blah, motherfucking blah. Continue reading