A friend of a friend

You know what I’m talking about, right? Everyone has them. Somebody that you don’t know very well, but they are friends with some friend of yours. Maybe they are in a different “group”, or another facet of your friend’s life, and it’s almost like you know them, but you don’t. You always figure that you’ll have all kinds of chances for that meeting to happen, that special time to get to know this amazing person that you always hear so much about. Well, I’m here to tell you that sometimes that day never comes, so get off your ass.

Seriously, tell your mutual friend that you want to meet this fabulous person for a coffee, a tea, or a dozen margaritas. If your friend isn’t a jealous freak that doesn’t want anyone to meet their friends, just in case they like you better, then there should be no problem. I’m just suggesting this because such a person passed away last Thursday, and I have some regrets.

I do this thing when someone dies in the community I’m in, or was in, where I try to link myself to them in my head. It’s not a sympathy thing by any means, but just a way to feel connected. I do it all the time. Someone could say that old Tom at the hardware store had a heart attack, and I would immediately think of the people I know that were friendly with Tom. I would recall what those folks thought of him, and how reputable their judgement in character might be. I would then start to feel a deep sense of sorrow for those people that were maybe Tom’s poker buddies every Tuesday, or maybe they played darts at the legion. Whatever the case may be, I do this on a regular basis. I guess it’s probably just a glitch in my wiring that makes me do it, but it’s something that I do, and it’s hard to break some habits that really don’t hurt anyone anyhow.

When I think about it, this special lady has too many links to even start to mention any. It’s massive. Everyone loved her, and I mean everyone. I haven’t ever heard one derogatory statement attached to her name, even before she passed. Not one, and I know a lot of people, a lot of whom are mouthy and opinionated. She was someone I had always hoped I’d get to party with.

Well, I guess I did, once. It was last Halloween at Gadget’s party. I didn’t know a lot of the folks around at the time, but Mrs. B, Scooter and I all went over and joined in the festivities. We had fun that night, and I mean the kind of fun where you are still smiling through the massive hangover the next morning. The kind of fun where you thought you just fit in perfectly. We had several meetings in the basement, we tried guessing who the people were, we made some really good friends, and we met Julie. We didn’t know we had met her until quite a while after that night. Mostly because she was having quite a sport of making us guess who she was, and laughing whenever I would try. I think it was because she knew that we had never met, but wouldn’t let on to me. She kept on teasing me, taunting me to try and remember her, and then laughing when I couldn’t. I was having great fun trying though, because that’s the way I am. I got pretty drunk that night, and don’t remember what happened to her and Mike, or anyone really, but I remember going home in Dawanda‘s SUV, crammed into the back with a case of beer. Oh wait, nope, that was another time. This must have been someone else’s van.

It was Halloween. You never know when you'll run into a werewolf

It wasn’t until a few months later, when I had come back from out west for Christmas, that I found out that we had met her and Mike at the Halloween party. I think we were at Dora and Swiper’s NYE Bash at the Mancave when we were told that Julie and Mike were having a party as well, so I blurted out that I still hadn’t got to meet them, and that I didn’t think it was fair. I was told that I had met them at the Halloween party, and then it was explained who they were. Now I got it. She was the super fun chick that it turns out I didn’t know in the first place.

That was when I was told that she was sick, and how amazing of a person she was… by everyone. It’s one thing when a few people tell you something, but completely another when all of your good friends, that you think of in high regard, are telling you this. You kind of know it’s true then, and not just people saying it because a person is sick. It wasn’t that they just knew her and liked her, they considered her a dear friend, and they truly loved her. You could see it in the pain on their faces at the thought of losing her. They talked about her amazing husband that loved her so much. I felt like I needed to meet them, for real, sometime, and I was told that I would for sure, and then we all got hammered and said the C word a lot on video, and Gadget gave me some truly disgusting tattoos, and then I went back out west.

I never got the chance to meet her. I’ve been home for over a month, and other than the trip and the whole death in the family thing, I have just been sitting on my C, and tapping away at these keys. I didn’t even try to wangle a meeting. I didn’t think I had to. Maybe she wouldn’t have wanted to meet me anyhow, or perhaps she was too sick, but the fact remains that I wanted to, and I didn’t make the effort, so now I won’t get the chance and it’s my loss. If her sense of humour was as good as it was on Halloween, I am pretty sure we would have got along great. I missed the boat, and I can’t change that, but I can start to wangle a chance meeting with her hubby, and from what I hear, he’s pretty fantastic too.

So go and meet these elusive people that you feel might be a kindred spirit, a drinking buddy, or even a partner for bank robberies, and see what life holds for you and them. You may end up brawling in the front yard at two in the morning because you thought they said your mother was a whore, or you may be bosom buddies, either way it should make for some good stories about the time you were a crazy friend stalker with a hearing problem.

I hate graveyards and old pawn shops, Lord they always bring me tears,


19 thoughts on “A friend of a friend

  1. I think this is one of the reasons I am so looking forward to coming for the wedding. I finally get to meet all the wonderful people in your life. I feel like I know them a little already from the blog. I am sure Gadget and Scooter and I can make great trouble together.

    Sending much love and hugs to you and everyone who knew Julie.

    • Am I going to have to explain to whatever family is still speaking to you, that you are in an Ontario jail? I hope not!

      • I’ll be sure to give you my parents phone number.

        Actually, better make it Tasha’s.

        Actually, better make it Myrna’s.

        Actually, you may have to bail me out. I don’t think the others would. LOL

  2. Chris. I am very sorry for the family and friends of Julie. I also did not know her and have heard wonderful things about her. Life is too short, you should go and grab whatever and whoever your little heart desires. It’s hard to take the amount of pain that goes on around you. My heart goes out to all that loved this lovely LADY.

  3. This is good advice. There are a few people that came to my mind while reading this. There really is no reason to sit around and wait for some serendipitous event to bring me to meet/get to know these people, so why not just put myself out there?

    I’m sorry for your loss, however distant.

    • You got it, buddy. Now hop in your car, and get up here. I promise I won’t call the border and tell them you smuggle oxycontin in your bunghole.

      • Do not believe this for a second, Youngman Brown. He will definitely call the border, tell them about the oxy, AND then post bail and take you home where you will do his bidding. How do you think I got here…?


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