What A Weekend! Part 1

Wow. A lot of shit happened since Friday. I wish I could remember it all, but with the booze and the lack of sleep, I am missing parts of it. Luckily they are the parts where I was checking Swiper’s dog to see if he was neutered, banging the Russian hooker (mop) in the corner, and eating three (eleven) cheeseburgers before puking in the bushes (Shifter’s hair). My real bachelor party was on Friday night, and it was great (post coming soon). My father and brother Larry came out for a bit, which was really cool. I like hanging out with Dad, especially when it’s just a guy environment. He’s really funny, especially when there is no restrictions on language, volume, or class. My other brother Larry was home with his very pregnant wife, so we’ll cut him some slack for not being there. Today is the due date, so let’s all keep our fingers crossed, because it kind of sounded like she didn’t want to be pregnant anymore.

In other sadexciting news, I am switching morning shows on the radio.

It’s true. I have found another morning show, with almost all of the same people as my (up until Friday) favourite show. It’s true that the host’s voice isn’t as deep, but this guy’s pretty funny too, and the rest of the crew is still the same. Megan, Joe, and IngaRhonda will still be cracking wise, but they’ll be doing it with Joel Scott, instead of that other fellow, who will remain nameless because it hurts me too much to see it in type. I’ll still be able to hear that golden, lulling baritone on the commercials, so at least it won’t be a total loss for me.

It turns out that Star 93.3 is in the same building as 107.9 The Breeze, so they in fact, can utilize many of the same crew, at a fraction of the cost of two entirely separate groups of layaboutsprofessionals. This works in my favour now, because even though I am going to miss hearing “Rag Mama Rag”, “Tokyo”, and “Blinded By The Light” every morning, I will be able to make the shift to Nicki Minaj, Carly Rae Jepsen, and Flo Rida relatively painlessly. It also doesn’t hurt to have two preteen girls, with ipod docks, around you for several hours of the day. It used to, I can’t lie, but you kind of just start accepting the fact that you will be listening to the same song several times a day.

As for Joel Scott, he isn’t so fickle as some other radio hosts, and doesn’t string me along, only to crush me with yet another Facebook unfriending. I’ve always loved him as I love no other man, which is softly, and with a childlike vigour that is reminiscent of when I first realized that you could cut shotgun shells open and make dangerous, yet sometimes functional homemade bombs. Joel is a personal friend, and a really great guy. He’s also funny like a mofo, so that sure helps in his line of work.

My heart is saddened now, so I’ll have to finish today’s post later on this morning. I’m just too emotionally crippled to think about what I did for Mother’s Day, so I’ll go take some more Xanax with some bourbon, and have a little nap.

Rag mama rag, where do you roam, rag mama rag, bring your skinny little body back home,

Birdman

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4 thoughts on “What A Weekend! Part 1

    • You singing Michael Jackson? I hope you are learning a lot, and not just about how cheap the liquor is down there.

  1. I’m glad you had a good bachelor party! I know that post will be hilarious. And, welcome to the land of “pop music.” 🙂

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