Well, We Had A Great Vacation

Yep, the girls were amazing, and never complained or fought once. Well, until we got home that is, but I’ll take it. I am just relieved that they didn’t call my bluff about turning the van around, no matter where we were. I guess they didn’t realize that the trip had already been paid for, and there was no way that I was going to miss going on the Ride Of Steel. I hope they stay that gullible forever.

Wait, not with boys though. They had better not fall for some guy’s bullshit. I know for a fact, that most boys will say anything to get in a girl’s good graces, so to speak. It’s almost like we lose all of our faculties or something, but either way, they will be well learned on that subject by the time they need it.

So we went to Darien Lake, near Buffalo, NY, and it was awesome. If you rent one of their air-conditioned trailers during the week with four people it works out to around $150 per person for two nights of camping and three days of park passes, plus breakfast and supper for your stay. You really can’t beat that.

Another nice thing was that you can walk around the park and drink beer. There’s nothing like watching parents get told that they can’t go on the bumper cars with their kids if they have a beer in their hand. (Penny)

Sir! Please step away from the vehicle and put your hands where I can see them.

Gadget and I went on some rides, and the first one was the Twister, but we called it the Rotisserie Chicken, because some unnamed friends called it that. It did some spinning and shit.

“Let’s go on the Rotisserie Chicken.”
“Okay”

I didn’t want her to fall out, just a boob or two.

Sometimes my legs aren’t as long as other people’s. This is one of those times.

This is either false bravado, or we haven’t done the spinny thing yet.

Must have been some bad enchiladas.

Sometimes I get scared.

While we made it through that one, Gadget didn’t fare so well on The Ride Of Steel. They caught us on their cameras nearing the end of the ride. I think it was on the second whoop-de-do, but I’m not 100% sure of that.

He said it was his job to check. I was standing on my tippy toes.

I may be a little too happy looking.

I tried out the Moto-Coaster, and it was a blast, too.

I loved the acceleration on this one. Well, except for the first time when I sharted from the sudden burst.

While the rides were fun for us, and the kids. This was more our speed, after a few beers.

When you can’t afford a Rascal scooter…

We went on a lot more rides, but for some reason our photographer didn’t want to follow us around the park, capturing our whimsy. Oh, didn’t I tell you there was whimsy? Well there was, pal. So much whimsy.

All together there were four families in our group. The Gadgets, the Unnamed Clan (Seriously, why wouldn’t you want to be documented with code names on this wonderful blog?), and Pissy McTater clan. Ah, the filthy Irish, and their God damned potato eating lifestyle. I don’t care if you did marry into it, you’re Irish now.

It was really a great bunch of people to hang with, because everyone likes to drink. Well, I wasn’t drinking the first night, because of some dehydration from too much sun and beer, with no actual water intake. Yes, I may have gone to bed at 7PM with a handful of tylenol and a couple bottles of water. The nice thing about dehydration is that you don’t need to have a piss very often, and that means a more restful sleep.

The second night was good, because I stayed up until well after 10PM and drank a few beer around the fire.

Our actual fire. It seems better than a stock fire photo.

The kids also played with sparklers, while Mrs. B played with her camera.

Of course the sparkliest motherfucker in the world got in on the grand spectacle with a few tricks he learned in ‘Nam.

Flame on, Gadget.

Short lived, but a great finale.

I think we are going to go for three nights next year, and we found out that you can buy a stick for your rollercoaster pics instead of having to pay $10 for every one. That’s great news, because sometimes we like to multitask and get some other stuff done while we go on rides, and now we will be able to afford to show you too.

To recap: Darien Lake is a great value, and we are already planning next year’s trip. It’s only 4-5 hours away, and everyone had a blast. Plenty of stuff for both kids, and adults, and you get fireworks and a laser show every night.

The breakfast was slow, but good, lunches at the Boardwalk were not worth the $10 that they were charging, but the free pizzas were quite good, and that was all that really mattered. For anyone who doesn’t feel like packing food into the park, there are plenty of restaurants, and a pretty well equipped general store on premises, with lots of cold beer, food, and other assorted trinkets. They also carry these fucking things

People pay $2.49 to eat this shit.

I would recommend going on Monday or Tuesday, and coming back before the weekend, just to avoid the line ups. By Monday we could walk onto pretty much any ride, and if there was a wait, it was usually less than ten minutes.

All in all, an excellent vacation spot for families that live relatively close, and can drive there in half a day.

My heart was flyin’ up like a rocket ship, down like a roller coaster,

Birdman

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9 thoughts on “Well, We Had A Great Vacation

  1. Someone should pay you a lot of money for this post because you just totally made me want to go there.

    Also, I thought you were saying that you had to have a beer to go on the bumper cars. (It’s late.) That only somewhat contributed to my desire to go.

    • I totally agree about them paying me. When you book, tell them where you read about them, and that we want to be comped a free slushee cup and unlimited refills. Oh, and you can’t take your beer on the bumper cars, but you do have to chug it before you drive. Seems logical to me.

  2. Having the extra day would have been great – to have the photographer chick foloow us around, taking proof of our whimsy! I can barely remember the most fun rides of all – Bucky’s Barrels, Critter chase to name a few and who could forget the Moose on the Loose! oh the joy in your eye! Can’t wait till next year!
    More thoughts and ideas for the roller-coaster pics!
    Gadget

  3. This post made me crave summertime… even though it is summertime.

    So that is saying something.

    I also want to say that I feel bad for that guy all by himself in the rollercoaster. I need to dig up my family portrait from when I was eight years old and going down Splash Mountain in Disney World. There was a kid on our log (yes I know that sounds weird) who had a shirt that read “Never sneeze and fart at the same time.” I actually used a magnifying glass to figure read it.

    And speaking of DISNEY WORLD, which I am a huge fan of… I can TOTALLY see Mickey Mouse ears in the “Flame on, Gadget” photo. It is a sign that you must take the kiddies there.

    • I think it’s Disney in the spring, buddy. Maybe we will be able to stop by for a pint on the way through. You can climb into the back of the van with the kiddies. That sounds pretty creepy, but they will like you, and maybe they will let you watch movies with them. I love the “never sneeze and fart” sentiment, and I feel bad for the alone kid too, but at least his feet touch the floor.

    • Eeee! I’m a HUGE Disney fan too. I’ve been numerous times as I was growing up. My hubby and I have been to Disney World 4 times together so far and we’ve been to Disney Land once (we didn’t like it as much as DW). Just had to bust up in this piece to share.

  4. It sounds like y’all had fun. I love the pics… especially creepy guy on the Rotisserie Chicken ride. Y’all should’ve invited him into your group. Then again, probably best y’all didn’t. I bet he’s a serial killer.

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