(I want to thank Brandon from My Own Private Idaho for this awesomely awesome post. I should have put it up before, but because we are having such a great time here, I didn’t check my mail much at all. Sorry. Anyhow, here it is, and make sure you go and read his very excellent blog when you’re done here. Okay, it’s bedtime. Good night.)
Since the Birdman is on vacation in Amurrrrica, I thought I would shed some light on American culture to my Canadian friends (and vice versa).
For example, not all Americans are morbidly obese.
Just most of us. Compared to a lot of other ‘Murricans, I’m a svelte 250.
I’m not fat, I’m curvy. *cue up ‘I’m sexy and I know it’*
Yes, we are the land of the free and the home of the Whopper, where obesity is genetic but homosexuality is a choice, but DON’T YOU DARE take away our freedom to gorge ourselves! Life, liberty, and a 59-cent super-size!
If anything, you’d think it would be the opposite. Canada is farther North and much colder, and the extra layers would help keep you warm…
Another stereotype that I would like to disprove: Not all of us are country-music listening, tobacco chewing, AR15 brandishing rednecks.
Again, it’s just most of us. Just because we’re looking at changing our official motto to “This is America: SPEAK ENGLISH” doesn’t mean we’re all ignorant and self-centered.
I love my country. I really do. But I recognize I am not the center of the universe.
Hell, the US is not even the center of the world anymore. The world’s economy (unfortunately) orbits around China. If we measured world rank by the number of rappers and ‘bling’ however, we’d still be a solid #1.
But us Americans aren’t the only one that can be pigeon-holed…
For example, I’m fairly certain that you Nukkies are more than Hockey and beavers.
And I’m sure that, if I went down on a Canadian woman, she wouldn’t ‘taste’ like maple syrup…
(or would she? I’m intrigued now…)
Canada has given the world celebrities like Pam Anderson and
Justin Bieber Celine Dion Eugene Levy, and great Canadian comedy like The Kids in the Hall.
Oh, and Scott Pilgrim vs The World. Epic movie, even if I giggled when I heard someone say “a-boot.”
I also know that Canada is more than just frozen tundra and herds of mooses (meeses? moose?).
Although, some of the Canadian moose-related stories seem like they fit the stereotype well…
I would like to take this opportunity to help break the border. To extend an olive branch to my Canadian friends, and to help us become stronger neighbors.
With all the woes of the world, we should be working together. We should be allies, and stand united as one voice to the world.
…just as long as we can still make fun of Mexico…