Trophy Hunters-The Game

birdmandesk

So I follow Ricky Gervais on Twitter, and he recently had a go at a trophy hunter on there.

  He posted this later. I suppose to explain his stance.

 And this one, which resonates with me.  

It’s a well documented spat, and it’s getting people pretty heated on both sides of the debate. Although I don’t agree with trophy hunting at all; I also don’t agree with shooting trophy hunters and raping their children, which is apparently what some people have threatened Rebecca Francis with since this feud began.

That’s just wrong.

It’s not her children’s fault that she’s their mother. It’s her parent’s fault. As for killing her, I think that I’ve come up with a (probably) legal solution to everybody’s dilemmas.

Wait for it………

A trophy hunter video game!

Yes, I know that there are plenty of trophy hunting video games on the market, but is there one that allows you to hunt other trophy hunters?

Picture it:

You could follow the hunter’s convoy from the guide’s place and sneak in after them. Once they stop for lunch and the trackers go on up ahead, you affix your silencer and begin your prone position crawl through the underbrush to where you can take the *fingers crossed* lethal shot and still have time to get the professional hunter and the trophies of your kill.

Oh yeah, there’s trophies.

Of course you need to mummify it. They will stink if you don't.

Of course you need to mummify it. They will stink if you don’t.

Once you get them mummified, you can add them to your collection.

If you drill out the core and add a stick of graphite, you will have a pretty unique pencil.

If you drill out the core and add a stick of graphite, you will have a pretty unique pencil.

I think that it will work out pretty good if we can get the animal rights people going on it. I’d give 90% of the yearly profits could go to VETPAW and Cruelty Free International, with the other 10% going to development of new games. What do you think about Backyard Breeder Beat Down for a title? It has a nice ring to it. Maybe the third could be called Matador Mayhem, where you get to hide outside of the bullfight ring and jump the bullfighters when they try to leave.

They sound awesome, right? I thought so too.1)Does anyone know any game developers? I have the ideas, but that’s about it.

While we’re on the subject of justice, did you hear about Ian Gibson, the professional hunter that was trampled by a bull elephant that he was tracking?

It’s true. I almost gave a shit about him when I read that it was a gruesome scene, but then I went back to eating licorice and wrestling with the dog. I think that it’s quite a fitting end. I hope that if I can’t get myself shot while jumping in front some innocent people at a drive by, that I will get gored by a moose as I’m lining up a shot on his father.

Circle of life, yo.

Birdman

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Awesome footnotes   [ + ]

1. Does anyone know any game developers? I have the ideas, but that’s about it.

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