The Time I Tried To Make Money As A Day Trader

This was one of those times when I just knew I was going to get rich, because one of the operators for an oil company told me that they had hit a huge pocket and production was going to go through the roof. He was going out to buy as many shares as he could.

My vision

Holy shit, me too. I thought to myself. I want in on some of that action. I went home and opened up a day trading account at my bank and bought a few thousand dollars worth of their stock. (Hey, I was a single oilfield worker at the time. I had good cheques coming in.

Unfortunately this account came with traders that were not allowed to advise you on anything.

Now I’m poor. Not because of that. I’ve pissed away a lot more than that, just on pizza. I lost over half of it though, so I’m still a little pissy about day trading. I just looked at the stock price today, and it’s about where I left it six years ago, so I wouldn’t have made it back anyhow.

My reality. Without the skeevy sideburns.

I don’t know how some people make any money at this, but apparently they do. I saw Timothy Sykes’s best penny stock picks on the internet, and he claims:

He Turned $12,415 into $2,850,000

Yeah? Well can you give me the $12,415 so I can have a go at it then? I don’t know about all of this “free money”, but I’d like a little bit of it. Send it my way, please.

Birdman

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6 thoughts on “The Time I Tried To Make Money As A Day Trader

  1. Ha! You see, you’re doing it all wrong. You need to do what I did. First, you find a banker who represents a member of the Nigerian royal family, then you send him your bank account information, and then they give you lots of money! It’s just that simple!

    • I don’t have much left, what with my uncle getting his luggage stolen in London, and him sending me the email, needing £3500 to pay his hotel bill, and get a boat home. He was embarrassed and didn’t want me to tell anyone. No doubt he was embarrassed. He was probably robbed by a hooker. Oh well, I Western Unioned him the money about 4 months ago, but boats probably travel slow, and that’s why I haven’t heard back.

  2. I hate being poor. I need to find a sugar daddy. I’ve told The Hubster that he’s my sweet ‘n’ low since we’re not rich. 🙂

    • Haha, Sweet n Low daddy. That’s funny. I could probably hook you up with some more of them. I think 4 sweet n lows are equal to one sugar daddy, right?

  3. My husband ordered tapes YEARS ago on how to get rich on real estate without spending a penny.

    The only one that got rich was the dude selling us the videotapes for like 100 dollars back then.

    • Yeah, I fell for something like that, but it was a “Make money at home with your computer, copying disks and documents”. When I sent my $55, they sent me a letter and a disk, and on the disk was a text file with the same message as the letter. It said to place ads in local newspapers exactly like the ad that I had read, and for everyone that sent in money, send them a copy of the disk and letter. Have you commented before, Alexandra? I found this comment in my spam, and just wondered how many have gone through where I didn’t catch them?

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