Therapy Thursday

Dear Therapy Thursday,

Recently a friend of mine posted a questionable sign/photo/thing on her facebook wall. Some of her family went crazy on her for posting it. They were basically calling her a bad mother and telling her how to raise her kids. I didn’t really think to much of it at the time but when I saw all those people complaining about her daughters and other young people seeing it I wondered if maybe I was a bad mom for not thinking about that. Heres a copy of it.

What I want to know is does this picture pose a threat to my 11 and 14 year old daughters? What about my 9 year old son? I just thought they were being really hard on her for what this is, but I might be wrong.

Confused In Cobourg

Dear Confused: I’m on the fence with this one. I don’t know your friend’s circumstances, how old her kids are, or how she has raised them. Maybe they don’t even know what a muff is, but they really should have come across the term or concept by the time they are in grade seven or eight. Your nine and eleven year olds shouldn’t be on Facebook anyhow, seeing as you aren’t allowed to have an account until you’re 13. If you have allowed them to use the sewer of all social media sites before then, I would hope that you are monitoring what they have access to.

I’m not saying to not let them see anything, but as their mother, you should know what each individual child is ready for. You should have already explained to them that the internet is a place full of different ideas, people, pictures, etc… They should know that just because they see something (like the muff picture above, or a public beheading), that it doesn’t mean it’s real, true, or the right thing. Some kids are more mature than others when it comes to sexuality, and the muff pic might be titillating and a good giggle for them. Seeing someone get their head cut off, that might scar them for life, but not have that effect on some other kid of the same age.

I guess what I’m saying is that parents need to police the internet to varying degrees for their children. I have the blog set to 18+, the Facebook page is 17+, and you have to be 18 to get a G+ account, so I have done what I can do to prevent children from coming across it’s feculence. If their parents don’t put a lock on their computers, I can’t be blamed. I have two profiles on Facebook with my name. One is for adults, and the other is made just for kids, but adults keep adding it too. I rarely go on there and never swear or anything like that. I personally wouldn’t put the muffvember picture up on it, because I have another profile more suited for that type of post.

You who are on the road, must have a code, that you can live by,

Birdman

 

Dear Confused,

First of all, what the fuck business of it is anybody else? If you have a problem with what somebody writes on their wall, either take them off of your news feed or friend list. Don’t go getting all preachy and shit to someone about how they use their fucking Facebook. That’s just plain cunty. It’s their place to write what they want to write and if you think they are a bad parent, pull them aside and tell them to their fucking face. It’s a cartoony drawing of a moustache on a cartoony beaver. Should your kid see it? How the fuck should I know? I don’t know your fucking kid, nor do I want to know the little bastard.

The fact of the matter is that all the uppity fuckers that are going on about her raising her kid right are probably just looking out for her, but because they are awkward assholes, they don’t know that preaching and ostracizing only drives people further the other way. If they would practice diplomacy and realise that your friend has a different way to raise her kids, and while it may not be your ideal way, it’s her’s and she has the right to do it her way, as long as it’s not hurting anyone.

Personally, I’d love to see a muffstache. I’d blow that motherfucker a super, give it a shot of tequila, and then go at it with the jazz hands. Let love reign, bitches.

Smarty

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10 thoughts on “Therapy Thursday

  1. Wow, that was a really great question.

    I mean, I don’t have kids, but I definitely think that I would keep them off the internet for as long as possible. There is so much wonderful stuff out there, knowledge and all. And then there is some vicious stuff out there too. All easily acceptable.

    I don’t think that the image in the post was bad. But my God there is some bad stuff out there.

    • Yes, there really is some horrific shit on the internet. Take this blog for instance. I wouldn’t want a kid reading it. Sure, for the most part, it’s not too bad, but would you want your kid knowing who Smarty is? I wouldn’t.

      When I was a kid, we built forts in the woods and shot pigeons with our pellet guns. (I should probably do a post on that, so people don’t think it was just for fun.) I wish all kids could find the kind of fun that we did in the outdoors, but it’s a different world now.

  2. First of all I agree, the kids should not be on FB at all until 13. period. at that point you have their pw and username and YOU can approve their friends. That is my rule. I post some risque things but I also know that walls can be set to only show certain things. I think what the woman posted might be on the edge but when explaining that it is about saving a life that takes precedence. I would have to ask if these same finger pointers joined in on the color/ shoe size thing that was posted to draw attention to breast cancer awareness. Sounds harmless until you realize they only put things like black 9.. leaving lots of things open to interpretation, so how is that any less suggestive than the picture.

  3. I have resisted contributing to the Therapy Thursday in this post, as I know most of the involved parties. I think both sides have valid arguments. However, where this situation breaks down is the point where one person insists their viewpoint is morally superior to everyone else’s and therefore correct. To some degree, morality comes into play here, and children should not be exposed to information that is inappropriate or harmful. On the other hand, I find lots of inappropriate humour funny, mostly because I have a pretty diverse sense of humour. I’d like my children to develop a pretty diverse sense of humour (and series of experiences) if possible. When I really think about it, I have to admit, how one person chooses to shape their pubic hair, although ridiculous, isn’t really a problem I need to concern myself with. If this is the worst that my kids will see, I’ll fall down on my knees to thank (insert respective deity here) that they have been so sheltered. In fact, this is NOT the most offensive thing they will hear/see, and in another way it contributes to the idea that our bodies (and our pubic hair choices) are somehow bad or shameful. I just don’t believe that. I have to constantly remind myself that things that make me ‘uncomfortable’ may actually not be inappropriate for my children to see/hear. Just because I cringe at the thought of them becoming sexually aware (in appropriate stages) doesn’t mean there is any problem whatsoever with that process. I may not like it, but if I don’t get on board and explain and discuss the things they see/hear, I am contributing to them being raised in an environment that doesn’t welcome discussion or even acknowledgement of things that make me uncomfortable. If this meme was about explicit sexual activity, or intolerance of someone race or sexual identity, I’d be all over the public flogging of the offender. In this case, I think we need to step back, and remember that this is not really a problem that deserves this kind of reaction.

  4. I know the person who posted this… I didn’t think it was bad. It’s up to us individually to monitor what our kids are seeing. I thoughts the nasty comments were much worse and much more damaging than the original post

  5. It’s worth noting that if you don’t like people ragging on you for posting mildly objectionable material, simply respond by sending them REALLY objectionable material. They’ll stop talking shit to you. They may even stop talking to you altogether, which seems like a win to me.

  6. First, Muffvember should be a year-round event, as long as they’re kept somewhat neat. Or does Muffvember mean they shave them to look like a moustache? I may not like that. Anyway, it’s nice to see lady parts that look like they’re the appropriate age. Second… ummm… dammit, there was a second too. I’m distracted thinking about muffvember!

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