Dear Therapy Thursday,
Recently a friend of mine posted a questionable sign/photo/thing on her facebook wall. Some of her family went crazy on her for posting it. They were basically calling her a bad mother and telling her how to raise her kids. I didn’t really think to much of it at the time but when I saw all those people complaining about her daughters and other young people seeing it I wondered if maybe I was a bad mom for not thinking about that. Heres a copy of it.
What I want to know is does this picture pose a threat to my 11 and 14 year old daughters? What about my 9 year old son? I just thought they were being really hard on her for what this is, but I might be wrong.
Confused In Cobourg
Dear Confused: I’m on the fence with this one. I don’t know your friend’s circumstances, how old her kids are, or how she has raised them. Maybe they don’t even know what a muff is, but they really should have come across the term or concept by the time they are in grade seven or eight. Your nine and eleven year olds shouldn’t be on Facebook anyhow, seeing as you aren’t allowed to have an account until you’re 13. If you have allowed them to use the sewer of all social media sites before then, I would hope that you are monitoring what they have access to.
I’m not saying to not let them see anything, but as their mother, you should know what each individual child is ready for. You should have already explained to them that the internet is a place full of different ideas, people, pictures, etc… They should know that just because they see something (like the muff picture above, or a public beheading), that it doesn’t mean it’s real, true, or the right thing. Some kids are more mature than others when it comes to sexuality, and the muff pic might be titillating and a good giggle for them. Seeing someone get their head cut off, that might scar them for life, but not have that effect on some other kid of the same age.
I guess what I’m saying is that parents need to police the internet to varying degrees for their children. I have the blog set to 18+, the Facebook page is 17+, and you have to be 18 to get a G+ account, so I have done what I can do to prevent children from coming across it’s feculence. If their parents don’t put a lock on their computers, I can’t be blamed. I have two profiles on Facebook with my name. One is for adults, and the other is made just for kids, but adults keep adding it too. I rarely go on there and never swear or anything like that. I personally wouldn’t put the muffvember picture up on it, because I have another profile more suited for that type of post.
First of all, what the fuck business of it is anybody else? If you have a problem with what somebody writes on their wall, either take them off of your news feed or friend list. Don’t go getting all preachy and shit to someone about how they use their fucking Facebook. That’s just plain cunty. It’s their place to write what they want to write and if you think they are a bad parent, pull them aside and tell them to their fucking face. It’s a cartoony drawing of a moustache on a cartoony beaver. Should your kid see it? How the fuck should I know? I don’t know your fucking kid, nor do I want to know the little bastard.
The fact of the matter is that all the uppity fuckers that are going on about her raising her kid right are probably just looking out for her, but because they are awkward assholes, they don’t know that preaching and ostracizing only drives people further the other way. If they would practice diplomacy and realise that your friend has a different way to raise her kids, and while it may not be your ideal way, it’s her’s and she has the right to do it her way, as long as it’s not hurting anyone.