When we last saw our heroes, they were about to be flabbergasted by Wicklow’s second finest in adult entertainment. Apparently Dawanda was busy with the curling bonspiel in Brighton, so Gadget had to step up to the plate and knock it out of the park. He actually kept in character quite well, but I don’t know why he was talking like Natasha from Rocky and Bullwinkle. Oh well, I guess you need to separate yourself from the role you’re playing. I tell you, I was surprised, but really happy to see my soupair buddy again, but I don’t think any of my other pals felt the same. It seems they get a little protective of me, and don’t understand the special bond that Gadget and I have. I don’t want to say that they get jealous, but if they think that I might like someone else, they immediately band together, then they crouch and pounce on the unsuspecting victim.
Anyhow, let’s get going with the story at hand.
This is how we left off at the end of last week
Wait!!! It just occurred to me that maybe you are new here, and didn’t realize that there is a Part One, and a Part Two to this story. If you have actually been following this, then carry on for crissakes.
(G) Hallo boys, is very nice, no? (B) Oh, is very nice.
(F) He's actually not the worst stripper I've ever seen. (G) I remember you, you are bad boy. (B) Yes, I'm very bad.
(J) Jesus, Frenchy, What the fuck? (F) I just need to see if they are real.
(S) That's one Sluggo looking bitch. (J) Who the fuck is Sluggo? (S) You know, from the Nancy comic strip. This dude right here.
(J) Oh yeah, that guy.
(B) Jesus, what smells like bison meat and Drakkar Noir? (G) Oops I maybe pooped a little in my thong
(G) Who gets first lap dance? (B) I guess it's me. Whoa there, hitting is never the answer
(J) Fuck that, hit him. He's making me sick. (B) Leave him alone, it's not his fault. We ate some bad pork on vacation
(S) Fine, you don't want me to hit him? How about I choke a bitch then? (G) Aaaack!
(G) Why you are hurting Gadgetina? (B) Wait, we can work things out. Please come back.
Sadly, he did not get the chance to come back. The cameraman clotheslined him before he got six feet, and then the savage beating began.
(S) Get him boys. Dirty pants shitter. (J) Oh man, I got some of it on me. Luckily this shirt will protect me from disease.
(B) Pleeeeeease, don't hurt him. He doesn't deserve this.
(B) Stop it, you're killing him. You're all MONSTERS!!!
(G) I only want to make people happy inside of their heart. (J) You made me question my sexuality. Now you die.
(B) Is that what this is all about? You guys feel weird about enjoying another man's sexiness? (S) Uh, no. It's because he uh... shit his pants
(B) You liar, no one beat you for nshitting your pants last Easter. That is it! You are afraid that if you like watching another man undress, that it will make you gay. (J) Well... I... Uh...
(B) Just stop it. It's okay to love another man. It doesn't make you gay, and even if it did, that's alright too. Are you guys really that worried about turning gay?
(S) Well, my priest says that even seeing another man's dink means you go to hell. Well, except his. (F) I just like beating helpless strippers.
(J) Yeah, my pa said that if I even go near a naked man, he'll whup me.
(B) Don't be stupid. Just because I've seen Gadget with less clothing than I've ever seen another man in, doesn't make me gay. It just means that we are really comfortable around each other.
(B) Also, it's okay to explore your feelings of sexuality. If you love being with a man in a romantic way, then you shouldn't deny yourself that chance for happiness. No matter what your church says.
I'm so sick of people dictating how other people should live (Rick Santorum). You just worry about you, and let them worry about them.
(J) You know what? You're right. (S) Gadget has never done anything to us, and I feel ashamed of the way we acted. (F) We're sorry Gadget. Please forgive us, and our backwoods thinking. (G) Please, call me Gadgetina.
The moral of this story was brought to you in a round-a-bout way by everyone at Change The Topic. Show some love, and you'll be surprised at the friends you'll make. You never know, one of them might save your life one day.
Disclaimer- Gadget didn’t really shit his thong, although he was probably wearing one. He’s a fan of the Wicked Weasels.
Well, a cowboy may brag about things that he’s done with his women, but the ones who brag loudest are the ones that are most likely queer,