Feb 22

I’m Getting All Mouthy Again

mindofbirdman

Yep. Brandon from My Own Private Idaho was looking for guest posters, because he finds that he is getting a little swamped right now.

Hey Brandon, if you’d just hire a driver, you could write and post while in between cities. Problem solved, bitch, and you’re welcome. I’m a time manager. It’s what I do.

Well, until he gets his shit together, we shall continue on. If you remember, a few weeks ago, Brandon helped me out while Mrs. B and I were on vacation. He submitted a funny little piece on strengthening the bond between our countries and it was well received.

I wasn’t quite as kind to him. I chose to voice my opinion on religion!

I know, but when someone says that there are no rules except for no nudity or porn, I tend to do whatever the hell I want. Now, without further ado, here’s the post that you’ve heard so much about from me.

 

Dec 11

Harry Holimas

Will that make you fuckers happy? Everybody is so up in arms about what someone says to them in a gesture of holiday spirit, that they have to post shit on Facebook about how upset and outraged they are.

It’s either keeping Christ in Christmas, Jesus being the reason, or the fact that we live in Canada, so that somehow means that everyone has to go by Christian values and the laws of the bible.

Really, hillbilly? Who the fuck are you welcoming with that statement? Your inbred cousin?

Well we don’t. Continue reading

Dec 05

Is This It?

Is this what we’ve been living for? Money, power, to have the most shit?

I look around me and I am truly frightened by what I see. Maybe I’m wrong, but it’s as if no one cares anymore. I think it has been coming since the 50’s, kind of when people started forgetting about The Great Depression. I guess I shouldn’t say that no one cares, but no one listens to the people who do. Some of the greatest minds of our time have been pointing and saying “This needs to be fixed.”, but everyone just shrugs and thinks that those people are radicals, and they go back to doing whatever they were told to do, by their friends, boss, parents, the media, etc…

I’m sure it does have a nice ride. Hopefully it tosses your salad on the way home as well.

No one wants to listen to the people who say that things need to change. They like how things are going. They like to have such a huge debt load that they feel like hanging themselves when a stack of bills comes in all at once. It’s alright, because in three years the Range Rover will be paid for and then they’ll have an extra $1100 a month, so they should be okay. Well, as long as no one loses their job, the now un-warrantied Range Rover doesn’t break down, or some other hardship befalls them. Then they’re screwed.

Well, I wonder if anyone is paying attention now? George Carlin doesn’t look like such a troublemaker anymore, does he? Frank Zappa’s insane ramblings are maybe not as crazy as you once thought. Most people have been prioritizing things all of their life, but where do you even start nowadays? Continue reading

Nov 27

Oh, Sweet Satan

That’s apparently what Jay-Z, MTV, and every Freemason in the world is saying. Seriously. They are all a satan worshipping cult according to Christopher Hudson, aka TheForeRunner777.

When I decided to do a blog post on that fucking puke kid from Two and a Half Men, I honestly wasn’t expecting to reach a level of crazy that far surpassed Charlie Sheen, but here we are.

So, Angus T. Jones went on record saying that people shouldn’t watch Two and a Half Men because it’s “filth”, and Kathy tweeted the link or something on the Twitter. I was curious, because she had worded it so well, so I went and checked out the videos. They are long and dull, so if you don’t want to torture yourself, glance at the above article for thirty seconds. You’ll figure it all out. Continue reading

Nov 21

Frick

This is one of those stories that I was reminded of tonight by a friend. It takes place in various spots in Northern BC and it involves one of the nicest, most naive men I’ve ever known. His name is Frick, because the motherfricker said it so often. Seriously. The only time he would actually swear, was when he was quoting what someone else had said. The funny thing was that working in the oilfield gave him lots of opportunity to cuss his face off, while never having to actually swear. The first time I was ever in a vehicle with him was really weird. He drove extremely fast on really bad roads, all the while telling me stories with lots of swearing in quotations. I’ll try to demonstrate with Frick in quotation marks and the original quote in italics. Keep in mind that there are quotes inside of quotes, and the entire thing is a quote from Frick Continue reading