Mar 02

I’m Learning Stuff. Reluctantly

fromthemindofbirdman1

So I have been working on a new blog that will talk about our ongoing lifestyle change. It’s going to be about the little things we are doing to get ready for when we can get an acreage and start the off-grid life we have been planning. It will also talk a lot about where we are coming from and the challenges people face when trying to change decades of programming by a rather uncaring society.

This has brought me to a sad conclusion.

I am not as computer literate as I had previously imagined myself.

I’m not saying that I dreamed myself into a life where I could hack corporate websites to give all the profits to the employees or anything, but I figured I had enough knowledge to be able to follow phone directions on what to search for to solve my problem.

I don’t.

It’s possible that it has more to do with my listening and memory skills than my programming ability, but even after all was said and done, I was on the WordPress forums with an improperly worded question that was probably stared at by a dozen people with blank looks on their faces.

Needless to say, I screwed up when I started Change The Topic. I was spending so much time with it, that I never dreamed of having more than one site, so it was never set up properly to accommodate multiple websites. Now I’m trying to do that, and it’s giving me grief.

I called GoDaddy to see what the problem was, and they found it, but it’s outside of their scope of business. I think they have people who do code and programming and all of that, but it isn’t included in the hosting fees, so being poor and also having nothing to do, I opted for learning it on my own. Brian was quite helpful though, as he did a search and found all kinds of help on the subject. He then told me what to search for and I typed it in before I got off the phone with him, so I would remember.

I should say that I partially typed it in.

As I was typing, a text came in from a friend who was bringing my new batch of worms up from Chilliwack, and I suppose that in the excitement, I didn’t finish the Google search.

Fuck you, self diagnosed ADD.

“installing wordpress into a su” was all that was there when I came back to the computer after getting the worms nestled away into their new bedding.

For the life of me I can’t remember what the rest of the search was, so now I’m waiting for someone to respond to my makeshift forum question.

And playing with my worms.

Birdman

Feb 29

God Is Great, Grief Is Good, And Injuns Are Crazy

Originally published December 17th, 2012

mindofbirdman

I’ve had a lot of things on my mind since last week. Newtown was one of them.

Yep, I’m taking the cheap post. I told myself that I wasn’t going to glorify it by even mentioning the occurrence, but it won’t leave me alone, so here we are.

The day after the killing, a friend of mine put this photo up on Facebook with the note: “Well said.”

397171_525227097500893_1486481420_n

This was all it took. Hey, I’m not saying I don’t have issues.

Yep, that was all it was. I really like the guy, too, but at that moment I was just sickened by this shitty message. I didn’t even think about it. I copied it, then pasted it into the blog’s page with a caption about how disgusted I was with it. I then went and deleted him as a friend, because I couldn’t believe he would be so callous as to put this up after such a horrible tragedy. I’m a huge advocate of “If you don’t like me, delete me”, as opposed to I’m going to tell you how wrong you are, because you don’t share my views. Continue reading

Feb 27

It’s Not All About Religion (But It Kind Of Is)

Birdman

As I was scrolling through Google+ this morning I saw some posts by women that are supporting Donald Trump.

That’s the punchline, folks

I can understand the ignorant, white trash, racist males, and possibly the mentally challenged, but I just thought that ladies were brighter than that.

I really wish that everyone was smarter than guacamole, but if we were, people like that would never have had the opportunity to make it into a political party, let alone lead the polls. I am not sure what led to the overall dumbing down of our society, but whatever it is, it needs to change.

I look at people like Sarah and Bristol Palin, who a lot of women seem to genuinely look up to, and I wonder how that came about. It truly shocks me when I think about it.

Take Bristol, for instance. She had a baby out of wedlock, while the whole Palin clan preached family values and the Bible. After the baby was born, she split up with Levi Johnson and became a spokesperson for abstinence. Now she has had another baby out of wedlock and split up with the father of that one as well.

Two babies with two different daddies while preaching the bible and abstinence to the masses should not be a catalyst to fame and fortune via book deals, movie deals, and speaking engagements. She is getting between $15000-$30000 per speaking engagement and I believe $262000 for her work at Candie’s Foundation. None of this is counting her blogging, TV and movie earnings, book deals, or the $380 she made from selling weed behind the Qwikee Mart.1)That last part is a joke that started as her giving handjobs, but I figured I should change it to something that is less likely, in case of a lawsuit, you see.

I guess I am getting off topic.

What it is that women are looking for in their life?

It seems possible that they like oppression, misogyny, and lower wages. At least some of them do. How else can you explain women that vote Republican, and moreover, women who vote Trump?

I’m not saying that men should vote for him either, but at least men have a bit more to gain in the end. Not that I think any actual people would benefit from Trump being the President, but if anyone will, the large majority of them will be men.

Which brings me to religion and how it is still brainwashing women into believing that men are the stronger, smarter, more dominant sex.

2)I know that this book is written from a Christian standpoint, but I think that the fact he condemns the horrible treatment of women in the name of any religion a giant leap, plus he left the Southern Baptist Convention because they outlawed any women holding title in the organisation. His wife and himself had been members since their birth, I believe.

You can’t tell me that the societal norms of today aren’t directly affected by the Bible. I believe that given an equal playing field, women would dominate men in almost every aspect of life. I know that we will still take the blue ribbon in pissing contests (distance only) and maybe any food eating contest, because who would think that eating 69 hot dogs is a good idea, other than a man?

No, I am quite certain that the Bible was written to keep certain demographics in a desired place in the hierarchy, and unless you were one of god’s chosen men, or the mother of little baby Jesus, you were destined to be ruled by another.

What kind of god would want only some of his children to profit off the backs of the others?

Women, get your heads out of your asses and live up to your potential.

Anyhow, that’s how I feel about that.

Birdman

Awesome footnotes   [ + ]

1. That last part is a joke that started as her giving handjobs, but I figured I should change it to something that is less likely, in case of a lawsuit, you see.
2. I know that this book is written from a Christian standpoint, but I think that the fact he condemns the horrible treatment of women in the name of any religion a giant leap, plus he left the Southern Baptist Convention because they outlawed any women holding title in the organisation. His wife and himself had been members since their birth, I believe.
Feb 20

Slip Slidin’ Away

birdmandesk

So after a couple of peaceful days, I was starting to get calmed down. We let the dogs out before bed and then drifted off into a peaceful dreamland.

Until 11:40. That’s when Blue started pacing. I woke up instantly and ran him outside before he started pissing in the bedroom. After letting him back in, we got back into bed and drifted off again.

Until 12:45. That’s when the retching started. Luckily I caught it before there was enough saliva to soak through the sheet into the mattress. I ran him outside and waited for a few minutes, in nothing but my underwear, until he was whining to get back in. I figured that I would put him on the couch, as we just got new bedding that day, and didn’t want it soaked with puke.

As I was walking back to the bedroom I heard the retching again and bolted for the living room to see him with his back arched and mouth wide open. I called for him to come, but he was indisposed, so I picked him up and started running for the hall with him convulsing against my chest.

I thought I was home free until my feet shot out from underneath me and I went backwards, bouncing my head off of the maple dresser that the TV sits on as the dog flew forward down the hall. When I came to, he had just finished upchucking what was left in the middle of the floor. I got up and slipped again falling in front of the door with Dover barking behind it. I think he smelled all of the food on the other side, but was upset that he couldn’t eat it. I let Blue outside and started cleaning the walls and floor with a bath towel that was in the dirty clothes. I went outside and shook the moist kibble out off the deck and went back to get the cleaner and some paper towels to get the rest of the grossness off of everything. After twenty minutes of scrubbing with a splitting headache and what I thought was a broken foot, I let Blue back in and went to the shower to get the mashed nuggets and drying grasses out of my hair and skin.

I crawled into bed at 1:15 to a sleeping wife, who woke up and asked why I showered again. I started to explain, but she was quickly out like a light.

Fast forward to about 7:45 when I heard a shriek. “DOVER PEED ON MY IPAD.”

It figures. Par for the course. Needless to say, I was at the lady’s house where I got Dover’s kennel and bought the bigger one for Blue. They will be learning to enjoy sleeping next to each other in the living room from now on.

Birdman

Jun 05

Not My Night

birdman2

This is the most somber Birdman pic I could find.

I’m having a really shitty go of it this time, but of all shitty days and nights, tonight takes the cake for shittiness. I suppose that I have been extra depressed lately, what with the impending move across the country with my family in a bus, so that multiplies the shit exponentially, but holy fuck, really?

My night started as my work day ended, at about 5:00. I went home and finished watching the video that Mrs. B shared on G+. It was about the cool new ways that students are taught in the school district that the girls will be in next year. I tried to watch it while I was getting loaded at the pit, but it was hard with the rumble of diesels and always having to move ahead, so I went home and crashed into the bed under the ceiling fan to cool down and check out the video.

Then the crying started. Not the same crying as the night before, but still a grown man lying in bed with tears streaming down his face.1)luckily the box of crackers was still on the nightstand.

This was me crying about how much further I might have made it in school if we had as many forward thinkers back then, as they do in this area now, and also because I was so happy that people were finally figuring shit out. It’s been a lot of years with the same mentality towards teaching, and nothing was ever getting better. At least not from my perspective.

Now I think there’s hope. Not for the rest of my night, but for our future as a country.

As I finished blubbering, Johnny called to say that he had made these pizza egg rolls and if I wanted to try them, I had better get down there. I then called my sweetest love in the world, and interrupted the birthday party she was attending. She said that she would call me back, so I headed to Chubbie’s to try out these new tidbits.2)They were fucking delicious.

I then went to work to get my phone charger, and figured I’d see if my little truck would miraculously run now. Nope. Thanks for proving that miracles don’t exist, Jesus.

After that, I was going home to grab a shower and hit the sack early, when Johnny called and asked me to get something out of the freezer to thaw for him, I went home, and then in the spirit of helping a friend, I decided to go drop it off to him to save him the trip.

I should have just stayed home.

When I pulled up at the back of the restaurant, I left my car running and my phone on the charger. I ran into the shop and delivered the goods while stealing a pop. I walked back to the door and stopped to shoot the shit for a few minutes. When I went back to the car, I noticed that the door was locked and my phone was gone. Someone had leaned in the open window and snagged it. They also dropped a crumpled up paper towel on the driver’s seat.

I immediately assumed it was our friend David, because that would be a prank that he would do, but it wasn’t. I got John’s phone, called it uselessly and logged in to my Google account, so I could track it. It was one street over, so I took off down the alley, ready to punch the first person I saw with it, but there was nobody there. I met John as I was walking back, and then his phone rang. Someone had brought the phone into the pizza shop.

Yayyy.

I went back and the guy was still there, and pretty hammered. He told us that he saw a drunk native guy grab it out of my car and he followed him until the guy threw it away by the TD bank. I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt, even though I am pretty sure he was the one that stole it, so I bought him a pizza.

It is sad that people find it so easy to blame the drunk native people, even though this guy was a drunk whitey that didn’t have enough money for a pop. He was talking about how he had just came from his buddy’s place after helping him change the springs in his drag car, which brought me back to the paper towel. When I looked at it, I immediately thought that it was mine from when I was working on the truck earlier. Most guys will recognize a dry paper towel that was used to wipe rust and dirt off of a pair of hands.

The problem was that I had used wet wipes, not paper towel.

Oh well, I got my phone back, and someone hungry got to eat. I left for that shower and my bed, and then this happened.

What fun!

What fun!

Yep. While I was frantically racing around looking for my phone, my tire was getting flatter. I went around the corner and it poked a bunch of holes in the inside sidewall. Yahoo.

The good news is that I will be getting new tires, and not a new phone. The bad news is that I have to get new tires, then new studded tires this winter. I was hoping these would last, but with an eternal slow leak on the driver’s side, and now this, I think it’s better to be safe than sorry. Tires are pretty important.

Oh, and when I got home, the post I had been writing offline got hidden in the computer during important updates. I’ll have to spend a bit of time looking for that I guess. Or try to rewrite.

Ah well, hopefully your day went smoother than mine.

18 MORE DAYS, BABY!

Birdman

P.S. The internet is working again.

Awesome footnotes   [ + ]

1. luckily the box of crackers was still on the nightstand.
2. They were fucking delicious.