Apr 16

I Forgot How Much I Liked Writing

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Some wonderful friends took us out for Mrs. B’s birthday on the weekend to Muddy’s Pit BBQ in Keene, Ontario. It was the best BBQ that I’ve ever had, except for the brisket. It was the second best.

One side of the table knows how to duck lip.

One side of the table knows how to duck lip.

On the way home we were talking and my buddy had said that he liked reading the blog when I just wrote about whatever was on my mind. That gave me a sense of pride in my loins, because he is a guy that I like and have a lot of respect for, plus he’s quite sexy. I told him that I wanted to write again, but just didn’t have the energy or drive to do it.

Then I got some drive.

After my little meltdown the other day, I started thinking about what was eating away at my gumption. It came down to how little most people care about what happens to our country and our planet.

I mean the people who think that everything is just fine the way it is. You know, the “climate change isn’t real, so it doesn’t really matter if a tailings pond leaks a bit into a river.” people.

Maybe climate change isn’t real. I don’t really care one way or t’other. What I care about is clean, not owned by Nestlé, water and a healthy planet that will keep on sustaining our increasingly extravagant lifestyles.

I also care about honesty and accountability in government, and putting an end to the lobbying practices that are tearing our country apart from the severely corrupt inside.

Keeping our jobs at home is high on my list as well. We know how to make shit, and we have the natural resources, so why are we whoring those resources out to foreign businessmen that always beat the shit out of them and send them back to us horribly disfigured?

Why are we allowing foreign countries to buy the companies that will rape our land, when we are doing such a great job of destroying it ourselves? It doesn’t make a lick of sense to me. I have to go out to the oil fields to get a decent job, because 95% of our decent jobs are gone.

Anyhow, I have offered to volunteer for the Green Party, because I’m sick of doing nothing. It maybe isn’t going to amount to anything in our community, but it’s a start, and it’s better than doing nothing. Why don’t you go out and do something as well? Even if it’s just researching a political party and thinking about whether or not you would vote for them, at least it’s some action.

Birdman

Apr 15

Well, I Guess I Need Therapy

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Yeah, I know it’s been a while.

More than a year, I think.

I have been very busy with work, and when I did get some time off the last thing I was going to do was write. I had all of the best intentions, but you know how it is. I would rather power watch movies and stuff myself with junk food than actually do something productive.

I digress.

Last night I came to the conclusion that I’m going to need help to deal with my mental issues.

The first of my help was to delete Facebook, yet again, then after I get back out west, I am going to go to the mental health place and see about some form of counselling for depression/rage issues. There is really no need for me to get so angry with people that post shit on Facebook, whether I find it mildly annoying or completely abhorrent.

Last night someone on my Facebook feed posted a political post that I agreed with in principal, but when I started reading the comments, I was filled with this seething anger that is completely inexplicable. I mean, yeah, I know why it makes me angry, but not to that extent. When they responded to my childish, and condescending comment, I quite literally felt like inflicting physical and emotional pain on them.

What the fuck?

It’s not like me to not be able to debate in a cordial manner, but there I was with so many things to say, and only enough control to lash out, because I just realised that some people will never see my point.

Like I said, I can’t explain it, but it was there. I immediately unfriended them and started looking through my phone to figure out how to deactivate Facebook from it. I decided to go upstairs and use the computer to do it, when I saw a message asking about the defriending. I was trying to explain that I was going through some mental troubles and saying that it was a problem that I was going to get help for, but the political debate started again, and I just deactivated. It was seriously the only way that I could keep from exploding.

I tried to calm down and rationalize what was going through my head, but it was just so strong that I couldn’t focus on anything but the negative. That started to get me very frightened. I went to bed and Mrs. Birdman woke up and talked me through it, but it took a while. I could barely get words out of my mouth as fast as my mind was thinking them up, so it must have sounded like I had a speech impediment.

Luckily I have the best possible choice for my wife, and she was able to love me to a place where I could sort out my thoughts and get back to logically assessing the situation. I really am so fortunate to have her, and the rest of my family for support. They make it so easy to keep putting one foot ahead of the other.

So that’s where I am now. If you were going to get a hold of me on Facebook for anything, don’t bother. I’m not there, and if you ever see me back there for anything other than trying to swindle some Movember dollars from you, please kick my ass.

Birdman

P.S. I shut down the Reboot site, so I’m back to swearing on here.

Dec 05

Is This It?

Is this what we’ve been living for? Money, power, to have the most shit?

I look around me and I am truly frightened by what I see. Maybe I’m wrong, but it’s as if no one cares anymore. I think it has been coming since the 50’s, kind of when people started forgetting about The Great Depression. I guess I shouldn’t say that no one cares, but no one listens to the people who do. Some of the greatest minds of our time have been pointing and saying “This needs to be fixed.”, but everyone just shrugs and thinks that those people are radicals, and they go back to doing whatever they were told to do, by their friends, boss, parents, the media, etc…

I’m sure it does have a nice ride. Hopefully it tosses your salad on the way home as well.

No one wants to listen to the people who say that things need to change. They like how things are going. They like to have such a huge debt load that they feel like hanging themselves when a stack of bills comes in all at once. It’s alright, because in three years the Range Rover will be paid for and then they’ll have an extra $1100 a month, so they should be okay. Well, as long as no one loses their job, the now un-warrantied Range Rover doesn’t break down, or some other hardship befalls them. Then they’re screwed.

Well, I wonder if anyone is paying attention now? George Carlin doesn’t look like such a troublemaker anymore, does he? Frank Zappa’s insane ramblings are maybe not as crazy as you once thought. Most people have been prioritizing things all of their life, but where do you even start nowadays? Continue reading