Aug 01

I Wasn’t Very Responsible As A Young Adult

mindofbirdman

Apparently nobody told my aunt and uncle that back around 1999 or 2000, but it’s true. I didn’t really think very far ahead when it came to anything in those days.

I was reminded of this at my cousin’s fantastic wedding on the weekend.

We drank some beer and got to talking about the good old days, when talk came around to the time I took my cousin Addison for a ride around Lake Erie when I first started hauling cross-border freight.

Day 1

I think he was around nine or so, and had just finished school for the year. I had to pick up a load at the mine in Nephton, Ontario, and would be going relatively close to my aunt and uncle’s place on the way back. I gave them a call on my fancy Nokia phone. It was before the flip phones and it had that Snake game on it. You remember Snake, don’t you?

Capture

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Jul 22

You Only Live Once

mindofbirdmanYou might as well do it right. Right?

After a long, muggy week of work, I planned on heading north and doing a bit of work on the camp for the weekend.

He probably can't drive me to Bancroft hospital, so I left the chainsaw at home.

The winter was pretty hard on the old girl, so after a collaborative effort we got a big chunk of the washed out driveway replaced a couple of weeks ago, and then celebrated my sister’s fortieth birthday there last weekend . A bunch of things were noted for repair while we were there, so I nominated myself and Mrs. Birdman to start on it this weekend, before we took the kids up there for a few days

I should consult with my wife before planning things. If I did, I would have learned about the party we were supposed to attend with the girls at her sister’s place.

I should also consult with work about when everybody is going to start harvesting wheat.

So I ended up heading north with Blue, to put some tar down on a bit of flashing, split a bit of wood, and drink a bit of beer (Everything in moderation, right?). I figured I would be lonely without my baby there, but it turned out to be just what the doctor ordered. I needed to get some things ready for when the girls came up for their first time at the cabin without me, and I also needed to clear my head.

I wonder now if that’s why Paul and Jim used to go up by themselves sometimes?

Probably.

You see for the last few days I’ve been looking at a ton of photos and listening to the same six songs over and over. Great songs, but even better pictures. Pictures of friends, some that I’ve known since I was old enough to know people.

That’s a shitload of beautiful in one spot.

I needed to get away, to just stop and think. No distractions, except maybe the boy needing a face rub or a half deflated volleyball kicked into the woods for him to chase. I got there and opened everything up, tossed out the mice that had unwittingly fallen into the various pails, and then sat down and opened my first of the two beer I had thrown in the cooler with my steak and an ice pack.

I opened the 12V cigarette lighter package that I picked up at NAPA, took it apart, and went over to where the car battery and it’s myriad of wires taunted me. I picked two that headed for the lamp that Paul had made out of an old coal oil lantern he probably found at a yard sale. I spliced the lighter into it and screwed the mounting bracket into the window trim. The girls were going to have a bunch of things that need to be charged and the generator will only be on at night.

I started to think back to when I used to park my ass at Kelly’s almost every night. There was a pretty waitress there that had a smoking ass, and an amazingly dry sense of humour. I knew who she was, but never had a reason to really talk to her. Well, not since I was seven or eight. That’s when her mom and dad brought her and her sisters over to go tobogganing at our house.

Anyhow, I really enjoyed talking to her, maybe more than I liked drinking beer, but that was usually my excuse for going in there. I could tell that she had been raised to not fall for any guy’s bullshit, but had probably heard her fair share of it. She was witty, smart, and strong, but even through her cynical exterior you could tell she had a big heart. Just like her sisters, and her dad, or so I’d heard anyway.

I didn’t really know him well, but I sure knew of him. When they used to come out to the house I wouldn’t have been old enough to care, or appreciate an adult for anything but whether or not they could get me a hot chocolate. Sure he smiled a lot and seemed happy, but they were all drinking in the kitchen and everyone was happy when that happened. I know my parents really liked John and Cathy. My mom always had such nice things to say about them, like what a nice man he was and how perfect they were together. My dad said the same, and Paul always had high praise for him. That probably had a lot to do with his prowess on the ball field, but I know he liked him as a friend as well.

I knew from talking to Becki, that her dad was her model for what a man should be, and that she wasn’t going to settle for less. Same as her sisters from what I know. I know two of their husbands and they are both stand up guys with good senses of humour. You would need them to survive in that family, I’m guessing. From what I’ve heard anyhow, because like I said, I didn’t really know John very well.

After his celebration of life today, I wish I did.

It’s one thing to hear your folks say what a good man someone is, but totally another to be in a room with a few hundred of his friends and family.

You could say it was a titch emotional.

Yeah, that didn't make anyone cry.

Yeah, that didn’t make anyone cry.

I thought I would have gotten all of my tears out after watching the slideshows of him and his beautiful family for a couple of days, but nothing could prepare me for that room. You could feel the hole that he’d left in that small community. You could see it in the tears and hear it in the crackling voices. He touched so many people with his friendship and sheer love of life, that I’m actually quite shocked I didn’t know him better. Those are exactly the kind of people I like to be around. I suppose I had better get out for a visit with some of his girls soon. I’ll probably start at Preston Springs.

I hope I do half as well at helping to raise our girls as John and Cathy did with theirs. Well, I hope I do as well, but that’s a pretty tall order. Luckily there’s four of us to toe that line.

You only live once, John. There’s not a shadow of a doubt that you did it right.

Love is like a dyin’ ember, only memories remain, through the ages I’ll remember, blue eyes cryin’ in the rain,

Birdman

Jul 04

Therapy Thursday

Hey! I forgot to do the Guardian Bell giveaway on the first post, so we are doing it now. You might as well go to www.guardianbell.com and pick out the bell you want, then put the name of your bell in a comment on this post.

 

newtherapythursday

 

Dear Therapy Thursday:

First wasband* down. Separated over a year with a child whose loving and caring for is a hands on job. I currently share expenses and custody. Did I mention that we still share a house? We are actually friends. Communal hippie living without the sex. For reals. It isn’t viable financially for me to afford my own space. I work full time, am edumacated  but underemployed living in a location that offers little opportunity and high cost of living. Yes, one of those beautiful places.

*

It's from urbandictionary.com, so you know it's true.

It’s from urbandictionary.com, so you know it’s true.

As it stands, I’m not down with being judged as a narcissistic parent looking to alienate a father and make everyone adhere to my agenda but I am aiming for more lucrative jobs in more affordable cities. An offer would include a long distance relocation with my son as I deserve the opportunity for equal earning power as opposed to battling for a settlement from a smaller pie to establish a second residence and merely exist.

As such, I have been pondering a potential journey back to my roots. Been far away from the homeland for half of my life. I’m applying where opportunities exist in the nearby urban centres. It would also present an opportunity for my son to get to know my family.

Did I mention this locale also affords me fantastic sex and love, love, love and shit, in what could only be dubbed as the high school bro-mance that never happened?

I know what you’re thinking. What a selfish bitch. Of course my son’s feelings are valid and consequential. As are his father’s. I take none of this lightly but I am not willing to stifle opportunity to keep peace in the house nonetheless.

Yes, after hanging out, rubbing uglies and plenty of lurid texting, I have a desire to be a part of the moment with a homeboy, not just remember, how he looks when he crinkles his nose at me or arches an eyebrow. That kind of shit takes a lifetime. And if you find someone who’s willing to invest that time, it’s a lifetime well spent.

The delusional cougar in me wonders why I’m a fool if I just do it for love but if I get the dream job then it’s okay because it’s about the money. Thoughts?

Betty

mindofbirdman

Hey Betty:

Wow, it sounds like you’re in a pickle. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. I guess you just have to look deeper into your choices to be able to figure out your best move. I assume that this move will be in the vicinity of an airport, so maybe there is a possibility of your child flying to visit their father. I’m not sure of age limits, but I know people that put their kids on Air Canada with special provisions. The flight attendants sort of look after them for a nominal fee. You could look into that as a viable alternative, if your “dream job” affords you that sort of opportunity.

I know that I once dated a woman that couldn’t leave the province we were in, because the father of her child wouldn’t allow his son to be that far away. I suppose she could have went to court and fought it, but in reality, we weren’t going to last that long, so I discouraged the shit out of that idea.

As for the love thing, I think that you need to pursue the things in life that make you happy. I would, and have, travelled across the country for the possibility of finding true happiness.

Twice they were failed attempts, but the last one wasn’t, so if there is a chance for you to get even a slice of the love, happiness, and sheer bliss that I got on this last go-round, I would say that you should pack that kid up and head back home. Take a month or so this summer to at least try it. Your ex can live that long without his kid, and maybe would finally have time to bang all of those college girls he’s been dreaming about since school’s been done. (we all have) Fuck legality, and take the plunge, because you never know when a chance like this will come along again.

Cause I’m leavin’ on a jet plane, don’t know when I’ll be back again,

Birdman

fromthedesk

That's my advice.

That’s my advice.

Mrs. B

SmartyTalks

Have you ever thought about getting your ex arrested for heroin trafficking or sex slave trading? It’s actually real easy and it pretty much allows you to do what you want with the kid for at least until he’s out of prison. Send me his address and I’ll get to work on making it happen.

Smarty

P.S. I’m also gonna need about $4000 and a gun.

 

Jul 02

One Thing I Love

birdmandesk

It’s when I am sitting quietly upstairs in the nook, and I hear Mrs. B talking to the girls. The topics range from them getting harangued to clean up their mess, to advice on how to get extra marks on a project, to why they have to brush their teeth all the time. It’s always entertaining, no matter if it’s comedy night, tearjerker night, or inspirational night.

Tonight was on how to accept compliments. It was inspirational.

I had noticed before that when there was praise given for a certain talent, it was automatically deflected to which of her friends can do it better. I had noticed it, but never thought to correct it.

This would be a typical conversation:

Me: Hey, that’s a cool poster. You did a really good job on that.

Her: Oh, you should have seen how good Daisy (I’m naming them all Daisy) did on hers. She’s a way better artist than I am.

Me: Oh that’s good for her, but yours is really well done too.

Her: Not as good as her’s though.

Me: Okay, but I like this.

bad art

I don’t care how good Daisy’s is, it will never match this.

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Jun 24

Trampling A Woman’s Rights

birdmandesk

I don’t know how many of you were here back then, but I once wrote a story about a degenerate publisher that runs a fake paper in Oshawa. It was about his, and his reporter Bill Steele’s*, homophobic stance when it came to local politicians supporting the LGBT community.

*Bill Steele claimed to have apologised to the people involved in that story, but it turns out that he did not do so. I suppose it was just to keep the media at bay.

Anyhow, if you didn’t feel like checking it out, I will give you the gist.

  • Councillors Amy England and Bruce Wood attended a PFLAG gala to raise money for an LGBTQ youth leadership camp
  • Councillor England performed a Bruno Mars song in drag to help raise funds
  • Bill Steele and Joe Ingino lambasted the councillors in a poorly edited article in Joe’s “newspaper” for supporting the LGBT community
  • Everyone that wasn’t a homophobe thought the article was idiotic*

*purely speculation Continue reading