May 03

Being A Frog Is Actually Really Cool

WARNING! CONTAINS INGRESS!

 

So I met up with a couple of my new teammates for a visit and to get some keys and low level gear, because I’m only a level 6 now and I need help.

We went to the Noodle Bowl for some tea and a visit, and to play around with the portal we could reach from our table. When we got there, I was presented with this beauty.

Other than the blue lights, it’s perfect.

In case you don’t recognize this, it is the Anker Powercore 20100 that I have been trying to get you all to buy through my Amazon links, because I am poor. We’ll come back to that later.

Some teams give out buttons and keychains, but these guys went above and beyond! This is the best present a new team member could ask for, and it has secured my froggy friends a good supply of fresh eggs, so that seems like a win-win to me.

Might even give them a Torpedo Omelette Egg™1)Not really a trademark, but it should be.

That’s like a level 8 resonator for your guts.

We had a great chat and were able to get Mrs. Birdman to level 42)Yes, she switched as well, but I’ll let her tell you that story. If she wants too. before the local blue thugs showed up and got the party livened up.

That was actually the second time they showed up, but the first time we were eating dinner at the lookout and didn’t really feel like wasting our meager gear on a futile battle. Instead, we just sat and chuckled at the scare/stealth tactics and finished our two for $10 Whopper meals.

I’m poor, remember? That’s not why we were eating Whopper meals though. We were eating them, because we don’t get fast food very often where we live and Burger King is fairly new to town.

I keep mentioning the poorness, because apparently the blue “leader” keeps bringing up the fact that I’m laid off from work for the summer in open comms. He even stooped so low as to tell a new player that, and to mention that he is saving me some bottles and cans. You know, to help me out in my time of need.

Well, I don’t see how I could ever become that needy, being a truck driver, but I guess it makes him feel better about his own lot in life. Of all the things in this world to find joy in, another person not working seems like it should be at the bottom part of the list, but I could be wrong.

Anyhow, back to our new team of compatriots. We are both really excited about joining up with these guys. We already liked them as people, but it was hard when you can’t talk about certain things because you are always on the outside of plans and schemes. Now we are on the inside and we’re excited to get some actual recon missions going.

In a way, I’m glad that not many of the blue team ever gave me the time of day, because it made switching very easy. There were no feelings of loyalty to old friends and lots for the new one.

Plus, they are really cool people.

Birdman

P.S. This is the hen that lays the torpedos. And the reason my doctor said I need to exercise and cut out the Whopper meals.

Yes, I’m calling myself portly.

She’s not as fond of me when I don’t have treats.

Awesome footnotes   [ + ]

1. Not really a trademark, but it should be.
2. Yes, she switched as well, but I’ll let her tell you that story. If she wants too.
Mar 20

Dean – Chapter Two

Dean let out a sickening noise as he watched his sister come to a bloody stop on the ground in front of the whizzing thing.

Who am I kidding? I can’t keep this up for much longer. Let’s just pretend that the deer was tapped in the head with the gift of knowledge, so he now knows all of the basic information that an adolescent human would know. It would take several years to explain how a deer learns each new thing, and we don’t have that kind of time.

A woman got out of the driver’s seat of the car and started to cry. She was also hyperventilating.

“Jesus Christ, Sarah. Would you fucking breathe? It’s just a fucking deer.” Came a voice from the car.

“IT’S DEAD! IT’S JUST A BABY AND IT’S FUCKING DEAD!” She screamed into the car.

“Yeah, I know. Calm down and get in the car. There’s nothing you can do about it now. Fuck, listen to that other one wailing. Let’s go, I can’t take much more of that.”

Dean’s mother looked up from her stupor and then put her head back down and closed her eyes. “It figures.” was all she said.

The car drove off with Sarah freaking out about taking a life that never got to be lived, and Dean stopped his screaming. He didn’t fully understand what all of this meant, but he knew that it didn’t feel right. He felt someone move up beside him.

“She’s with the Lord now. He had a special purpose for her innocent, little soul. She’s in a better place.”

Dean looked over and saw this deer that looked a lot like his mother. She had a glassy sort of look to her, but she seemed sort of kind looking, so he asked her why this “Lord” would want a new-born fawn.

“Who knows?” was her reply. “He doesn’t need to tell us why he does things. If he does it, it was the right thing.”

As he stared at her, trying to comprehend what all of that meant, he heard his mother yell “Don’t you fill his head with your ideas. You let him have a mind of his own.”

“We’re all a part of God’s plan. The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away.” She replied. “You know what Mama always told us.” She looked at Dean. “Honey, you just need to follow the path to the light. God’s love will be waiting there to bathe you. All you have to do is…”

Her eyes bulged out as she lost her wind and crumpled. Dean looked over and saw his mother’s back feet sinking into her side. “Don’t you listen to her. You need to learn things for yourself. Praying to something that probably doesn’t exist isn’t going to help you at all. Now come over here and get some milk. I need to lay down, and you need your strength.”

He latched on to a nipple and went to town. While he was nursing, he saw the other deer limping away. His mom noticed him looking.

“That’s my twin.” She said “I love her, but I can’t handle her shit.”

Dean thought he understood. He loved his sister, but she never even talked to him. It’s not like he was going to miss her. He would just have to try and keep himself alive, and hopefully his mom too.

Dec 12

Dean

Chapter One – After Birth

The first thing Dean remembered was opening his eyes and feeling the sun’s warmth on his gloopy fur, while noisy things sped quickly by him and his mother. They were big things. Much bigger than him or his mom.

The second thing was his mom licking the rest of the amniotic fluid off of him. Dean didn’t know it was called amniotic fluid, I added that in there, because I do my research. There’s actually a lot of things that Dean doesn’t know, as he is a mule deer. I am just adding them in, because that’s what I do.

He tried to get up on his feet, because he felt it was expected of him. He was nervous about staggering around so close to those whizzing things, but something inside of him said that he had to learn to walk. It took him about three minutes, but he finally stood there on his shaky legs and tried a few steps.

He asked his mom what the giant things were, but she was laying back down and moving her legs around. Something was coming out of her, but it wasn’t afterbirth. Dean watched in horror for what seemed like ten minutes. It looked like a wetter, blacker version of Dean. Dean then realized that he was going to be a brother.

This was amazing news to him. He was going to have someone to learn about life with. Someone to frolic in the meadows and play little pranks on their mom with. Someone to help him track down their dad with. He must be around here somewhere, right?

As Dean watched his mom clean off his new sister, he felt at peace with the world. He couldn’t have been born on a warmer, sunnier day. Life was going to be good; he could feel it.

When his sister was all licked off, and was trying to get moving on her own, Dean watched his mom push out the placenta and then he asked her about the big whizzing things again.

“I don’t know what they are, but they mostly stay on those grey strips of land.” She explained.

“Can they hurt us?” Dean asked.

“Oh yes. I have seen them hurt many deer when they walk out on the grey strips of land. They are very hard to stop.”

“Then why would you give birth to your babies so close to the grey strip of land? That seems dangerous”

“There are many things that hurt us. Some of them, such as coyotes and bears, don’t like coming near the grey strips of land, because they get hurt too. We are very vulnerable at this time of year. I’m weak from giving birth, and you’re weak from just being born.”

Dean thought about it, and figured his mom was most likely right. She was probably two years older than him and had lived this long.

As Dean walked a little, and felt the strength coming into his legs and body, he grinned at his sister wobbling around. He went over and rubbed against her to give her a bit of support. He was glad that she had a big brother to lean on during these hard times and he wondered if he looked that funny when he was learning to walk.

He tried to communicate with her, as he did with their mother, but there wasn’t very much going on behind her glassy eyes. She just stared blankly at him.

Perhaps she just needed some time to adjust to her new life. After all, he was almost fifteen minutes older than her.

“Will she get smarter as she gets older?” Dean asked his mom.

“She might, but judging from the look in her eyes, she didn’t get enough air for her brain to fully develop. I think it happens sometimes with twins. Mine was like that too”

It was right about then that Dean noticed another fawn standing up a short distance away. Wow! there are more of us here. As his mother dozed off a bit, he tried to get the attention of the other deer, but there was a horrible noise beside them. By the time he noticed his sister it was too late. A whizzing thing smashed into her and she went sliding down the grey strip of land.

Dec 11

My Next Adventure

I’ve been thinking about writing a book for a long time now, but I’m quite lazy and become daunted by the thought of sitting down and writing a whole book at once.

So I figured that I would write it a chapter at a time on here. It would probably give me more incentive to actually do it, rather than drive around in a snowplow just thinking about for the next few months and forgetting about, like the rest of my great ideas.

Keep in mind that this will just be the rough draft, and that I am always open to constructive criticism, so if you see ways that I can improve, please let me know.

I’m on nights for the next month and a half, so this should help me use up some of my mornings that have been so far wasted on games and lounging.

If you find that you do enjoy the story, please subscribe to the blog so that you will get each chapter emailed to you. Then you don’t even have to click on the link or any other strenuous tasks.

Thanks,

Birdman

P.S. I also like to encourage sharing. It’s the selfish, narcissistic asshole in me.

Jun 19

Where Does It Go?

Birdman

No, I’m not talking about that, although I could have used some hints when I was younger.

I’m talking about time.

I was pretty sick all this week, but what about last week, and probably next week?

It can’t always be so rushed, can it?

It’s been really good to be working again, even though it’s only forty hours a week. I don’t know how I ever did it when I was doing eighty plus. I hope I never have to find out again.

I am quite liking this new job. I’ve never had an actual union job before, so I wasn’t sure what to expect, but so far it’s pretty sweet. I like the scheduled shifts, because knowing when I work all week is a pretty foreign concept to me. The fact that I get a long weekend every weekend in the summer is the icing on the cake though. I am able to get things done on Fridays that would normally take up part of our weekend.

Normally that would leave more time for soaping, but we haven’t really done much of that lately. I guess it’s because we have been busy doing other things like gardening, building the chicken coop, and sleeping. We also helped at the 17th Annual Fishing Derby at Dinosaur Lake today, but that was just a day, so we can’t really blame it for using up all of our precious time.

It was a pretty cool fishing derby though. I think. It’s actually the first one I’ve been to in any capacity, so it seemed good to me, even though there were only four fish caught out of probably a hundred people.

dinosaur lake

Dinosaur Lake

Apparently fish don’t bite when the water is so muddy, but this derby doesn’t care if you catch fish, so the juniors were just drawn from all of the kids who entered. I also like that everyone gets a prize, so even if you don’t fish, you are still going to get something. I got a good length of rope and a credit card knife, along with a bunch of freebies that the conservation officers dropped off for everyone. Lanyard and floaty keychains, travel mugs, stickers, spinner lures, and some cool tape measures were given out to everyone that wanted them.

It was a really fun day, with all kinds of community spirit and a lot of smiling faces. I can’t wait for next year. 🙂

Birdman

P.S. I only wrote one thing this week over at Granola Light. It isn’t really exciting for anyone who doesn’t share my passion for the care and breeding of composting worms and the evil forces that attack them.