May 03

Being A Frog Is Actually Really Cool

WARNING! CONTAINS INGRESS!

 

So I met up with a couple of my new teammates for a visit and to get some keys and low level gear, because I’m only a level 6 now and I need help.

We went to the Noodle Bowl for some tea and a visit, and to play around with the portal we could reach from our table. When we got there, I was presented with this beauty.

Other than the blue lights, it’s perfect.

In case you don’t recognize this, it is the Anker Powercore 20100 that I have been trying to get you all to buy through my Amazon links, because I am poor. We’ll come back to that later.

Some teams give out buttons and keychains, but these guys went above and beyond! This is the best present a new team member could ask for, and it has secured my froggy friends a good supply of fresh eggs, so that seems like a win-win to me.

Might even give them a Torpedo Omelette Egg™1)Not really a trademark, but it should be.

That’s like a level 8 resonator for your guts.

We had a great chat and were able to get Mrs. Birdman to level 42)Yes, she switched as well, but I’ll let her tell you that story. If she wants too. before the local blue thugs showed up and got the party livened up.

That was actually the second time they showed up, but the first time we were eating dinner at the lookout and didn’t really feel like wasting our meager gear on a futile battle. Instead, we just sat and chuckled at the scare/stealth tactics and finished our two for $10 Whopper meals.

I’m poor, remember? That’s not why we were eating Whopper meals though. We were eating them, because we don’t get fast food very often where we live and Burger King is fairly new to town.

I keep mentioning the poorness, because apparently the blue “leader” keeps bringing up the fact that I’m laid off from work for the summer in open comms. He even stooped so low as to tell a new player that, and to mention that he is saving me some bottles and cans. You know, to help me out in my time of need.

Well, I don’t see how I could ever become that needy, being a truck driver, but I guess it makes him feel better about his own lot in life. Of all the things in this world to find joy in, another person not working seems like it should be at the bottom part of the list, but I could be wrong.

Anyhow, back to our new team of compatriots. We are both really excited about joining up with these guys. We already liked them as people, but it was hard when you can’t talk about certain things because you are always on the outside of plans and schemes. Now we are on the inside and we’re excited to get some actual recon missions going.

In a way, I’m glad that not many of the blue team ever gave me the time of day, because it made switching very easy. There were no feelings of loyalty to old friends and lots for the new one.

Plus, they are really cool people.

Birdman

P.S. This is the hen that lays the torpedos. And the reason my doctor said I need to exercise and cut out the Whopper meals.

Yes, I’m calling myself portly.

She’s not as fond of me when I don’t have treats.

Awesome footnotes   [ + ]

1. Not really a trademark, but it should be.
2. Yes, she switched as well, but I’ll let her tell you that story. If she wants too.
Apr 23

Prayer is Actually Very Useful

 So I woke up this morning and there was a crazy message on my computer. I saw that a whole lot of people had left the chat and as I scrolled through, I read that an old friend from high school was in trouble and needed help. I also saw that in between leaving the conversation there were a lot of these before the person left the group.

At first I was pissed off, but then I realised how brilliant that is. I should never have denounced religion when I was old enough to think for myself, because…

It can get you out of social responsibilities!

I mean seriously, check it out:

“Hey man, we lost our jobs and got kicked out of our apartment. Is there anything you can do to help? I’ll pay you back as soon as we get back on our feet.”

I’ll pray that God finds someone else to help you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Or:

“Hey, it’s actually been really hard this winter. I could sure use a friend right now. It’s to the point where I can hardly get out of bed in the morning, and I think my wife is going to leave me. Maybe we could grab a coffee and talk?”

I can’t because I have a thing, but I’ll pray that God gives you strength.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Another one might go like:

I heard about your son’s accident. I’ll pray that God spares him any pain. Except for the pain he has already caused him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I know that I’m being petty, and most people don’t know how to help, so they say that they will pray for the afflicted. That’s a nice sentiment, but how the fuck is it going to help?

Going by percentages, how many of your prayers get answered? If it’s more than 30% you aren’t praying for hard things like curing cancer or the Leafs winning the Stanley Cup.

Prayer is merely wishing, and if you actually believe that God has a plan for everything, then what are you praying for? If you don’t know how to help, ask. If they need money and you don’t have it, see if there is anything else you can do.I’m sure they understand being broke, because they are there as well.

Maybe you could pray that God gives you a shitload of money so you could lend them some, or you could go to your church and see if they can help out in any way. They probably won’t, because unless it’s a tithing member of said church, they usually don’t have a lot of use for poor people.

Relax!

I said “probably” and “usually”. I know that your church isn’t like the other churches. It stands for everything that Jesus stood for, and that is nothing but peace and love. Your church doesn’t even follow the Old Testament, that’s how progressive they are.

My point here isn’t that you should feel obligated to help. What I’m trying to get across is that instead of clicking the emoji for prayer, try typing  the words out and use the person’s name before leaving the conversation for greener pastures. Maybe that’s what they need is to know that you actually care. You could also just leave and get on with your life. You can’t help everyone, and maybe you just exhausted your resources. Whatever.

Better yet, start a conversation. That’s been a great help to a lot of people. Just knowing that you aren’t alone is sometimes enough to make something horrible seem a little more bearable. You’ll probably feel a lot better yourself.

Birdman

P.S.

You’ll get a lot more production out of this emoji

Aug 30

Hey, Thanks A Bunch

(This is an almost exact replica of the post I put on Granola Light, but because some of the action comes from here, I thought it only fair to post one on Change The Topic too.)

I got a wonderful email today from Amazon.ca telling me that they had deposited a payment into our account. Wahoo!

As we’ve mentioned before, if you go through any Amazon link on this site and buy anything from Amazon within 24 hours of clicking through, we get a referral fee from Amazon.

You can learn more HERE.

Well, some of you have done this, and we just wanted to thank you for that.

It’s not going to make us rich or anything(unless we can get some of the sheep shagging crowd) , but if the monthly amounts keep going the way they have been, the money earned will be enough to pay the web hosting fees for the year.

That’s a nice savings, and it is appreciated. The way we look at it is that every little bit helps, and we don’t want to take anything for granted. I just wanted you to know that it means a lot to us, and the money is actually going somewhere that is really helping out.

So thank you. Thanks for clicking and putting a bit of dough back in our wallets, but most of all thanks for stopping by. We really love hearing from you, and because we are horrible at keeping in contact with our friends, this is generally the only way we do it.

Hopefully that doesn’t make us bad people, we just get caught up in life, and time gets away from us. It’s not that we don’t want to talk to anyone.

You understand, right Mom?

Anyhow, the soap, mealworms and the composting worms are doing fantastic, and the chickens are good too, but Red keeps laying eggs while roosting. I went out at about 5 AM and put her in a nesting box, and when I opened the coop at 7, she had a beautiful little egg that wasn’t smashed on the floor, so I will keep doing that until she learns, I guess.

We are also looking into black soldier fly larva, sprouting grains, and aquaponics for the future, so that’s pretty exciting. For me. I’m a real nerd when it comes to this stuff.

Birdman

Jun 19

Where Does It Go?

Birdman

No, I’m not talking about that, although I could have used some hints when I was younger.

I’m talking about time.

I was pretty sick all this week, but what about last week, and probably next week?

It can’t always be so rushed, can it?

It’s been really good to be working again, even though it’s only forty hours a week. I don’t know how I ever did it when I was doing eighty plus. I hope I never have to find out again.

I am quite liking this new job. I’ve never had an actual union job before, so I wasn’t sure what to expect, but so far it’s pretty sweet. I like the scheduled shifts, because knowing when I work all week is a pretty foreign concept to me. The fact that I get a long weekend every weekend in the summer is the icing on the cake though. I am able to get things done on Fridays that would normally take up part of our weekend.

Normally that would leave more time for soaping, but we haven’t really done much of that lately. I guess it’s because we have been busy doing other things like gardening, building the chicken coop, and sleeping. We also helped at the 17th Annual Fishing Derby at Dinosaur Lake today, but that was just a day, so we can’t really blame it for using up all of our precious time.

It was a pretty cool fishing derby though. I think. It’s actually the first one I’ve been to in any capacity, so it seemed good to me, even though there were only four fish caught out of probably a hundred people.

dinosaur lake

Dinosaur Lake

Apparently fish don’t bite when the water is so muddy, but this derby doesn’t care if you catch fish, so the juniors were just drawn from all of the kids who entered. I also like that everyone gets a prize, so even if you don’t fish, you are still going to get something. I got a good length of rope and a credit card knife, along with a bunch of freebies that the conservation officers dropped off for everyone. Lanyard and floaty keychains, travel mugs, stickers, spinner lures, and some cool tape measures were given out to everyone that wanted them.

It was a really fun day, with all kinds of community spirit and a lot of smiling faces. I can’t wait for next year. 🙂

Birdman

P.S. I only wrote one thing this week over at Granola Light. It isn’t really exciting for anyone who doesn’t share my passion for the care and breeding of composting worms and the evil forces that attack them.

Apr 18

Blue Fucked Off, Again

birdmandesk

Blue.

This is one of the mornings since he has been sleeping in his crate. He takes every chance to sneak onto a pillow.

This is one of the mornings since he has been sleeping in his crate. He takes every chance to sneak onto a pillow in his old bed.

You might remember him from such posts as Today’s The Day, I Love That Boy, or Blue And The Wolf.

Now he’s going to be known for this one. Hopefully it won’t be his last appearance.

Yesterday, we decided to do a bit of van camping, kind of like when we went to the hot springs. The girls were at their dad’s, so we were going to make some soap, pack up the van, and head up to the ski hill and then to Bullhead Mountain.

Then I got pretty sick and we decided to just go up to Bullhead, let the dogs go for a good run, and cook some burgers on an open fire. After that we were going to come home because my guts were hurting and I wanted to be in my own bed. I’m getting quite old.

We let them out at around the one km mark and they chased the van. By two km they had passed it. We got ahead of them while they pissed on a tree and they were starting to lag a bit by three, so we let them in the van and drove another little bit to the gravel pit that we decided would be a good stopping point. They were pretty beat, so we figured they wouldn’t stray too far from camp.

Then Blue fucked off.

This was on the hot springs trip. Dover was Yang or 9 depending on how your mind works.

This was on the hot springs trip. Dover was Yang or 9 depending on how your mind works.

They both were meandering along the side of the mountain, and Dover was sticking close to the camp on account of food.

Blue, not so much.

As we were getting the fire going, we heard the baying start.

“Oh shit, Blue’s after something.” I said. I was hoping it was a squirrel up a tree or something simple like that.

We just kind of shrugged our shoulders and finished splitting the kindling and the old punky shit that was lying around the pit. He wasn’t too far away.

Then his baying got fainter. A bit further up the mountain. Oh well, he has already had a good run, so he should be back before too long. We were going to be a few more hours anyhow.

And then the wind started to pick up. A lot. The baying was moving back closer to us. We walked to the edge and watched for him, yelling his name. I caught a quick glimpse of him, nose to the ground, moving through the edge of the trees, far below. He wasn’t really interested in what we were saying.

After a while it sounded like he had crossed the road. And then about an hour later, he crossed back again. I think. The wind was just howling through the valley by now. We could hear him every so often, but couldn’t tell where he was. You couldn’t even hear the echoes anymore. We weighed his cushion down with rocks on the edges and left him some food and water, then we went home. I was going to leave my jacket, but Gerri figured he would like his outside bed better. She’s usually right.

Blue

The arrows are where we know he went. The circle is where he might be now, if someone didn’t pick him up.

We then put Dover, some food, and the bed in the van and headed back out there for the night. We wouldn’t be able to sleep thinking he was waiting out there for us. When we got there, he was nowhere to be seen. The food and water was untouched, so we parked and honked for a bit. Then we dozed on and off until morning, got up, had a pee in nature (Dover’s was on Blue’s bed.), and headed back to get the quad to see if we could find him on some of the old logging trails.

We looked up and down every trail that we could find, calling and whistling, but there was nothing. I’m just going to assume that he made it to one of the roads and someone picked him up. He’ll climb into anyone’s vehicle, so there would be no problem there. We will just wait until tomorrow morning and put out a PSA and hope that someone calls the district with his tag number. He’s been gone for 24 hours, so if a cougar didn’t get him, or he didn’t run off a cliff, I’m guessing someone has him.

This is when he was a bus driver on our journey west.

This is when he was a bus driver on our journey west.

I have had some pretty crazy scenarios running through my head since we lost him. I have envisioned him bringing down a deer and then having to fight of a couple of coyotes for his kill. He was pretty beat up, but was able to drag himself back to his pad and wait for us to come and get him. In another, he was chasing an elk, but so was a cougar. As he was gaining on the old cow, the cougar got him from behind. He was so excited about the hunt that he didn’t feel the two inch canines1)Shouldn’t they be felines? sink into the back of his neck.

He didn’t make it home from that one.

Another was where he ran back down the road and saw the guy loading his quad onto his trailer and just jumped in with him. That’s the one I am hoping for.

It doesn’t matter which one I think of, I get really sad and happy. Happy to have known him, and sad to think of never seeing him again. Next to my wife, he is my best friend out here. His emotional neediness is endearing, and his love is unconditional.

Unless there’s hunting. If there’s hunting, you’re shit out of luck in the friend department.

Birdman


*Note: We got a call last night from Blue’s rescuer. We went and picked him up and other than being gimbled up, he seems okay. Thirsty, tired, and hungry, but his tail still wags and he doesn’t have any puncture wounds in his neck, so that’s awesome. I guess he was found on the cushion that we left. 🙂

Thank you so much, James. You saved us another restless night.

BTW, I already had the post mostly written, so I decided to finish it. Call me cheap if you want, but it’s hard to get the motivation to write, so I wasn’t wasting it.

Awesome footnotes   [ + ]

1. Shouldn’t they be felines?