Jul 19

Therapy Thursday

Dear Therapy Thursday,

Today I was at the gym, and saw a “girl” whom I believe is a professional body builder. Though she was my height, bigger than me and stronger than me, and she had (pretty much) all the characteristics of a man, I found her quite attractive. (Despite knowing that she could probably crush my head like a grape with her powerful thighs, and would likely insist on being on top.)

I’ve been looking for a way to get my wife into 3-ways, and this seems like a perfect opportunity! (Something for everyone – all that muscle, and boobs, too!) How would you suggest I approach the topic with my wife?

Sincerely,

Hoping Our Marriage Opens

Continue reading

Jul 17

When You Wish Upon A Star

This is a flash fiction story that I wrote for Dude Write and their contest Flashier Than You. This is my first foray into flash fiction. I really don’t do much fiction writing at all, unless you count the bestiality story for Gadget.

Anyhow, this is the story. Hopefully I will get better at writing these things with practice.

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If you told me two weeks ago that I’d be lying here, staring at the stars on this cool March night, I’d have said you were loopy. Our yard is nothing but a slushy mess this time of year, and it’s supposed to go down to -9C tonight, or so the weatherman says.

Man, that was some dance.

I have never been so taken with a girl, ever. She is the definition of grace, with just enough fun and self loathing to make her like me for who I am. I didn’t have to pretend with her, like I do with other girls, which was refreshing. I don’t know why we always have to put on a different face when we meet new people, but after tonight I’m not doing that again.

She was so pretty. I’m sorry, but I can’t quit thinking of how her smile brightened her eyes, which gave her an ethereal glow. Kind of like when you go by someone’s house late at night and you can see that they have the TV on. There is just a glow around, and in front of it, but the rest of the room is dark and shadowy. It’s not that I’m looking in windows all the time, but sometimes you just notice things when you are walking at night.

Tonight when I was walking home, I felt completely happy. All of my loneliness was gone and I was smiling the whole way. Even when I got here and realized that I didn’t have my house key. It’s amazing how talking to a really sweet girl for a couple of hours can take you from cutting yourself and wishing you would just die, to not being able to wait to get a haircut, find a job, and ask her out on a date.

I find it hard to believe I had ever had those thoughts before. What could have been so bad? My parents were good people. They never beat me or treated me unkind. I just don’t understand how I could have ever thought about suicide or even the cutting.

Cutting is so stupid. It had almost become a habit instead of a necessity. I thought I was just supposed to do it. She didn’t care though. She saw the scars. Touched the scars. She looked sad that I was hurting. I never want to make her feel sad again. Ever.

I probably will though. The ice is starting to crust around me, and I think my back is broken. All I can seem to do is blink… and think. Think about her.

I’ve climbed through this window a hundred times before, but I guess I won’t be climbing through it again.

Jun 29

We Got The Grass Cut

At the cabin. Don’t worry, the grass at home is still as long as ever.

He’s so much like Paul.

My brother Larry and I went up last weekend and spent the night. It was good, but it was weird not having Paul there. He is ingrained into every part of that cabin, from the furniture, to the homemade mousetraps, so it was kind of like he was there, but not the same.

It was his favourite place, that I know of. Continue reading

Jun 19

I Can Be An Asshole

Right?

I know I can.

I’m opinionated, I think my shit doesn’t stink, and I figure that I’m so evolved that there is no way that anyone does things right unless they are doing it my way. Don’t kid yourself when you read my sappy posts, there is a complete asshole inside of me.

Now that we have established that I’m an asshole, I need to say that if my dog bit a neighbourhood kid, I would do everything in my power to make amends for said biting. If it was severe enough (caused bodily harm), I would put the dog down. Continue reading

Mar 21

The best bosses I’ve ever had – Part One

As I was reading a good post by a friend of mine about how sub-par employees seem to get catered to by sub-par employers, while good, hardworking employees get to suck the hind tit, I was reminded of probably the best employers I’ve ever had the pleasure of working for. I may have embellished on Deb’s title, but that’s my spin on it.

I have had several great employers, and I’m going to make it my chore to write about all of them in time, but for now I’ll focus on the time I spent living with my brother Larry, and my other brother Larry in British Columbia’s lower mainland. I loved that area for a great many reasons, one of which was that magic mushrooms grew in a field near the house. Another reason was the camping trips in the mountains of Agassiz and Boston Bar and the May twofours at Hihium with the Larries. Those were some of the best times of my life, and the beginning of my “freedom”, and I’ll always look back at them with fondness.

Okay, now to tell you about Bill and Vernia Cherington, because they are the first of the two from that chapter in my life. Continue reading