May 05

Furry Fandom?

birdmandesk

So I went back and read the old post, How To Properly Shag A Sheep today. I still get a kick out of it, and the fact that roughly thirty people a day, every day read that post.

It’s the sole reason that some ad companies keep sending me emails. I hadn’t written in a year, but still consistently got over a thousand hits a month from all sorts of people.

Sadly, a lot of them got there by searching for phrases like, but not limited to:

  • how to fuck sheep
  • can man fuck sheep
  • sheep vagina
  • sex with sheep

When I got to the end of the post, I noticed a bunch of comments that I hadn’t seen before. One of them, I found kind of odd and disturbing.

kobidobi

Needless to say, I responded in anger at someone who is into zoophilia calling me wicked for being froward.1)adjective 1. (of a person) difficult to deal with; contrary. *I had to look it up.* I’m still trying to figure out what any of this has to do with the Lannisters.

So anyhow, I was on this pinhead’s profile and saw a bunch of posts and videos about people dressed as stuffed animals, and while I stared at the sheer volume of them, Mrs. B came to kiss me good night. I asked her to look at it and she said, “Yeah, they’re furries. It’s a real thing.”

I, of course, had to look into it. It’s real, with conventions and everything else. People have costumes that can cost more than $10000 and some of them have sex with the costumes on. Crazy, huh? I mean, I could understand it if they were Wookies or Storm Troopers, because everybody does that. Right?

Of course I’m kidding. I don’t care who you choose to have sex with, as long as they are into it too. Dress up as Toto, and have your partner be Dorothy for all I care. Hump the living shit out of her leg and leave a stain on the ruby slippers. Fly your freak flag high and proud, I say.

Do not have sex with real animals.

I know, I shouldn’t have to tell you that, but obviously it needs to be said. Go and look at the thread with the idiot and I. He seems to think that it’s okay to have sex with whatever you want, which brings me back to the furries.

the survey was replicated in 2008, and it found 17% of respondents reported zoophilia. The older lower results, which are even lower than estimated in the general population, were due to the methodology of questioning respondents face-to-face which led to social desirability bias.

That’s from the Furry Fandom Wikipedia page.

What the fuck is wrong with people? I know that Blue loves me more than probably anything2)with the exception of eating garbage and smelling things, but I’m certain that he does not want me to fuck him.

I’m absolutely sure of it.

I’ve had lots of female dogs over the years, and many had been in heat, but not once did any of them lift her tail and puff up her vagina to lure me in. Not one time.

Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t fuck her even if she was asking for it in concise English. I am not into it, but that’s just me. Call me a prude.

This kobidobidog seems to be okay with it though. Unless he’s a troll, but I don’t think so. There’s too much evidence of him being really into it.

So there it is. I’m going to let the dog out for a pee, and go curl up with my sweet mama. She’s been waiting for several hours.

Word to your moms,

Birdman

Awesome footnotes   [ + ]

1. adjective 1. (of a person) difficult to deal with; contrary. *I had to look it up.*
2. with the exception of eating garbage and smelling things
Jul 17

Someone Was Wrong On The Internet

Birdman

It’s something that Mrs Birdman dedicated to me one day. A cartoon. Apparently it’s my thing.

I can't help it. It's a sickness.

I can’t help it. It’s a sickness.

Anyhow, because it is so sweltering hot at my desk, I postponed finishing the Darien Lake post to do this, because it will be much quicker. It’s basically just a cutout of Ed’s Facebook status and the ensuing argument, but my wife thought it would make a good post, and I want to get into our air conditioned bedroom soon, so I said “What the hell? I’ll try anything twice.”

Anyhow, here it is in all of it’s glory.

Long, huh?

Long, huh?

I had to look up TLDR again, but I soon remembered someone else writing that on another argument I was in. I guess it’s a popular response to nerds. My baby sent me this excerpt from Wikipedia, when I asked her about it:

Maintain civility[edit]

Sometimes a person might feel that a reader’s decision to pointedly mention this essay during a discussion is dismissive and rude. Therefore, courteous editors might, as an alternative to citing WP:TLDR, create a section on the longwinded editor’stalk page and politely ask them to write more concisely.

A common mis-citation of this essay is to ignore the reasoned and actually quite clear arguments and requests for response presented by an unnecessarily wordy editor with a flippant “TL;DR” in an attempt to discredit and refuse to address their strongly-presented ideas and/or their criticism of one’s own position. This is a four-fold fallacyad hominemappeal to ridiculethought-terminating cliché, and simple failure to actually engage in the debate because one is supposedly too pressed for time to bother, the inverted version of proof by verbosity.

Lastly, shear laziness or excessively concise may miss an important set of details necessary to include a well branched entry despite lacking the requisite patience. [8].

Well, that’s it for tonight. I hope we get some rain soon to cool things off around here. I hear the crops could use it too. I will try to get something done around here soon.

So you think your schooling is phoney, I guess it’s hard not to agree, you say it all depends on the money and who is in your family tree,

Birdman

 

Jun 24

Trampling A Woman’s Rights

birdmandesk

I don’t know how many of you were here back then, but I once wrote a story about a degenerate publisher that runs a fake paper in Oshawa. It was about his, and his reporter Bill Steele’s*, homophobic stance when it came to local politicians supporting the LGBT community.

*Bill Steele claimed to have apologised to the people involved in that story, but it turns out that he did not do so. I suppose it was just to keep the media at bay.

Anyhow, if you didn’t feel like checking it out, I will give you the gist.

  • Councillors Amy England and Bruce Wood attended a PFLAG gala to raise money for an LGBTQ youth leadership camp
  • Councillor England performed a Bruno Mars song in drag to help raise funds
  • Bill Steele and Joe Ingino lambasted the councillors in a poorly edited article in Joe’s “newspaper” for supporting the LGBT community
  • Everyone that wasn’t a homophobe thought the article was idiotic*

*purely speculation Continue reading

Apr 29

Koala Kid Review – It Ain’t Pretty

041613_2309_KoalaKidGiv1.jpg

Last week I did a giveaway for a couple of copies of this movie. I hadn’t received my review copy, so I was just giving them away blindly. I have since gotten a hold of a copy and watched it.

I’m sorry.

I really hope your kids are quite young. If they are, then you will probably be okay. Kids that are younger than around 5 or 6 might not understand second-rate animation, how badly the voice actors were cast, and they may just be able to enjoy it for the funny looking animals and the very basic plot. Continue reading

Mar 11

Standing Up For What’s Right

mindofbirdman

I’m bypassing the post about how I was depressed and didn’t realise it. It’s not that I don’t think it’s worth talking about, because it is, but this just happened tonight, so it’s still fresh.

I followed a guy that I thought was drunk, and I confronted him when he pulled into the convenience store parking lot.

I had to meet some people at the Tim Horton’s and got stuck behind this guy doing anywhere from 10 to 40 km/h in 50 and 60 km/h zones. He was swerving and hitting his brakes all willy-nilly and generally being a nuisance, so when I saw him getting into the drive-thru, I realised that I had a couple of minutes to talk to the family I was meeting. I saw the shiny, new avalanche leaving, so I got behind him and followed him back downtown. It was the same erratic driving as the way up, sometimes almost coming to a complete stop and then taking off slowly.

Not cool.

Not cool.

When he pulled into the Mac’s, I got out and approached his truck. He had oxygen tubes in his nose and his eyes were droopy and dull. I asked if he was alright and he said he was fine. I then asked if he’d been drinking and he got pissy and exclaimed that he hadn’t had a drink in twenty five years. I told him that he was driving pretty crazy, and that he was endangering anyone who was out on the road, because he wasn’t paying attention, but he told me he was just fishing for change and that he had looked around, and there wasn’t anyone following him, so he didn’t think it mattered. When I told him that I was right behind him the whole way, he said he didn’t see me, so I explained that he obviously wasn’t paying attention around him. Continue reading