I don’t really know where to begin because I’ve seen, endured, been a part of and, believe it or not, perpetrated my share of stupidity. For reasons of possible self incrimination, I’ll just relay some of my observations and leave my own indiscretions for another day.
I like to think that there are only two types of stupid, avoidable and un-avoidable. The avoidable strain tends to have mitigating factors such as alcohol, money and horny, those three factors can usually be grouped into one on any given weekend. The un-avoidable brand of stupid is the result of genetic roulette.
The Bird mentioned in one of his posts that someone got kicked out of camp(skidded) for smoking in the dorm. That falls into the avoidable column. Ya…you may be thinking that it is a failure in the intelligence area and should be listed as un-avoidable we have to go deeper into the story.
A couple weeks ago on a Monday(everyday is Monday here) I was talking to Pipeline Val during dinner. She told me that a guy who just got to camp met her and another lass in the hallway of our dorm and he was hammered. Apparently he took a shine to one of the lasses and tried some Romeo moves with no success. He got skidded immediately and everybody’s comment was along the line of “how stupid can you be”. Everybody here knows there is no booze, drugs or smoking in the dorms. The next night, Monday, security knocks on my door just after I crawl into the fart sac because they are trying to find out who is smoking in their room. The search was unsuccessful. I guess the culprit felt invincible because the next night, Monday, they decided to light up in their room again….BUSTED! Barnaby Jones was hot on the trail and made the collar. The lady was immediately told she was no longer welcome here. Now for the un-avoidable stupidity. Good ole Pipeline go to the other lasses room to get the lowdown on events, and after hearing the story thinks to herself “since she already got caught and is being skidded, I guess it’s safe for me to light one up in her room while she’s packing”. Although I’m not a fan, I think Jeff Foxworthy sums it up pretty good…Here’s Your Sign! Barnaby Jones swoops in and it’s adios to Pipeline Val too. For me, the funniest part of it was hearing that on the way out both of the women tried to blame the other one. Ultimately they are both out over ten grand a month for stupidity.
I can think of many more cases of stupidity but right now I have better things to talk about. So far it’s been a great time out here, it would be better if the Bird and I were on the same shift, but that would mean he has to work nights or I would have to work with different people. Neither one of us want to do that. As good as it has been here, I want to go home! I miss my girls! The closer it gets to going home, the more I miss them. Kind of a cruel juxtaposition. I’m told there should be enough room on the Flint charter to Calgary tomorrow and I’m hoping I can cajole Air Canada into putting me on a red eye a day earlier than my scheduled flight. If things work out I’ll make it to Toronto a day early and surprise the princesses, or I’ll be stuck in Fort Nelson because Andrew’s math was wrong and the charter is full. Should be an adventure either way.
The Bird will be busy driving for the next couple days so I will do my best to keep you updated on my whereabouts. If all goes well, I’ll be on a bus to Fort Nelson at 9am, then fly to Fort St. John, then fly to Grand Prairie, then fly to Edmonton, then fly to Calgary, then whine my way onto a flight to Toronto and find my way to Cobourg. It’s a simple as that. If my foolproof plan falls apart, I’ll be home around 1am Wednesday morning.
It’s a small world….but I wouldn’t want to paint it!