OMFG, YOU HAVE TO READ THIS POST!!!

Yeah, as if. I was just seeing if the title is really what makes people read a post. I’ve been told by many that it is, and I’m sure that’s true, but how do you keep coming up with great headlines? What is a great headline, after all?

Is it something that grabs your attention with shock, sympathy, anger, sadness, or sex? I guess so. I’m going to start putting up sensational headlines on my posts, to try and grab the readers, and make them stop and look at things. I’m probably not even going to match up the title with the story. That way you will have to read the whole thing to find out it’s shitty and boring. I think I must be a marketing moron, because I would rather just do my thing, and hope that it works out.

I don’t know though, maybe people are right when they say that you need to get everyone’s attention to give them a chance to see if they like your writing. That seems like a good idea, except for the fact that I don’t consider myself a writer, so I might need more help than just some flashy titles, and smoke and mirrors. I might need to actually take a course or something. I don’t know, the more I blog, the more I love blogging. I just think I’ll need to get better at it, in order to one day get paid for writing. What a good life that would be.

I suppose I could also try writing a book, but what the hell would I write about? Maybe I could invent a fantasy world that involves other worldly creatures that I would have to invent and provide backstory and all of that other bullshit. Naw, that’s way too much work for this dude. I imagine I could write a couple of short stories and try to get them published in Hustler or something. That would be cool. I’d love to imagine my words being slowly encrusted from the thorough soaking that the pages would take. I could sit and imagine who’s DNA is mingling with my stories. Maybe someone famous? LL Cool J, or perhaps Eric Estrada? One never knows who spanks it to Hustler.

I have had an idea for a year or so that I’d like to turn into a screenplay, and that’s where the course would come in handy. Only because I haven’t got a clue how to write a screenplay, or any other play. I actually come up with all kinds of ideas for movies, tv shows, etc…, but have no clue how you go about pitching those types of ideas, and who you’d pitch them to. I guess if I had some ambition, I’d do a bit of research on what the processes are, and who I need to talk to about what project when I do get them done. I guess I’m just being like I was when I was younger, and expected people to just magically appear on my doorstep to offer me my dream job. Wouldn’t that be great? Yes it would, but that’s not the way life works, and it probably never will. If you want something, and your dad isn’t Will Smith, you are going to have to work for it. I really don’t have a problem with working, I’ll outwork a lot of people when it comes to putting in time, it’s just such a chore trying to stay focused on one task.

That’s where Pinterest comes into play. I start writing, and then I put up a pic on Pinterest. While I’m there, I check to see what funny little things there are to repin. Not too much, but maybe if I refresh, there will be a bunch more. Yay, there is a bunch more. Oh, I should check the stats on the blog. Holy shit, 773 people have viewed the blog today. That’s phenomenal. Wait, only 200 of them, if that, gave it a real read, because the rest were stumbleupon viewers. An extra three or four hundred people, and I’ll be lucky if five or ten of them read it. Not one new subscriber, out of all of them. Oh well, you’re still here, right? I sure hope you don’t go anywhere, that would break my heart.

I have also noticed that a lot of folks that used to read and comment, don’t anymore. Well, at least they don’t comment, I guess I wouldn’t know if they were still reading or not. I suppose it gets boring, reading every day, waiting for that amazing post that you had maybe read something like a long time ago. I guess you finally will just give up. I’m getting to that point with TFP. There were some good stories that I laughed at before, but I keep reading every post, hoping for another. I totally know where he’s coming from though. He’s been writing for a few years I think, and sooner or later you just feel less relevant. You wonder if people are reading out of habit, or if they are truly interested. I am always trying to wrack my brain and think of something to make you laugh, or cry, or even just think. It’s really exhausting sometimes, but I love doing it. As long as I think there is someone left to enjoy what I’m doing, I will keep doing it. For free if I have to, but hopefully one day you will tell enough of your friends, and they will like it enough to tell their friends and then someone will pay me to write. Oh the glory of it.

I have actually thought of writing reviews of products for money, but as it is, I haven’t had the ambition yet. I’m afraid they will ask me to lie, and I won’t do that just to make a few bucks. Now if it were fifty grand or so…

Money, it’s a hit, don’t give me none of that do goody good bullshit,

Birdman

P.S. Oh yeah, I almost forgot. When we get our 50th subscriber, I’m going to write a Penthouse forum-like story with that subscriber as the main character. It probably won’t be blog material, but I’m sure it will be framed and thrown up above the table in the hallway. If you have one.

 

 

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11 thoughts on “OMFG, YOU HAVE TO READ THIS POST!!!

  1. Can i just make up other names and comments till i’m the 50th subscriber? Boy oh boy (rubbing hands together) would I ever like to be the main character in a penthouse forum-like story! Oh hang on! I got to live out a story down in the DR! Actually it was more Hustler like than Penthouse! Way dirtier!
    OMFG had me at F!
    Gadget

  2. Couldn’t agree more with everything you said today.

    For me, I think that posting every day would detract from my blog. I’ve seen it with other blogs, where they make a point to post every day and the content becomes dry or monotonous. I said from the beginning that my blog is for me, first and foremost. So I will never post just to post.

    I was just telling Stephanie Pearl that even right now I have posts that are already written and ready to go, but I wait to post them so that in later days, when I am struggling for things to write about, I’ll still have something ready to go to share with my readers.

    And what do you consider a subscriber/where is your count? I subscribe via RSS. Do you have a way of seeing such a thing. And if so, can you teach me how?

    • Wait, who’s Stephanie Pearl, and can you send me some of those posts? Ha, I kid, but really, who is she?

      I agree with it taking away from the blog, but with the way my mind works, I need to think of things as I am writing them, and have to discipline myself to write every day. Only for my own personal reasons, not because I feel that people require it. I can usually think of something while I’m babbling away, but for the days I can’t, or just can’t get the time, I rely on photos or guest posts. I wish that more people would write little stories about their lives/loves/days, but I guess not everyone is as passionate about writing as I am. One friend of mine started her own blog, and I might see if she will throw a guest post in once in a while.

      I am still trying to find out about this RSS, because until today, I thought it was the same as email. I guess that maybe I have more subscribers than I thought. Who gets the sex story?

      • Stephanie Pearl, of “Yours in So Many Words,” one of your fellow Liebster winners.

        And I wasn’t speaking of you when I mentioned writing every day, but others, which I’d rather not speak ill towards publicly.

        And regarding RSS, I’m still trying to figure out how to track that shit myself.

  3. I require you to write everyday! I need my Birdman fix! I go into withdrawls when I don’t get my hit.

    *starts shaking*

    Please don’t stop blogging everyday!! Give an addict his fix!

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