I completely fucked the dog last night, and coincidentally remembered how addictive Tropico is. It’s this old strategy/sim game that I absolutely love. I bought it for $1 at a yard sale back in around 2003, and I played it for at least a year, solidly. By far the best value for the money that I’ve ever spent on a video game.
I played it last night until 3 AM, and then went in and thought about it for another half hour. I’m not letting myself play it today, at least until I get some stuff written for today and tomorrow. It’s really cool, because in the game you are a dictator in some Banana Republic, and you have several different scenarios that you can do. The main thing is, in any of the modes of play, is to stay in power.
I really believe that I could play that game forever and never do every possible scenario. You can be one of many famous dictators in the free play part, and you can set your island to whatever difficulty setting you want, in thousands of combinations. I like being Che Guevara, because I’m a motherfucking rebel, yo, and the people really love him, so there’s less chance of them revolting against me as I turn their beloved island into a strip-mined, soil depleted tourist attraction.
Oh yeah, I also wanted to talk about Movember. We’re now in the final third of the month, and I am starting to panic. I want to earn $1000 for cancer research, but we are still a little ways off. Because I am serious about this, I am pleading with you to make me do things for money.
Do you live near me? I will come over to your home and let your dog lick inside of my mouth for an undisclosed amount of money towards our Movember campaign. Come on, you name it, and there’s a good chance that I’ll do it. There’s an even better chance that I’ll put it on the blog, because let’s face it, I’ve been slacking as of late, and some degrading shit isn’t going to hurt the numbers, if you know what I mean. Want me to rake leaves in my long johns? Okay, but only if you take pictures and put them on the internet.
What’s that? You don’t live near me? I have a webcam and Google+. We can do it via Hangouts. I’ll have your name painted across my saggy tits, while you call me names and degrade me. How much? $50. Hell, I will even haggle on that. Come on folks, there has to be some time that I offended you, that you’ve been seething about for months. Take it out on me now. For charity. It will feel good.
If you don’t want to degrade me for money, you could always get me to brighten up someone’s day by getting Mrs. Birdman to dress me up all foolish-like and take some photos of me doing silly faces, to send to whoever you want, or to you if that’s your thing. People love surprise cheering up photos. Probably. I’ve never sent one before, but I think I’d like it.
Anyhow, I’m going to go now. Mull it over for a while, BUT NOT TOO LONG! Movember is almost over.
Oh, I wish I had a pencil-thin moustache, the Boston Blackie kind,
P.S. Oh yeah, don’t forget to send in a Therapy Thursday if you want to see it this week. People ask me about them all the time, but if nobody has any problems, we can’t really solve them. It’s tough on us therapists. 😉