Leave It To Cleaver

mindofbirdman

I don’t even know how to start this, but it needs to be told, so I’m just going to go from the beginning.

I was on Facebook when I saw something come up from Armchair Patriots page in my little right sidebar thing that tells all of your secret conversations with fake Justing Bieber accounts. Don’t worry, I’m sure you weren’t the first to tell him you want to milk his prostate, and you surely won’t be the last. Because they always have funny and thought provoking content on there, and it said “This is fucking nuts” or something to that effect, I just clicked on it without actually looking to see what it was.

What they had shared was an article from The Blaze, and it was a story that was so fucked up, I couldn’t recite it to Mrs. B with a straight face. It’s really whacked out.

As wild as the story is, the news interview with Kai was the piece de resistance. It was so out there that I copied it from Youtube, so in case they took it down, I’d still have a copy to show you.

Here’s the full, uncensored interview in case you don’t want to read the article, but you do want to hear a fucking bizarre story and lots of swearing. There were a lot of people in the comments talking about how foul mouthed he is, and how he’s a piece of shit loser, but I thought the guy was fan-fucking-tabulous. I guess I’m partial to real people, be they flawed or not. I say the guy should get a free bag of weed, an old jeep, and some surfing gear for being awesome.

Right? He cleaved his motherfucking head right open, yo. That shit is fucked up. If Jesus was real, he certainly wouldn’t rape 14 year olds or masturbate in front of schools. He probably wouldn’t want to rid the world of all black people either. What would his reasoning be? They work too hard? He’s fucking Jesus, he don’t care about colour and shit. He’s the Prince of Peace. He wouldn’t snap a woman’s neck like a pencil stick.

I’m glad Kai was there to stop this whack job, and I’m glad he was using the sharp side of the hatchet. I would have brained him with the back or the flat side, but the blade works too, it’s actually the most effective.

Now, at the bottom of the article was a comment section, and it’s way better than mine. I think I need more Republican commenters or something. I took a couple of screen shots for your perusal, and also for some merriment.

Seriously. Pat Alexander is bananas. You know, because  "The Shit is bananas".

Seriously. Pat Alexander is bananas. You know, because the shit is bananas, or the bananas are the shit. Whatever.

 

Searching For The Truth? Not as much "The Shit\', as he is just plain shit.

Searching For The Truth? Not as much “The Shit’, as he is just plain shit.

That’s it for today, kids. If you have any Therapy Thursday stuff for us to figure out, please let us know. We want to help you so bad that it hurts.

We bury the hatchet, but leave the handle stickin’ out,

Birdman

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8 thoughts on “Leave It To Cleaver

  1. Way to go Kai! Just saved the justice system a ton o’ cash and saved a few lives to boot it sounds. West Virginia doesn’t have to many surfable beaches, no wonder the dude is a travelin’ man!

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