Happy Somewhat Anniversary as well. I say “somewhat” because it’s been about two years since we started dating. Two years, and you’re still here. Well, I guess it’s your house so that only makes sense, but wow, that’s a long time.
Yesterday you told me to go back two years and ask myself if I could imagine that I’d be here now, a month away from being married and driving around in a mini-van with my fiance and two little girls? The answer is a firm “NO”. I honestly thought I’d be in New Brunswick, maybe living in this place, hopefully dating someone that wasn’t into headgames, and driving loads of frozen potato products around the country. That’s just where I thought I’d be. It seems like a good life for a single guy, who oddly enough, had had enough of women.
Would I change any of it?
Not on your life. I have the best possible existence for me. I have never been happier, and look forward to waking up every day, because I get to spend it with you. I love that I have a hand in raising your beautiful daughters, and I hope upon hope, that I won’t be deficient in this challenge. Those girls hold such promise for the future, that it almost makes my heart burst with pride. I love how well everyone works together for them, and they don’t have to listen to constant fighting or mud-slinging to get a negative impression of what I hope will be a perfect life for them.
Many nights, I have had to listen to you question your parenting skills. “What if I did this wrong?, or “What if they grow up to hate me for not letting them …?”
I have said this before, and I will say it again.
How could they? You give them structure, love, and friendship. How could anyone hate a person who provides these things for them? It’s impossible. I’m not saying they aren’t ever going to say they hate you, or me for that matter, but they won’t mean it. They are quite possibly going to do several things that seem hateful and destructive, but that’s not what is in their heart. You are the best thing that could possibly happen to them, and they are going to pick up many of your best characteristics over the course of their life. This will be the biggest compliment you will ever receive in your life.
You asked me to look back to two years ago. I’m going to ask you to do the same. You were a (mostly) single woman, who was trying to raise two young girls by herself in a little apartment. I was proud of you for even attempting that. They didn’t even know (for a year), that we were ever dating, because you didn’t want to set the example that men just happen along and breeze through a woman’s life. That’s one of the main reasons I’m still here, and one of the main reasons that I never question your parenting skills.
Everything you do is calculated. I don’t mean like some others calculate things, such as trying to figure out how a decision will benefit themselves. I mean that you are always looking at what the positive and negative impacts will be on your babies. Always. That’s fucking commendable.(Sorry, I realized I hadn’t sworn yet.) There are not a lot of people that can honestly say that they do that. The ones that do, are good parents, or would be good parents. We know several of these people, and I’m proud to call them friends. Sadly, I know more of the other type. The ones who have children, but maybe the children come after something else, such as: work, partying, laziness, etc… Whatever selfish thing it is, you don’t have it.
I like to think that I have a knack for ferreting (Sidewinder reference) out good people, and surrounding myself with them. It is no different with you. Two years ago you asked me why I liked you. It didn’t take me long to come up with a list, but if you remember the list, being a good mom was one of the top reasons. I think that being a good parent is tantamount to being a good person.
I’ll reference another event that happened three years ago last week, but only because of the relevance to this post. One of my best friends, and one of the best dads that I know had a near-death experience. (Start here) Now, Aaron was a smoker. He had switched to cigars years earlier, but it’s not like they are better for you. After we made it onto the bank and got our breathing back to normal, he looked at me and said that he was out of breath, and scared that he was going to die, and leave his wife and baby boy without a husband and father. He then said that he was quitting cigars, because that was something that he could do to try and give himself a better chance at living. He didn’t once say that he was afraid he’d never get to go golfing, hunting, or work again. He was afraid he would leave his family without him. That was seriously one of the proudest moments of my life, although one of the scariest. I was always a huge fan of the big man, but that moment will forever be etched in my memory for solidifying my choice in friends.
That’s the kind of proud I am of my choice in you. Not only are you my perfect match in all manners of love, you are the second best mother I know. You know the first, so you’ll understand that coming a nose behind her is a great tribute. The reason I chose to associate the anniversary of our first date on mother’s day, and not May 5th, the day we went in the river, is because such a great mother should be honoured with a fitting anniversary landmark, and not a time associated with trauma and peril.
Even though I will remember our first date, because Aaron called me, as he does every year, while we were on it to wish me a happy “day we survived the Peace” anniversary, I will always celebrate it on mother’s day, because that is how I think of you. (Not more than a lover, though. Don’t get me wrong. )
Mama tried to raise me better, but her pleading I denied, and that leaves only me to blame, cause Mama tried,