Guys Get Abused Too

 

The problem is that guys rarely admit it, or admit that it really hurts. Seriously, other than when a guy is trying to get laid, you don’t very often hear him say, “I really fell for this girl, and she told me we had something special, but then she only called me once a week when she was horny, and didn’t have anything better to do. I’m not a piece of meat you know. One day she finally confessed that she never really liked me, and had been banging two other guys on the side.”.

Nope, guys will play that shit off. It would go something like this: “Haha, fuck that was a sweet gig I had going there. Every Tuesday night, she’d call me up, horny like a bitch in heat, and she’d be gone by ten. She was the perfect woman, and she’d always leave me a six pack in the fridge. One day she came over with jizz stains on her pants, so I told her to hit the fucking road, because I don’t take no sloppy seconds. Fucking whore.”

Seriously. I’ve done it. I’m sure we all have at one time, well the ones with a soul, anyhow. No one likes to admit that someone didn’t like them enough to enter a relationship. It’s in our nature to lash out, and try to make it like we were the ones who ended it.

I'm not getting a girlfriend wearing those glasses

I’ll admit that sometimes I did end it, but most times I didn’t want it ended at all. In the end, it turns out that women can’t handle honesty as much as they think they can. Other than my last long term relationship, I was never with the same girl for more than two months, and it was usually because I would really like them, tell them about it, and they would get freaked out and bolt. Oh goody, another one takes off, carve a notch in the belt, and let’s go to Copperfields to find another temporary girlfriend.

It seems like everyone was playing head games, and they still are in this day and age, at least that’s what the Young Female Professional(YFP)  tells me. I know it’s true though, because before I had met Mrs Birdman, I had been in several dating/romantic situations with women. Every single one of them came with games of some sort, and with games comes abuse. When you are giving someone everything, and they are trying to get the upper hand, as so many “dating experts” are telling us to do, they are going to be abusing the honesty and kindness of the person that they are trying to manipulate to their will. I know, because I have been on both sides of the fence on this. When I was young, we were all told to not give a girl your heart, because she’ll crush it and leave you bleeding. This turned out to be true, because we all had it happen to us. You’d fall for a girl, and then some better looking specimen would come along, and *POP*, your bubble just burst. This was the way it was throughout high school.

Your heart hardens up pretty quickly after a few rounds like that, and then you start dealing with relationships at arms length, and then it’s the girl that gets hurt. You don’t care by then, because you start to think that girls deserve it, and you just walk all over them at every given chance. I’m not saying it’s right, but it does happen. Very few people ever end up with their first love, because we are not mature enough at that age to handle the emotions that we experience, and definitely don’t know how to communicate them properly. Ergo, it always ends up going poorly for someone, and sometimes that someone is me.

I’ll tell you a little story about a pretty girl I once knew. I worked at a place near her house, and at times she would do work there too. One weekend we were at a conference type thing in Toronto and there was drinking. After we had done the drinking, we wound up in the same hotel bed, but nothing happened because it was a double room, and our manager was in the bed beside us. We talked… a lot. She was amazing, and everything that came out of her mouth was what I wanted to hear. We arranged to have a date on the following Saturday, and because she lived about half an hour away, she was going to leave work and get ready at my place. She showed up with an overnight bag full of all kinds of necessities, such as condoms, juice, several pairs of underwear, weed, and a toothbrush. You know, the usual date bag.

We frolicked

So things were looking good for the Birdman, and we went out for dinner, drinks, a few games of pool, and then back for a night of awesome. Everything was perfect. We both had the same type of personalities, and our sense of humour was very similar. The sex was good for both of us (I thought), and we made plans for later in the week. It was phenomenal, and the best match for me to date. Week two had us going out again, and when the night came, she was nowhere to be found. Cell phones weren’t around then, like they are now, so I had no way of getting a hold of her. She showed up just after 11PM and was giddy with excitement. She told me that she had just gone and broken up with her boyfriend, because things were going so well with me. Huh? Boyfriend? I must have stood there with a dumbstruck look on my face for a while, because she then explained that he was a piece of shit, and she wanted to start fresh with me, and be totally honest from now on. Oh, okay, luckily that’s exactly what I want too.

After that things went weird, but in increments, nothing was all at once. The first weekend she was a recreational pot smoker. No problem here; let he who is without sin, cast the first stone, right? Then she was breaking up with her boyfriend after we had been together for just over a week. Alright, she has some trust issues or something, but I can deal with it. Week two she tells me that she maybe lied about the weed being recreational, and that she smokes it nearly every day. Yeah, whatever, just keep getting your freak on. Week three, and this fucking douchebag gives her his number at the bar, and she laughs it off because the guy is obviously a loser to give her his number when she is clearly with me. I explain the trouble that would await her with him, citing the several arrest reports in the paper, and the amount of illegitimate children he has running around. Week five was okay, and week six, and she doesn’t show up for a date, I start to worry, and call her house. Her mother tells me that she left for her date hours ago, and I then start to think of all the bad things. She’s been in a wreck, she has been abducted by the Moonies, you name it.

An hour goes by, and she’s not in any reported accident, or at the hospital, and I get a call from the guy that gave her his number. Apparently he didn’t like the fact that I was spreading this bullshit about him doing all of this stuff, and that she was his girlfriend now, so I had better stay away from her.

Yeah, it was the best I could find

THUD!!!

That was the sound of my heart imploding in my chest. WTF just happened? I composed myself, called him a stupid fucker, told him to keep that other stupid fucker, and both be stupid fuckers together. He was then going to come and kick the piss out of me, so I told him that I’d be down at Kelly’s Homelike, and that he could meet me there. It turns out that she started banging him the night after he gave her his digits, and that they were an item now. I was completely floored, and it took me years to even start trusting again. It wasn’t like she was the first, but she definitely sealed the fates of all women that came after her.

I’m not saying that girls are to blame for all relationship troubles, but I am saying that it isn’t always the guy’s fault. Until everyone learns to communicate properly with others, we are always going to have these struggles with the opposite sex. I’m just glad that I don’t have to worry about it anymore.

No time ever seems right, to talk about the reasons why you and I fight,

Birdman

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9 thoughts on “Guys Get Abused Too

    • That’s my main reason for marrying Mrs. Birdman. She not only has all of her digits, but a bag full of dried ones that belonged to the men who treated her wrong.

  1. It’s good to hear things from the guy’s side. Just proof that women (me included) can be shallow, horrible bitches with our mind games. Thankfully that part of my life is over, as is yours now that you’ve found Mrs. B.

    • Yep, it makes me smile when people finally figure out that you can just be real, and not put on a game face when it comes to love.

  2. If you keep drawing these parallel life experiences, I’m going to need to go back to my shrink..
    Fuck sakes, dude, we are way too much alike now as well as THEN.
    Even the picture you put up…( I have one being sent to me that I’ll post when I get it. )

    I dated someone who I had developed strong feelings for…Her ex used to hang around every so often and I’d see him talking to her, making her laugh etc and she said they were ‘ just friends now ‘ and I trusted her.

    One day I went to call on her at the rooming house she was living at and she came down the stairs asking why I was there…In a freaked out kind of way.
    My heart sank into my gut like a bowling ball. This guy came down the stairs ( not knowing I was there ) while putting his socks on…Her hair was a mess as she said she was taking a nap. Right, okay, maybe I guess.
    I decided to move past it best I could as I have abandonment issues and lied to myself that I was okay with what just happened or maybe happened…

    After her and I decided to go our separate ways, I saw her out with him at every bar I tried to avoid her in…I found out later that she was with him frequently while with me for 2 – 3 months…How did I know this?
    THEY both told me. I was her something to do/fling while she figured out if she still loved him or not.

    Fuck, typing this out is harder than I thought it would be.

    It’s hard for me to trust some people now.
    I have issues with people telling me things ‘ after the fact ‘ of them being done and that I am the one who needs to learn to deal with it.
    Which I am learning to do, slowly. Very slowly.

    Abuse leaves of scarred in many ways.

    Your best post yet.

    Your My Brother from another Mother.

    Thanks Birdman.

  3. If I had a nickel for every time I have been cheated on or lied to/led on/been played by a girl, I’d have twenty cents or so.

    Perhaps I didn’t use the correct saying there, but my point is that I definitely know the pain of having my heart abused.

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