Fox Friday – 30 Nights Of Paranormal Activity With The Devil Inside The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo

Yep. I watched and reviewed this movie. First, if you haven’t watched the movie, check out the trailer.

It doesn’t look horrible, right? Maybe a bit dumb, but all of those parody movies look foolish to the average person.

I loved all of the Scary Movies that I have seen, which were 1,2, and 3, but I understand that to a lot of people they are asinine and idiotic. Sometimes I just want to veg out and watch some mindless, over the top humour.

Well, mindless and over the top, this might have been. Humourous, not at all. If it wasn’t so filthy, kids might have liked it, because they aren’t evolved enough to see past the failed attempts at potty talk, and brief appearances of celebrity lookalikes.

I don’t know this writer/director that goes by the name of Craig Moss, but he did a horrible job with this. I mean, I wanted to find him on a chatroom and troll the shit out of him, even though I hate trolls and know it’s wrong. Luckily I can’t find anything out about the guy, despite the fact that he’s done at least three movies, or I might have. No Wikipedia page, IMDB bio, nothing. Just a little bit in a behind the scenes special feature that showed him in a Canucks hat. There was probably something else, but that was the only memorable thing for me.

Uh huh, even the special features were shit. I knew I shouldn’t have watched it. Gadget texted me that it wasn’t even worth putting in the DVD player, but I marched on. I had to. I even watched the whole thing, to give it a fair chance, when all I wanted to do was shut it off shortly after it started.

You know who should see this? People whose doctors have ordered them to not smile for an hour and a half.

“But Birdman, French Stewart is in it. He’s funny as fuck.”

Oh, French. Why have you forsaken yourself?

Oh, French. Why have you forsaken yourself?

Yes, yes he is, or was, anyhow. I loved French as that asshole in Third Rock, and in Love Stinks. I enjoyed that movie in general, but I think he particularly did a great job as Seth.

This isn’t Third Rock or Love Stinks though. The problem that we are faced with here is that he’s hardly in this, his lines aren’t funny at all, and he has maybe given up on life.

I’ll admit that this movie may have been lost on me, because of the constant pop culture references, but I can honestly say that I didn’t laugh at all through the entire film. I did find one of the farts funny, but not enough to actually laugh at. It’s pretty sad when even fart jokes are lost on me. Maybe I’m getting immune to them, I don’t know, but the ones in this movie just didn’t do it, and there were plenty to choose from.

Just horrible acting and writing. I have internal bleeding because of this film

Horrible acting and writing. I have internal bleeding now, because of this film

I didn’t recognize anyone else in this piece of work. I’m not saying that actors need to be well known to be good, but if you are using no name actors, you should get ones that are fairly decent at their craft. You shouldn’t grab a slew of less than mediocre talent when you have an estimated $3000000 budget, unless they are the only ones who read the script and agreed to sign it, as is entirely possible here.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t watch it. You should. It may be just the kind of movie that you love. It’s gotta be worth watching, just to just be able to tell your friends all of the moronic details while you complain about it at work. If you have a job. I don’t have one right now, but I wish I did.

Hmmmm! I should see if Craig Moss is doing another film soon. I’m sure I could get work on that; you probably just need to show up.

Away, away with fife and drum, here we come, full of rum,

Birdman

P.S. Anyhow, if you want to watch the movie to see for yourself, put a comment in below and I’ll send you this copy. If on the odd chance that more than one person comments, then we’ll draw for it. or something. I don’t know.

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8 thoughts on “Fox Friday – 30 Nights Of Paranormal Activity With The Devil Inside The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo

  1. Oh, lordy. I was only a fan of the 1st Scary Movie because it was a creative spin on the horror genre, but I wasn’t all that into the other 2. They’re good movies for when I’m taking a sick day because that’s when they’re usually on air, in the middle of the day.

    I didn’t have any intension of seeing this film, but I was interested in what it might be like. Thanks for enlightening me. But, if you want a movie that takes the same approach to horror movies, I suggest Club Dread, it’s by Broken Lizard (the guys who made Super Troopers and Beerfest).

    • Best worst movie ever?

      Starship Troopers. I get sucked into watching it every time it is on TV then beat myself up for watching such garbage.

    • Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t think that they were cinematic masterpieces or anything, but they had enough good actors and gross out humour to keep me chuckling throughout.

      I just looked them up on Wikipedia, and it was 1, 2, and 4 that I saw. I thought the one with Dr. Phil and Shaq was 3.

      As for the Broken Lizard stuff, I will check them out. I’ve seen pieces of Beerfest and Super Troopers, and obviously didn’t like them enough to watch, but didn’t hate them enough to remember them.

  2. I wanted to watch this movie but then I decided to put mercury in my eyeballs instead to simulate the experience.

    Now I don’t think I have to tell you that we both love parody. But it’s amazing to me how hard it is for people to pull it off. Stuff like this is great as a sketch comedy bit – 3 minutes tops, get in, get out, laugh hard. But for an hour and a half, wow, kill me. Could you imagine one of our posts going on for almost 2 hours? At the end even *I’d* be miserable and wanting to kill myself and I’d be the one writing it!

    • Dude! I wish there were three minutes of laughter in this movie. There was seriously none. I would rather watch One-leg Craig shoot heroin and fuck that goat of yours for 2 hours than watch this movie. It was truly painful and boring. The lesbian scenes made me angry for fuck sake. That is unheard of.

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