It’s been over a month since my last post.
I know that it doesn’t matter, but I’m leading up to something big.
Well, big for me.
I went to a blogging conference in Winnipeg on the weekend, and I learned a lot. It blew my mind.
This is my last post on Change The Topic that is going to have swearing in it.
Hear me out.
I have been very unfair to you, the readers. I realized this when I lost my passion for blogging in December. It wasn’t that I had lost my desire, but I had grown weary. I felt as though I wasn’t blogging for me any more, because I was watching what I was writing too closely. I was afraid to write about things that I had written about before, like how much I love my family, how depressed I get sometimes, and how much I love my friends. I thought that it would be too repetitive to write about how we
letbeg the government to fuck us over on a daily basis, or how we are too self centered to quit buying tons of cheap shit that we can’t afford, just so we can seem like we’re rich.
But that’s the shit that I want to write about.
Sometimes I want to stop the fracking and tarsand abomination so bad that I sit at my computer and cry with frustration, and I want to tell you to open your fucking eyes and see what is happening to our planet in the name of greed.
But I can’t, because that’s hypocritical of me, and until I start making a real difference myself, I can’t get mad when you don’t care about anything except how you’re going to afford the gas in that new Denali outside.
Or can I?
Maybe I can, I don’t know, but I need to have a place that I can write what I want to, without worrying that some relative is going to tell my sister that she doesn’t like how I am always criticizing the Catholic church.
Fuck. Don’t even get me started on that shit.
Here’s the thing though.
Some people like to read the nice posts with no swearing. They like to believe that everything is pure in the world, and cursing or blasphemy is boorish and the work of the devil, or maybe they just feel uncomfortable with it. That’s their choice.
On the other hand, some people like to see me go off the deep end in a rant that would make The Bloggess* look like Mary Fucking Poppins, or maybe a photo blog of me getting pretend ass-raped by a burly dude in the woods.
* I saw her speak this weekend, and she was the real deal.
And some people like them both.
Those are my people.
Those are the people I used to write for. They understand that people have dimensions and depth, and they know that everything isn’t always nice. Sometimes it’s absolute shit.
Yeah, I know we always say that we write for ourselves, but if that were true, I would have 800000 words on this computer, and would never have published my first post to the web.
Nope, I write for you, and for validation.
I need to feel like I’m good enough, and writing gives me that. I also want to make some new friends. 🙂
Rich friends that might buy Gadget and I a huge warehouse and studio for storing and creating shit. His garage is kind of full.
When I started Change The Topic, it was going to be some way for me to document my transition from a city trucker to whatever I was going to be. I still don’t know what that is, and I may never know.
I don’t even care.
I have made so many friends, because of this blog, that I will never be able to fully wrap my head around it. People that I truly like and care about. I may not get a chance to hang out with them as much as I’d like, but that doesn’t change anything. I see them on Facebook, Google+, and occasionally Twitter. They make me laugh, cry, and think, and when they post things about their struggles or triumphs, I feel that shit. I will be forever grateful for the connections I’ve made here.
This leads me to my next point, even though you probably didn’t think I had one.
I’m starting another blog.
I am keeping Change The Topic, because I love it, but I am only going to post nice and positive things on here. That way, I don’t need to ostracize anybody, and people can read nice, positive things if I ever write any. I will also be starting a blog that will be my grittier side. The side I lost. The part of me that exaggerates my sex drive, pot use, and partying for the sake of a laugh. The facet of my ego that will try to talk Scooter into wearing a thong while standing on the corner and selling weed. (Please?)
I really miss that, and I want to get back to it. If you are interested in checking that out, feel free to like the Facebook page and help me get that shit flanged up. I will be making a G+ page as well, but they are a little stickier, so I’ll wait until we have a name and a domain.
If you don’t have Facebook and want me to let you know when things are up and running, send me an email at birdman (at) changethetopic dot com, and I’ll put you on the list.
Fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me,