Jun 18

I don’t know where to start

I really don’t. It’s been a crazy couple of weeks, and as you can see from my baby’s beautiful post last week, we had added excitement for the wedding. We didn’t want it, but we got it anyhow.

I was almost afraid that I would never blog again. I got in the habit of not blogging, but because I hate the thought of everyone moving on, and I know a few of you are wanting to see something about the wedding, I’ll try to keep you interested until I can find the time for a real post. To tell you the truth, we have enough material for a few weeks worth of blog fodder, but I don’t know how many of you could withstand that much awesomeness.

So I’ll start by saying that we got married. In a barn. No shit.

It is really a barn. No cows or anything, but still a barn.

Sawmill Road was there, accompanied by a great local DJ service called DJ Jazzy Bee. Continue reading

Jun 08

Wedding Updates

I am sorry for the lack of posting, but I’m sure you guys understand that it’s been hectic around here. I have had an amazingly amazing week, and it’s just getting better. I will fill you in on what I remember of it.

Picked up Dustin at the airport on Saturday night, and Aaron showed up on Monday night. We have put a ton of miles on the vehicles, picking things up, tux fittings, fishing trips, etc… We’ve been up the river, lost cell phones, and caught a fish. That was one of the stipulations in Aaron’s contract; he wanted to catch a bass. Our river trip was eventful in the fact that we were going for a fish, and then I thought we should take Aaron up to see the Peterborough Liftlocks. In theory this would be a wonderful little trip, but we didn’t realize that the locks close at 4 PM, and the fuel station was on the other side of the locks. It’s okay, we still have half a tank, and we can get some at Willow Bend on the way back.

Well it turns out the fuel tube is too short for the tank, and it runs out of juice at just under half a tank. We found a nice guy that gave me a ride to get more fuel, and we were back on our way. We made it back before it got dark, and we were a bit frozen, but not too bad off. Oh, did I mention that it stormed a few times? No? Well it did.

Dustin hit the big city for some drag shows, Pride memorabilia, and fun times, and even Melvin got in on some freaky-deaky action. He is one dirty fucking monkey.

The barn looks amazing, thanks to the greatest group of friends that anyone could ever ask for. There isn’t a moment goes by that we aren’t humbled by the love that everyone is showing us. We are so damn lucky to have the friends that we have, and we will never be able to repay you all for what you have done, but we will definitely keep trying.

Gotta run and get the freezer full of ice now.

Way down below there’s a half a million people,


Jun 05

Live from Wedding Central ~ 4 Days Out

Hello Kittens!

It’s CRUNCH TIME!  We’ve collected groomsmen from the airport, assigned everyone and their brother a job to do in preparation for the upcoming nuptials.  Things are marching forward and I am caught up in the whirlwind that is the WEDDING TSUNAMI.  (You can giggle all you like,but that’s what it feels like, my darlings!)

I have turned into THAT GIRL.  The one who is freaking out about the colour of dresses and matching tuxes (they don’t match at all, to let you know, and I don’t even care at this point), the logistics of getting around in what may be a grand thunderstorm, and wondering just how big those three teeny, weeny leaks are in the barn roof.  I guess we’ll find out soon!  🙂  The bridal preparations have begun with a fabulous hair colour yesterday, and a multitude of other waxing, plucking and painting of body parts to be done this week.  I will be the most fabulous version of myself that I can muster, and that’s as good as it gets, folks.

I have been talked down from ledges by my favorite ladies, and I am doing my best to keep some perspective.  Who cares if it pours?  Will it matter when I am surrounded by literally everyone I love in the world?  Not likely.  I am going to enjoy every second of it, and I hope our guests will too.

We went to the barn yesterday to see how things were looking, and it is grand indeed.  The ambiance is exactly what I was hoping for, and when it fills up with tables, flowers and people, it’s going to be perfect.  I’m so excited.

It's pretty tall...

Seriously...look at this giant box of awesome!!!!

Our guest/relative/friend Judy and her friend Marli have been working on our table flowers for weeks, and the final preparations have begun.  They have been robbing gardens all over town (sorry Mom!) for just the perfect combination of flowers to adorn our glorious tables.  I can’t wait to see them, and I am so glad to have two of the most creative flower-ladies working on our decor.  I hope they do end up making this some kind of career, because they have the excitement and passion that is totally contagious.  I have enjoyed all of the ideas, and have marveled at what they can do.  I really can’t wait to see it all come together after so much planning and agonizing decision-making!  🙂

I wanted to be sure to post so my friends don’t think I am losing my mind or anything.  I am definitely feeling the pressure, but it’s a good pressure, and it’s all going to come together beautifully.  We have the worlds greatest friends and family behind us and there is no way it can go wrong.  I don’t care if it pours, if the cake slides off the table, if our guests end up making out in the video booth…it’s ALL GOOD!  🙂  (ps. We totally encourage making out in the video booth, if you were wondering!)


Mostly, I can’t wait to marry the man that I love more than anything (other than my kids) in this world.  It has been the most amazing ride getting here, and I know the future will be even more wonderful.  I am so looking forward to meeting some guests that have become as ‘real’ as our friends and family, and we already love them.  I also can’t wait to hug everyone, to thank you for coming, and to let you know that I couldn’t imagine doing this without you all.  We are the luckiest people I know, and we will never take that for granted.

Who’s the lucky girl?  Well it’s me, of course…  😉

“I’m lucky I’m in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been”

Mrs.Birdman  🙂

Jun 04

We Picked Up A Groomsman

Scooter and I went to the airport to pick up Dustin on Saturday night, and spent a few hours toodling around the city in hopes of adventure. We managed to secure an 8-ball of coke and some E from a dude at the bus stop, but Scooter got ripped off, and we ended up snorting baking powder and popping some Levitra. Not a good scene at all. We drove around looking for hookers for a few hours, until the pills wore off, but by then it was time to go home.

As you can probably guess, we didn’t really do all of that stuff, but we did pick up my groomsman, Dustin. I am telling you this because we are getting married in five days, and I won’t be blogging much for the next week. I’ll try to put up a few updates here and there, but on the whole we aren’t going to to have very much time for anything but getting ready for the wedding.

Aaron is showing up today, and we will be getting tuxes fitted tomorrow. There’s barn prep, sightseeing and now meal worm watching. Yep, last night we found meal worms in the washroom, and have since emptied the cupboards, washroom, drawers, floors and anything else we could think of [WHY DO YOU HAVE TO TELL EVERYONE ABOUT THE MEAL WORMS?  :S  SOOOO GROSS] (You may have guessed that while I was taking the girls to the bus, my future bride decided she would read and comment on the blog post. I’m leaving it in, as you already know.)

Yep, we found about a dozen of these buggers. Nice, eh?

Meal worms are the larvae of the pantry moths, but luckily we didn’t get the moths… YET! I hope we never do, but I guess we will deal with that if it happens. It’s not clear exactly where they came from, or what food they were in, but to be safe, we threw out everything that wasn’t sealed in the cupboards and pantry. I hate wasting food, but I hate listening to an already stressed out woman bellowing about how gross the house is, how this is just perfect timing, and how she doesn’t need this shit right now, even more. Anyhow, this is what we’re up against at the moment, and as long as they don’t infiltrate The Cocoon, we should be just tickity boo.

I’m going to get off of here, and try to get some shit done, but just thought I’d update you on how things are going. I’ll try to post a short update each day, and if any of you folks have a story you’d like to put up while I’m on hiatus, I would really appreciate it. You know I’ll keep your name a secret if it’s especially juicy.

Going to the chapel and we’re gonna get ma-a-arried,


May 29

Welcome to GDub’s Non-Typical Shower/Bachelorette Party!

I have to admit, I’ve had great anxiety about parties in general.  I’m a terrible hostess, and I couldn’t co-ordinate two dishes to hit the table at the same time to save my life, let alone a dozen, so when it comes to making merry, I prefer to be a guest rather than a hostess.  Luckily for me, my great friend, (and occasional drunken co-conspirator) Penny is a FABULOUS hostess with a home that is just made for entertaining.  As it turns out, the Gadget household was offered up as the perfect spot for the bachelorette party, where all of the food, fun, and frolic would be taking place.

The usual suspects.

My old buddy from university, LaLa (code name as she is a respectable sort of lady, and shouldn’t be associated with these types of shenanigans) came down early Saturday to hang out and eventually attend the party with me.  JSim, my trusty MOH and frequent traveling companion, (we will have to tell the story of blending our shakes at the BK #101618Q drive thru parking lot in Strassburg, VA another time), arrived just in time to hitch a ride to Penny’s.  I will share the textual message correspondence we shared earlier in the day when I got a whiff of the fact that she might not be joining me in some alcohol consumption.

I'm a big one for respecting a persons choice to stay sober. Just not on my bachelorette party night.

So with a tiny bit of arm twisting, I had managed to get my out-of-town girls committed to some serious overindulgence!  Score one for Bridezilla.  🙂

We arrived at the glorious function ready to party.  JSim (MOH) had a pile of Buddha Dogs for our eating enjoyment, which she claimed were the worlds best hotdog’s, or so the makers of these dogs would have you believe.  (They were pretty good, I have to admit).  I did have a photo of one of them, but it was a pretty unappetizing shot, and they really were better than they looked, so I am going to let you run with your imagination on this one.

Anyhow, back at the party things had already started to get jiggy.

We be ridin' dirty by 8pm...

Things just got better and better from there.

There was good food, good drinks, and great entertainment...

There was also some kissin', some dry-tubbin', and some more shots...

We were having a blast.  Things went on like this for a few hours, with the crowd getting progressively drunker (well, most of them), and the party getting louder and louder.

Then there was some more shots. And some more...

So clearly there aren’t too many sober drivers left, but we managed to fill the cars with the drunks in the back and the sobers in the front, and to the old faithful local watering hole we went.

We might have had our way with 'Mater' on our way into the bar

When we walked in, we more than doubled the occupancy, and we completely overtook the back room and pool table.  As luck would have it, this weekend was also the Apple Blossom festival weekend, so we shared our watering hole with the Carnival fellers who were in town for a few glorious days of drinking the local beer and seeding the local women.  I don’t know if you’ve ever partied with carnies, but they are a pretty fun bunch.

We ended up with an epic game of Carnies VS Bachelorettes.  For future reference, never bet against a bachelorette party.

We had our secret weapons:

Denise ‘The Grifter’, Dancing Mel Killman, and JSim’s formidable cleavage.

Our WINNING line-up...Get ready to lose your loonies, boys.

I am really not making this shit up, people...

So in between the carnies, cleavage baring, and pool sharking, there was some more drinking.

I met a new friend. He congratulated me on my upcoming nuptials. I drank his colourful shots, but I was careful not to get roofied

I think there may have been some more shots after that too.

Yep. I thought so...definitely more shots.

I think it's time we wrapped this up. Things just don't get any more sober after this...

So I’ll just tell you that I had more fun than I can remember, and I was surrounded by the greatest group of women that anyone has a right to know.  There was so much laughter that my throat was sore the next day from all of it.  There was so much beautiful, amazing energy in one place, I am sure that everyone who was there that night felt it.  We started out by ourselves but by the end of the night, most of the bar had shuffled our way, and we had a blast.  I want to thank you all for the greatest Non-Typical Bachelorette/Stagette party that the world has ever known.  You are all so amazing to come out for it, and to help me celebrate my wedding to the most incredible man I’ve ever known.  My cup runneth over.  Thank you all.  xoxo

Mrs. Birdman in 11 days!!!!

PS.  Did I mention that Lady Kenny Rogers was there?  I am blessed indeed.  🙂

PPS.  In case you haven’t had enough of the party pics, feel free to creep the slideshow below.