Nov 06

Halloween Party 2.0

Well, we had the second Halloween party of the year, and it was a beaut. I say that, because I stayed sober and drove everyone around, so I got to watch and remember what all was going on. That’s right, you bunch of freaky fuckers, I saw what you all were doing. You had better be really damn nice to me from now on. That means all of you.

So, after dinner, and then drinks at Dora and Swiper’s house, we hauled ass to the Castleton Hall for the annual Halloween Dance. It worked out great, because everyone had parties to go to on the Saturday before the big day. This meant two opportunities to wear our fabulous Muppet costumes that Gadget had skillfully handcrafted from PXL Crosslinked Foam. That stuff is very good to work with, but pretty heavy duty for mask making. Mine weighed around 30 lbs, but it was the first one. The rest were a little more trimmed out, and it probably shaved five pounds off of the weight. The Castleton Hall is really cool too, because…


Officer Sassypants is blatantly threatening my baby.

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Oct 29

Anything But Primitive

Long before I was even aware of the internet, I spent my time at bars. For a long time, the bar that I spent the majority of my evenings was called Southbound. I wish I had pictures of it, because it was phenomenal. The decor was from another world, and the owners were too. I believe they were from Bohemia. I was home.

Rhonda was the bar manager, and she was half hippie love child, half barroom brawler, and all awesome. Ron was the free-spirit behind the decor, and a veritable wealth of knowledge if you wanted to know anything about world travel. That guy had been everywhere, or so I thought. They had the best wings that I’ve ever had, and an amazing staff that changed quite a bit, but kept a steady level of awesome throughout.

They also used to travel every year to Southeast Asia for a couple of months and load up a container full of carvings and other oddities that they would find over there. That would get shipped to their place in Grafton ON, and from there, they would truck a load to the market on the Toronto waterfront every weekend. People would go crazy for the stuff they had. It was all very unique, and when you’re in a city of millions, unique is pretty hard to come by.

Fast forward 13 years. Continue reading

Oct 16

Trash The Dress

I guess that now is a good time to tell you that I get a little bit pissed off when I see something being done by one gender or another, but not by both. This is a modern world, full of equality, but there are still certain activities that women seem to be doing exclusively, and I finally got sick of it.

I’m talking about “Trash The Dress”. For those of you who are unaware, I will let Wikipedia enlighten you:

“Trash the dress, also known as fearless bridal or rock the frock, is a style of wedding photography that contrasts elegant clothing with an environment in which it is out of place. It is generally shot in the style of fashion and glamour photography. “Trash the dress” is the art of destruction or deconstruction of a bride’s wedding dress to create a new “artwork” that the bride would be proud to display on their wall. This new “masterpiece” is formed in the creative destruction of the dress. This will normally be portrayed in a sequence of images or simply a single image.”


Well, ladies. What’s good for the goose, is good for the gander. I happened to jump into a shoot with a bunch of models, and they were quite welcoming. Feast your eyes on this.

Only one of my co-models would agree to be on the blog, so here we are.

It’s too bad, because they were all beautiful women, and it’s sad that you can’t gaze upon them. Ah well, such is life.

I want to introduce you to Breasts McGee, the greatest of the models appearing in this shoot. Do you know why? Because she is fucking fierce and fabulous, and her dress isn’t duct taped onto her. She actually fits into things.

The most beautiful and happy bride in the world.

This girl is going to be a star, and it won’t take her long to get there. Just look at these two shots. Continue reading

Oct 15

When You Find “The” Spot

You know the one I’m talking about. Don’t you? When worlds start coming together, and you see that look in your partner’s face. That look that says “All is right with the universe now. I am fulfilled.”

I saw that look the other day on Mrs. Birdman’s face, and it was awesome. She almost looked awestruck, which is a new look for her, because it takes a lot to impress her. I guess I should mention that we had a very excited, married friend with us for this little tryst. They don’t want their face or name in here for obvious reasons, so we had to be very careful with the camera. It was kind of sneaky, because they parked their vehicle in a grocery store parking lot and walked over, so as not to raise suspicions, and that added to the naughtiness. I’m pretty sure their spouse didn’t know about this at the time, even though I’m sure they do now. How could you not tell about something so fun, so new, so freeing?

I am telling anyone who will listen, because it was something I had never done before, but will definitely try it again if I get the chance. Yes, you guessed it.

We went for lunch at End Of The Thread in Brighton, Ontario.

From the moment we walked in, to the moment we got in the van to go home, we were marveling at all of the amazing things in there. We went in because Mrs. B had some friends bring her a sandwich from there one day, and she loved it. When our unnamed friend asked if we wanted to go to Brighton for lunch, we jumped at the opportunity. I didn’t know where we were going, but it doesn’t matter when you’re in the company of greatness. My sweet darling asked if we could go there, and we reluctantly said that we didn’t mind.(She was buying.)

This is what you’re looking for. No, not a short, fat guy in jogging pants and a hoody. The store.

The store is located at 15 Main St. in charming downtown Brighton. It’s right across from Sobeys, which is the only place around that you can get Vernors Ginger Ale in the area.

Here’s a view of the order counter. We placed our orders here. That’s what you do at an order counter.

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Oct 03


If you have missed the first part of this, CLICK HERE

Can you believe that someone would stoop so low as to kidnap such a beautiful trophy from such a wonderful team? I think that someone should contact the authorities about this. Not me, just because I don’t need to attract any more attention to myself, but someone sure should. These brazen bastards mustn’t get away with this sort of thing.

They even had the balls to post photos that we are still trying to understand. We know that J-Roc…

She may look like a lot of fun, but don’t let the look fool you. She’s dangerous.

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