May 08

I Need A New Look (and maybe some advice)

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I’m getting sick of the brain logo. It has bored me for years. I made this one to switch it up,

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but I’m getting tired of just having two. This is where you come in.

I would like to commission someone that knows the blog, to design a new post header for me. Something that I can mix in with the two that I already have.

There shall be treats!

Yes, I will be rewarding people who create anything that I use with rewards. Riches beyond your scope of reality. Treasures that would make any sane person weep.

Or a copy of the book that is in production and a sheet of coupons from A&W.

That’s right, I have a handy friend right now that is compiling all of the posts from the beginning until 2014.

I was doing it for my sweetest baby, because I really didn’t know if I was going to get my wind back or not and she had always said that she would like to have a book with all of the posts in it. I don’t think I realised how many words have been written in this blog.

It’s a lot of them, and they could all be yours. Those or a gift certificate to Rock ‘n’ Bowl. Your choice.

 

Hey, did you notice that the last couple of posts came out closer to lunch time?

Well they did. A good friend was mentioning that she had read up about the times of interaction on social media and thought I should try posting later in the day when most of the blog’s demographic is online. She said that when I post in the morning, people might be rushing around and forget to go back and read the post that I had scheduled for the ass crack of dawn. I only did that, because I enjoy waking up to the odd comment or even group of comments on the odd occasion. It really doesn’t matter to me when it goes out.

I’m really just happy that she thought enough people gave a shit when I post, or try to remember to read it. May the little baby Jebus bless her sweet heart.

Now, on the off chance that what she read was correct, I thought that I would ask you guys and gals when you think I should post it. Do you like to read it while you’re having your morning squat on the throne, or do you like to sneak it in at work when the boss leaves early? You tell me. If nobody says anything to the contrary, I will keep scheduling at 11:30 AM and hope that it is okay.

Speaking of friends, My buddy Cale has just got his tunes on Google Play Music. That’s some good, easy listening, right there.

Apparently it’s been out on itunes for weeks now, but seeing as I won’t allow any of that filthy Apple software on my computer, I wouldn’t know how to link it for you. The link for Google is RIGHT HERE or you can check out his website at http://www.calecrowe.com to find out where he’s playing. I guess that there’s a cool bonus track on the actual CD from the shows. Other than that, I know he’s on a lot of other social media, so just search his name and he will magically appear.

Oh, and speaking of good, local talent, Shaun “Savvy” Savoy is lighting shit up at The Queen’s Hotel in Colborne tonight. As payment for me telling you this, I will allow you to buy me a beer when you get there.

I know I had some other shit to say, but Mrs. B told me I had to be in bed by one tonight, so I had better get going.

Any man loses his spoon spends a night in the box,

Birdman

Apr 27

The Time Draws Nigh

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Yeah, I can feel it weighing heavy on my heart and mind. It’s the unspoken grief that we can feel as we snuggle in for another night. One of only a few that are left.

For this trip.

I’ll be back in June to start packing everything up and begin our trek to the west. We are hoping to be out there and going by early to mid July, and if things work out the way I hope, I will be driving a school bus that we will later convert to a motor home for some treks up the Alaska Highway, and to meet Skippy and Dancing Queen in the Jasper and Banff areas for some camping and shenanigans.

There are some pretty neat conversions that I’ve found online so far. I might need to learn to weld and do carpentry though. It looks like those are some pretty handy skills when it comes to building an rv.

But enough of that happy shit. Now is the time to mourn.

I have to leave in a little over a week and I really don’t want to. It’s hard to get back into the swing of things, when it seems like I’ve just got into my groove here. I have just gotten used to the feeling of Mrs. Birdman’s warmth and energy in the bed at night, and between her and Blue, I have relearned how to sleep in three square feet of mattress.

How can I go back to having a whole bed to myself?

I’ll also have to get used to the taste of frozen boxed food and pizza again, because I’m sure it will be 85% of my diet. Like usual. There will probably be very few home cooked meals between May 5th and the end of June.

Bah, I’m just being pissy. I have a lot to do while I’m out there. I have to get my little truck going.

It works, but I need to put a new carb in it. We should get some good camping out of this baby.

I also have to secure us a place to live and get things ready. In a month and a half. Hopefully while working.

When I write it down, it seems a lot harder than it feels. Maybe I should be more nervous than I am. For whatever reason, I just feel like everything will work out fine. We’ll sell or rent the house here, and we’ll buy or rent a house there. No problem, right? It sounds pretty simple, so let’s hope that it is.

Oh, back to the school bus thing. I found some pretty cool blogs from people who are living their dream in a bus.1)Not like the guy from Into The Wild. Here’s a cool post from one of them. Catching Eddies

I’ll leave you with one of my favourites.

Birdman

Awesome footnotes   [ + ]

1. Not like the guy from Into The Wild.
Apr 25

I Don’t Think I Can Save Your Marriage

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I suppose a bunch of you saw a post shared yesterday that stated “Change The Topic saved my marriage”.

That was a screw up, and I am deeply sorry. So deeply.

I didn’t want the post to go public, but it seems like it did. People started commenting with offers of cheap Viagra, penis extensions, and romantic vacations. It amazes me how helpful strangers will be when they think that someone is having marital troubles. Bravo to canadian pharmacy, Caribbean Cheap Vacays, and super vac ENLARGER for at least trying to help before I just deleted everything on them.

What happened was that I saw this widget that would go in the footer of the new email posts (which will be starting with this one). It was going to rotate between a bunch of fake testimonials that I thought would be very funny, but in the end it turned out to be difficult and shitty, so I abandoned the quest.

I haven’t abandoned the testimonial idea, just that particular one. If any of you want to send in your bogus testimonial about how this blog has greatly improved your life, you can go to the contact page, leave a comment here, or email birdman (at) changethetopic.com.1)Apparently using the word “at” instead of @ means bots can’t find your email and abuse you. Whether it’s true or not, I don’t know.

I will be on the lookout for another way to put them on the blog, and into the subscription emails as well. Whether you care or not, I don’t know. What I do know is that I love this song.

The original by Mickey Newbury is excellent and more somber, but this is the first version I had heard, and it’s from one of my favourite albums of all time, so I put it here for your listening pleasure. It’s also a lot clearer than the original, which was recorded in the late 60s or early 70s and probably copied to Youtube directly from vinyl. I suggest that you listen to both, because there is a beauty to the rawness of music coming off of an actual old album that can’t be felt in a crisp digital remastering.

Not that I’m trying to tell you what to do.2)TAKE A LOOK AT GREEN PARTY POLICIES.

Anyhow, as I mentioned earlier, this is the first post using Postmatic, so if at least one of you could reply to this email (if you are a subscriber), I would greatly appreciate it.

Just any sort of comment is fine. You could tell me how much you like my gut, now that I’ve packed on a few more pounds, or you could give your testimonial about how we have changed your quality of life. These are just examples.

Birdman

Awesome footnotes   [ + ]

1. Apparently using the word “at” instead of @ means bots can’t find your email and abuse you. Whether it’s true or not, I don’t know.
2. TAKE A LOOK AT GREEN PARTY POLICIES.
Apr 24

I’ll Email You

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No, not the Two Girls, One Cup video. That was done to me once and I’m still afraid to yawn in public.

My blogmeister friend, Jack has recently started using a plug in called Postmatic to change the way interactions work on his blog. Check him out over at The Jack B and see what you think of his set up. While you’re there, read some of his posts, he has a lot to choose from and he knows what he’s doing.

It’s no secret that I enjoy interacting with most of you, and that I would lov e to get more than an occasional thumbs up or +1 after you have read a post. This new system would send the post to your email if you subscribe to the blog, and then allow you to reply to the email instead of having to click the link and go to the blog to leave a comment.

Do you think that it would be something you would find hip and cool? As cool as Crazy Horses by The Osmonds?

Yeah, I didn’t think so. Nothing is that cool

I try to ignore the fact that they are probably the reason that boy bands became a thing. Well, them and The fucking Monkees.

So last night I went over to Beatbox’s place and he set up my Android TV for me. It is the most beautiful and complex piece of machinery I have ever used and it brings out the nerd in me faster than seeing Han Solo in the new Star Wars trailer. I look forward to a long life of constant upgrades with this baby, and if wasn’t so late, I would have stuck around and rubbed beard oil into his luscious batch of chin whiskers for all the help he gave me.

You can find this shit HERE

You can find this shit HERE

They have some pretty cool stuff for dudes there, and a few fancy things for the ladies. It’s all handmade goodness, too.

Yes, I’m still anti-Walmart and pro small business. Call it a sickness, if you want, but I don’t think that I will ever change my ways. I just can’t see how a global economy helps us as a country. If you can explain it to me, I will try to listen.

Anyhow, my feet are getting cold. I think I’ll go and warm them up on Mrs. Birdman’s legs. She’s like a furnace.

Birdman

Sep 11

Vanilla Thunder With Sprinkles On Top

Yes, I spent the day on Saturday visiting the Merecat and N8Dogg, and then heading over to VT’s for a fish and then birthday celebrations.

Here’s the fish.

We weighed it. It didn’t register. He should be legal by 2020

While we were fishing in the hurricane we saw a massive willow tree break off and crash to the ground on the guy’s lawn. On the drive back to town, we saw two big maples across the road. We helped one guy hook on and drag it out of the way, but the other was a clusterfuck, and because we were still scared from almost smashing into it, we scurried around and booked it for the CDot.

After dropping off the boy, we made for the Beer Store and the LCBO, where we picked up some celebratory libations and then headed for VT’s casa. Continue reading