Nov 06

I almost forgot that it’s Movember 6th

I love Movember, but I sure don’t love how hard this ‘stashe is to keep up. You may have noticed that it’s a bit smaller than yesterday. That would be because I keep thinking one side is slightly longer than the other. Well, now it is. I gave up, I need to use a straight razor or a Bowie knife to shave with. Anyway, here’s what we’re looking at now. Still pretty poor, if you ask me.

I picked the scab on my nose, because I thought it was ready. It wasn't, and quit shaking your head at me. It's not like you have never done that.



Oh yeah, thanks to Jackie-Anne for being the 100th person to like our Facebook page. I still think we should be at 1000, because we are just that cool, but whatever. I’m going back to the cocoon to cry tears of self-doubt.

I’ve got two tickets to paradise,



Nov 05

Saturday, Movember 5th, whatever shall I write about today

You may have figured out that I get lazy on the weekends, yes even lazier than usual, so I don’t really care about having something written, or even thought about the day before. I guess I can write about Tim Minchin and David Allan Coe for a little bit. Tim Minchin is a comedian, pianist and songwriter that we found out about while cocooning last night. One of Mrs. Birdman’s FB friends had posted a video of his, and then we just needed more. I guess we watched half a dozen of them and five of them were hilarious. His songwriting style is very unique and clever, which makes the comedy aspect even wittier. I am constantly amazed at the talent some people possess. It’s one thing to be very funny, smart and clever, which often go hand in hand, but to add in the ability to turn that into a song, and play the piano so well just boggles my mind. He has impeccable timing and delivery and makes it a joy to watch. If any of you like funny shit, I recommend you check him out on Youtube. For those of you who are apathetic, and can’t be bothered to go to all that trouble, here is a link to a couple videos you can watch.

Or this one


As you can see, he’s a very talented dude, and I hope North America will be all over his shit soon. Maybe they already are, but I haven’t seen anyone posting on Facebook until last night, so quit keeping this shit to yourselves if you already know about it. On the other hand, if there is someone you think is very funny, but hasn’t hit the mainstream, let us know about it. We like to laugh, and we can let another 25-30 people know about it. Now onto our next paragraph and subject.

David Allan Coe is a despicable piece of dogshit, and I know this. He is also one of the most talented singer/songwriters I know of. I really wish he wasn’t, and I know he had a hard life when he was young, and has fought society every step of the way, but I still can’t get by the complete lack of couth this guy has. That being said, I’m not trying to glorify or condone his antics, beliefs or way of life, I find them all disgusting and ignorant. I’m just in awe of the way talent is distributed. It doesn’t matter if you are born rich or poor, liberal or conservative, black or white, it just happens to some people. I am going to put up a couple of my favourite DAC songs for you to enjoy. After they are done, if you don’t already know about him, do some research on the internet and find out about his upbringing, deviations, and general absence of respect for anyone. I wonder why this guy is still alive, let alone sitting on a multitude of hit songs that have been covered by so many different artists over the years. I should mention that there is some use of the “N” word in these songs, and I don’t approve of that, but the song was written in a different time and place, and I don’t think it takes away from the quality of the songwriting.


As you can see, whether you like country or not, he has been given, or cultivated a great talent, especially for the upbringing that he had. I’d like to think that the shit he pulls, and his attitude is a show to get publicity, but I’m pretty sure he’s just a redneck, and is quite happy in that role.

Oh right, Movember 5th

Nice 'stache. NOT. (This comment is courtesy of Mrs. B)

and a closer look:

Someone needs to google 'Barbershop Tutorials'

If you didn’t already guess it, Mrs. Birdman was in charge of the Movember part of today’s post. She also thought you all should know about Tim Minchin, so thank her heartily the next time you see her.

I almost forgot, CLICK HERE

I have loved you like a baby,


Nov 04

Movember 4th The day of reckoning

Well, I guess the boss has spoken. I’m going with a cheesy, pencil thin moustache. Thank you to Darcy for the winning photo. I love looking at your pic because it’s soooo skeevy and dirty. I really wanted the “Zappa”, but as soon as Mrs. Birdman saw it, she put the kibosh on that shit. You can come by and get your free hugs whenever you’re in Colborne, or I can put them on layaway. Anyhow, here’s the beginnings of greatness.

The 4th of Movember. Nose wound is healing nicely, Found some dirt on my lip.


Before I go, I’ll get a professional pic done. I know a girl who’s pretty good with a camera, she’s easy but she’s not cheap.

Ladies, did you know that you should be checking your man’s testicles for abnormalities? It should be done at his convenience, and be done in a gentle, teasing manner. There should be some kissing of the nipples and neck, mixed with raspy breathing and telling him what a good boy he is. That is just so he doesn’t feel nervous about getting examined. While this is happening, you should get him to examine your breasts for lumps, you know, kill two birds with one stone. You might as well grab some lube and have a little butt sex while you’re getting each other all randy and shit. Now, I’m going to see how many randoms on the street I can get to examine my testicles. I hope it’s more than last time.(that was 0)

You gotta know when to hold ’em,



Nov 03

It’s the 3rd of Movember already. Tomorrow is the final day to vote, and it looks like it’s a handlebar

That’s just sad. Handlebar is winning with two pitiful votes. Oh well, I guess it means more to me than to others. On a more serious note, because cancer isn’t serious enough, I watched that Judge William Adams video, and it totally sickens me. I cried and had to turn it off partway through. I am making it known publicly that I hope he gets prostate and skin cancer, but doesn’t die from it. I guess if there is a karma, I’m in for it, I shouldn’t say that kind of thing about my fellow man, but anyone who could beat someone, let alone their own child, like that, needs a reality check. I guess if karma is real, then he will get his, and I don’t have to worry about it.

I’m sorry for coming out against karma like this, but I figured the Christians needed a break from my disdain. I think next, I’ll probably attack Scientology, but I’ll need to educate myself on that subject first. Maybe I’ll nail the Jehovah’s Witness to the cross while I’m at it. Do you see what I’m doing here? I’m actually showing contempt, while promising more contempt at a later date. For all of my Christian, Scientologist and Jehovah friends; you know I love you, I just think that religion turns your brain into plasticine for the powers that be to mold. I may have said too much. This is supposed to be a frothy bit about prostate cancer, while I listen to “Echo Beach”.

Look ma, tiny hairs that are able to exfoliate a rhinocerous.


I haven’t been affected by prostate cancer, but I am afraid of it more than any of the others. I’m told that I am a low risk case, because I have an active sex life, and no history of it, but I still think I should be getting my prostate milked on a daily basis. From what I understand, that greatly reduces your risk and supposedly (or is it supposably?) feels fantastic. I guess I’ll find out when Mrs. Birdman gets home. If she turns out to be good at it, maybe she could hold a course for the other ladies. I hope she likes the case of nitrile gloves and lube that I got her for an early Christmas present. What? I think it’s a great gift. She won’t want her bare fingers in there, that’s unsanitary.

Lord I was born a ramblin’ man,



Nov 02

The 2nd of Movember

I’m not very proud of my growth as of yet. I feel like a young boy, or girl for that matter. I hope the people don’t tease me terribly, because of my affliction. Jesus, I ate over a pound of steak last night, so that my body would have enough protein to sprout a little face bush, but then I woke up to this pitiful little stubble. Does anyone have any tips on growing a lush ‘stashe? Maybe if I drink a bunch of beer each day. That used to grow stubble fast when I was younger, or maybe it was because I was drunk for three days at a time. Either way, I had a five o’clock shadow by noon, and that’s what I need now. It’s almost ten, so I’ll be cracking into a case here soon. Stop by if you aren’t doing anything, I’ll just be drinking and putting the shed together. Hahaha, you thought I forgot about the shed, didn’t you? Well, Scotty took me to the Home Depot yesterday and found me a lovely little model, and it’s made in the USA, so at least the money isn’t going to China. Anyhow, check this shit out.

Movember 2nd. When is that wound going to heal?


I’ve had enough of this pussyfooting around. I want you to donate money to my page. I need affirmation, and this is how you can give it to me. I will have photos taken in all kinds of compromising positions for a $20 donation. Why won’t you help? Do you hate men, and secretly want us to die of nut cancer? Go here to have your way with me.


Testicular Cancer

Issue: The incidence of testicular cancer in western countries has increased steadily in the past 40-50 years. The etiology of testicular cancer is not well understood, but there is sufficient evidence to postulate a link with endocrine modulating substances.

Background: Testicular cancer is a rare cancer, with an age-adjusted incidence of 4.2/100,000 in Canada. This accounts for 1.1% of all malignant neoplasms in Canadian males. Despite the low overall incidence of testicular cancer, it is the most common malignancy among young men, 25-34 years old. Testicular cancer varies notably with race, with incidence rates about threefold higher in Caucasians compared to African Americans in the US.

Disease trends: The incidence rate of testicular cancer has been increasing since the middle of the 20th century in many western countries, including Canada, the United States, the Nordic Countries, and Britain. The trend has been especially rapid in eastern European countries such as Slovenia. Countries with a sufficiently long period of cancer registration, such as Denmark, document this trend back to the first half of the 20th century. Despite the increase in testicular cancer in many western countries, the age-adjusted incidence of testicular cancer is low in all populations of the world. The lowest rates have been observed in Asian populations, African Americans, and black populations in general. The incidence rate in Denmark is in the order of 8 per 100,000, while in Japan and China and in African Americans, the incidence rate is on the order of 1 per 100,000. While the increase in testicular cancer incidence is an important cause of morbidity in young males, testicular cancer is one of the most curable of all solid neoplasms. The five year survival rate has increased during the last 30 years from 63% to over 90%. The present case fatality rate is 10-15 percent, and even in metastatic cases, cure rates are as high as 80 percent.

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