Nov 09

Movember 9th, 2012

That’s right, it’s Movember 9th and that can mean only one thing.

We are getting desperate.

As of last night, I have resorted to whoring myself out for donations. For $5 I will put whatever you want me to on my status. It can be on either Facebook, Google+, or Twitter, or all of them if the price is right.. I will leave it there for at least an hour, and if you put it in quotes, I will do it word for word, or maybe you just want me to write down how I feel about you, like Sandra did this morning. Last night, Nancy had me write a post in Shakespearean English, but I’m afraid it fell short. It’s been 20 years since I have actually read The Merchant of Venice, and it was hard remembering the precise words that he used. Irania and Kathy came in late, so I’ll accomodate them later today, I promised Sandra until noon, and then it’s game on.

I’m telling you, folks, it’s warmed my heart with the response we’ve gotten so far, and I want to thank you for that. The people who have donated, the people who will donate, and the people who want to donate, but just can’t for whatever reason. You are all important, and without you reading this, and any other cancer awareness articles, the word doesn’t spread. Sure funds are great, but awareness is key. When you’re aware, you can be proactive.

Gently grab hold of your nuts and give them a good, thorough grope. Get some good lube, and an even better friend, and have yourself an amateur prostate exam/milking. Come on, it can’t be that hard. I went to a little lecture at Sexapalooza last year, and she said that if you have your prostate milked on a regular basis, you will never have to worry about prostate cancer. I’m still a little sheepish, but at least I know I should be doing it. Continue reading

Nov 01

Movember 1, 2012


That’s right, Movember is here again, and we have actually got a team this year. I suppose I should introduce them before we get too far into it.

So young and handsome.

We’ve got Roadie, whose wife, until yesterday, had never seen him shaved and fresh.

He’s also a singer/songwriter, and maybe he will write us a Movember theme song if you folks donate enough to him. (I actually don’t know if he would, but if you donate $50 or more, I would incorporate your name in it.)

We predict that this hairy fella will have a full-blown Grohl by the end of the week.





Maybe not so young, but stoic and handsome nonetheless.

Our next Compadre goes by the name of Scotty P on the blog, and he’s a reader that’s turned into a friend. He shares my love for smoked meat, and helping people live better lives. He does it by giving them sound financial advice, whereas I tend to do it by using snide remarks until they perfect something. Scotty is usually sporting a lovely ‘stache, and if you check out his link that I just put up here, you’ll see that he’s a natural.








Probably not Sean

Next up is Sean Blackler. Sean is a bit of an enigma here, because he joined, and that’s it. We think he joined the wrong team, but because he hasn’t contacted us, we don’t know for sure. No matter what though, we hope he brings in a pile of dough for the movement. If you’re reading this, Sean, get ahold of me through the Harass Us page or on Facebook or something. We need some photos and whatnot.







Giggity Gadget is here now. You know him from such escapades as the Halloween party (go to yesterday’s post), Supair Boogies, and my bromance. He is going to be working on the neapolitan Santana, and we can’t stress enough how happy we are to be having a natural, tri-coloured moustache on the team with us.







Can’t be worse than last year, right?

And there’s me. Birdman. Grower of all types of hair. This is my second official Movember on CTT, and I’m hoping to surpass my last year’s total of $135. That’s $135 that didn’t get spent on beer, shoes, make-up, or mozzarella sticks. 91% of that went to cancer research and awareness, because Movember’s admin costs are 9%, which is low compared to many charities.

This year, I’m going to rock The Zappa, which is the “stache that Scooter voted on last year. I’m getting to it, buddy. I hope I do you proud.






This used to be Shawny Shawn, the dog-faced boy. Until today

Shawn was volunteered by his lady and we couldn’t be happier. (although he looks like he could be) He’s already the front runner for money, and he’s only been on the team for 10 minutes. We’re expecting big things from this guy, and if you go and check out his page, you’ll understand why. That’s right, he’s half bear.







Sethro is our Republican friend. He’s trying his best to give them a more caring feel

Coming at us from west of the border, Sethro is the US contingent, along with his beautiful wife, who promised to not withhold on the kisses if he grew a “lip caterpillar”. You may remember them from such events as OUR WEDDING and some of the vandalism on the 401 overpasses on their way home. We hope that Seth can grow hair in his man spots, but even if he can’t, at least he tried.




John fixes everyone up



Dustin was a groomsman in my wedding, and always seems to be right there when it you need him. Well, not right there, but 4000 kms away, “right there”. Sometimes you can find him slinking around at Becoming Oliver, or wrangling cats and ladies at his swinging pad. We’re hoping that he can convince a few in his harem to kick over some of their ducats to a good cause.







We’ve all been affected in some way by cancer, and I know that it sucks. You don’t need to like a status on Facebook to prove that you hate cancer, we already know you do. What I would like you to do, though, is to share things with your friends. Useful things. Like maybe tell them that adding a bit of turmeric to their food can really help in the prevention of cancer, and the fight against it. Just simple little things like that, shared around on your social media networks, will go a lot further than telling people that if they don’t “like” a picture of a child that’s battling leukemia, then they don’t care.

People do care, and you don’t have to spend money to spread the word. Do some research, find little tidbits of cancer fighting knowledge, and put that up as your status. Sure, we would love some donations to our team, but we aren’t prestige whores. We don’t want you to feel pressured into donating, but we do want to pressure you into doing something. Share our Mo Spaces with your friends, tell people about healthier choices that they can make to help prevent this disease, and most importantly, get a check-up every year. That is your best bet for catching things early on.

I’m done rambling, for today, but do try, and if you want to join our team, make sure you do it soon. Send us a photo of your cleanly shaved face as of today, and sign up on our team page posted at the top and bottom of this post.


A lady gets a lotta things, she gets a 20 carat ring,


Nov 27

Movember the 27th

This is getting downright embarrassing. I have the most pitiful moustache that I’ve seen. I guess that’s why not very many people are donating to me. I appreciate the donations I’ve gotten so far, but there could always be more. I hate begging, because I hate it when people come right out and ask me personally for money. I think it’s enough to put this up every once in a while, and jokingly plead for your money. Truth be known, I don’t really give two shits if you donate or not. I do this as an attention grab, and to raise a little awareness. I really haven’t succeeded too well at that, but I tried a bit. I guess I feel like cancer is here to stay, so we might as well get used to it. I would like you all to go and get checked out though; not just men, but women too. You are precious, and I want to see you live cancer free. If that’s not possible, I’d at least like you to find it as early as you can. It gives you such an increased chance of survival, when it’s caught early on. Anyhow, here’s the shitty moustache pic for today. I love you all.

Don't let me near children for a couple more days.


So come on, come on, come on, come on and take it, take another little piece of my heart now baby,


Nov 24

Movember the 24th, the weekly shave day

Well, I broke down and shaved today. I’m not happy to be showcasing my lip strip, but there you go. I hope Kimmy K is happy with my freakishly perverted looking mo. I know my lady is happy… happy she doesn’t have to look directly at it. Anyway, I know that no one needs the link, but I feel I have to keep asking for your money. I guess it’s the whole fundraiser thing that makes me feel that way, so here’s the damn link

Chris Bird’s MoSpace page. Where he urges you to give

a measly donation to help out the cancer people.

This is the before you donate face


I’m not saying that you have to donate any of your ducats, but if you don’t, I’m going to start sending your name to mailing lists.


This is the after donation face. Notice the "I might try anything" look in my eyes?


Anyhow, I shall get off of here. It looks like the Chinny Chin Chin has a post for tomorrow, so I shall go and make sure there is isn’t a Primordial Dwarf sex scene in it.

Take a load off Annie, take a load for free,