Mar 25

The Grossest Idea I’ve Ever Had (On Here Anyhow)

 

You should seriously turn away here if you don’t enjoy funny stories about a man’s intimacies with farm animals, or if reading isn’t your strong suit, because there are no photos. Oh, okay, I’ll put photos in too, what the hell. Anyhow, this is Gadget’s prize for cheating and becoming the 50th subscriber. It will be a masterpiece as soon as I research some romance novel sex scenes and the physical possibilities of pigs and humans having relations with each other.

The Dark Night in the Barn

“Why did I decide this would be a good day to try selling vacuums to farmer’s wives?” Gadget asked himself as he limped his shiny Ford van down the gravel road. “And why didn’t I put the spare back, after we took it out to smuggle booze into the drive-in?”

He was angry with himself. He was an idiot.

As he crested the knoll, he saw a lone farm in the distance.

‘They would have a plug kit or something there, I’m sure.’  He thought

As he pulled into the drive, he saw a man in the yard, and he was talking to a beautiful young lady in tight beige riding pants, and an equally tight long sleeved t-shirt.

He stopped to stare. He didn’t even notice the farmer watching him as he started to rub his modest erection, while drool dripped onto his shirt. He had never seen such a perfect, tight body on a human. He wanted to have her. Had to have her.

By then the farmer had walked up to the window and asked, “What the fuck is wrong with you, son? That’s my daughter, and she’s only eighteen years old.”

Gadget shook his head and cleared the fog. Had her father seen him rubbing his crotch? He sure hoped he hadn’t.

“I uh, don’t, ummm, she’s so beautiful. I’m sorry, it’s just that I’ve been married for most of my life, and well…”

“Son, you don’t have to tell me. Her Mama is inside, and when you meet her, you’ll see why I go and park across from the high school every Thursday at lunch time. The thing is, that that’s my daughter, and it’s different when it’s the fruit of your loins.”

Gadget understood. He wanted to “high five” the old guy, but that seemed like the wrong thing to do, so he just mentioned that he needed to get his tire fixed and that he wouldn’t mind using the facilities. Continue reading