Therapy Thursday

by: therealbirdman - November 22nd, 2012   Filed under: Advice, Birdman, Life 3 Comments
Dear TT
I left my ex husband two years after being together for 10 years, and married for 5. There are lots of reasons as to why things fell apart. We both worked a lot, never spent any time together as a couple, it was always about the kids. I didn’t work near as much as he did, so it was every day that i would be the one to grab the kids, come home, cook dinner, do laundry, and yada yada whatever else needed to be done. I wouldn’t have changed anything for the world, but it was the lack of gratitude on his end that left me very self-conscious, depressed and discouraged. Not to mention exhausted, and in need of “companionship.” I understand there are two sides to every story, but after 2 years of living in a sexless marriage, I had enough. I needed out, so I left. Read More

Therapy Thursday

by: therealbirdman - November 8th, 2012   Filed under: Advice, Birdman, Humor, Smarty Pantaloons 10 Comments

Dear Therapy Thursday,

Recently a friend of mine posted a questionable sign/photo/thing on her facebook wall. Some of her family went crazy on her for posting it. They were basically calling her a bad mother and telling her how to raise her kids. I didn’t really think to much of it at the time but when I saw all those people complaining about her daughters and other young people seeing it I wondered if maybe I was a bad mom for not thinking about that. Heres a copy of it.

What I want to know is does this picture pose a threat to my 11 and 14 year old daughters? What about my 9 year old son? I just thought they were being really hard on her for what this is, but I might be wrong.

Confused In Cobourg Read More

Therapy Thursday

by: therealbirdman - October 18th, 2012   Filed under: Advice, Birdman, Humor, Smarty Pantaloons 7 Comments

Before we get to today’s problem, I just want to say that I was taken aback the other day when I clicked onto one of my favourite blogs and saw my name there. If you look directly above this, you will see a makeshift drawing in rudimentary colours. Bryan did that up for me when they were doing their Kickstarter for their newest book: Dead and Moaning in Las Vegas. I’m sure most of the regulars here have checked them out, but for any of you that haven’t, you should go and do that right now. Don’t worry, Smarty will be here when you get back. He might not have as many brain cells, but luckily he doesn’t need them to be an asshole.

It was really a surprise and an honour to be mentioned on their hallowed walls, and I hope that some day I can repay the favour to them. It’ll probably be bailing them out of a TJ jail after a donkey show gone bad, but whatever it is, I hope I can put a smile on their faces like they put on mine.

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Dear Birdman,

I’ve been sort of dating this guy for a few years now, but I have always been suspicious that he’s sleeping around on me. We rarely go out in public, he’s always playing jai alai with his buddies, or going out drinking and golfing. I see him once a week if I’m lucky, but it’s always at his place or mine.

My friends all think I’m nuts, but I can see that he’s opening up a little to me each year. He’s been caught on a few occasions lying, or not showing up when he is supposed to. When I confront him about it, he always has an excuse for why he lied or didn’t make it. I guess it’s my fault for wanting more out of the relationship than a quick lay almost every week, when I know he has trust issues. Once I thought I caught him fucking around, and he turned it around on me, saying that I was suspicious because I probably am having an affair. I’m not! I wouldn’t do that.

Anyhow, I want to know what you think I should do. Should I wait it out and see if he comes around? He says that I’m important to him and he’s really fond of me. That’s good, for him to be fond of me. Right? I think he needs a little space to hang out and see if he’s ready to commit to a few days a week. We have really good sex, and I’d hate to lose that.

Confused in Connecticut

Read More

Therapy Thursday

by: therealbirdman - October 11th, 2012   Filed under: Advice, Humor, Mrs. Birdman, Smarty Pantaloons, Wedding 8 Comments
Dear Birdman and the Missus,
One of my buddies recently proposed to his girlfriend.  They have been dating for just under 2 years, and I was actually the one to introduce the two of them (I had a girlfriend at the time, saw her, and basically threw the two of them together).  But after they started dating, I realized that I strongly disliked her for her immature demeanor and manipulative ways.  My buddy moved in with her, and I never really expressed my dislike for her, as it didn’t really seem my place.  He asked me to be his best man, and it is at this point that I feel a strong impulse to say something to him.  Because if I was really his best man, shouldn’t I have said something two years ago?  And if I let him go through with it, what the hell am I supposed to say for my speech?
Sincerely,
Worst Best Man

Dear Worst,

You seem like a very nice guy, so I am going to give you the benefit of my own mistakes.  You have to look at this from your buddy’s point of view.  He’s found a woman who he loves, and who lets him have sex with her on an at least semi-regular schedule.  This is choice, and if it is to be the mother of all mistakes, he’ll figure that out soon enough.  Unfortunately for you, you are going to have to sit this one out in the sidelines until it all goes down eventually.  You can take your friend aside and finally come clean that you think his lady is manipulative and immature, but you aren’t going to get a friendly pat on the back for it.  In fact, you may very well alienate him and cause him to feel like he has to choose between your friendship and his fiancé.  I don’t think I have to tell you which way he’s likely to go on that choice. Read More

Therapy Thursday

by: therealbirdman - October 4th, 2012   Filed under: Advice, Birdman, Humor 11 Comments


Dear TT,

Blogging is hard. I am funny, quick and super attractive – which doesn’t convey well on the magical intraweb since no one believes pictures anymore – but it is slow goings on my site, www.inebrieated.com. I talk about dating and divorce, my fake boobs, kids, work, silicone, my ex husband, boobs, my ex boyfriends, the struggles of a single parent, HAVE I MENTIONED THE BOOBS? I get occasional comments mostly from my mom or the great aunt confined to a nursing home, who we have believing my ex husband died (side note: why WON’T he die?). I read forums and writings sites and find blogs like your’s – blogs that speak to me, that I connect with and immediately feel a bond…and then I wonder ‘how the fuck do these chair humpers get an audience while I languish in the background in all of my fake breasted glory?’ 

Sorry, but chair humpers made me laugh so I had to look it up.

These are the two craziest, non-nude pics that I could illegally swipe from the flickr

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Honestly, I do wish you luck with your writing endeavors, but what the fuck?

Sincerely,

Gloriously Breasted Blogger Read More