Are You Stupid Or Just Out Of Touch? (A rant, chock full o’ swear words)


I really want to know. There is all kinds of room in the comments section to tell me WHY THE FUCK YOU KEEP CLICKING ON THE FREE FUCKING COSTCO GIFT CARDS.

REALLY? SWEET! Thanks, Costco!!!

It looks good, right? $500 free dollars. FREE $$$!!! WOO HOO!!! I’m getting me a new stereo. God bless Costco.

STOP! You are being an IDIOT.

So tell me, and all of the others, why you think that Costco, or any of the other retailers whose names are involved in these scams, would just give away more money than they have ever made to random people on Facebook?

I sure do have one near me. Thanks, Costco!!!

Let’s say that for whatever reason, a huge company like theirs that is intent on nothing more than the bottom line for their shareholders, just ups and decides that they should distribute their wealth to the people. Do you really think they would just give it to random people on a social networking site? Wouldn’t it be more likely that they would reward their staff and customers first? Don’t you think that we would have heard about it?

Costco is a great company as far as major corporations go. They actually seem to like their staff, and want to keep them as happy as possible. I’m not saying they are perfect, but as far as retailers go, they are a damn sight better than the rest of those greedy cunts (cough, Walmart, cough). As good as a company as they are, they are not going to just start making you install malware-filled toolbars and then give you half a grand for your troubles. It’s just not going to happen. Sorry.

 

Holy shit, I can buy all that for $500? Thanks, Costco!!!

You get that, right? You are picking up what I’m throwing down? Because if you are, then there is no fucking reason for you to ever click on another free gift card on any social media site. EVER.

I really mean that. You should never click on them. Do you want to know why? Because they are fucking scams, that’s why.

“Hey Birdman, what the fuck do you care if I want to be a moron and get all of my data mined by some phishing scam on Facebook?”

Listen, I don’t give a shit if you get syphilis, gonorrhea, and chlamydia from a lot lizard in the fucking Dixie/Shawson Husky, as long as you don’t give it to my wife or I. The problem with these things is that they often reach out and rub their infected penis on a bunch of your friends. If some of them click it, then it gets on their friends too. Do you see the pattern here? Sooner or later it ends up on my wall and I don’t want my friends thinking I’m the asshole who is spreading the drip around.

Do you know what I do when I’m unsure of something that I want to click on?

I LOOK IT UP!!!

Cheap fridges, DSLR cameras, and sets of tires? Thanks, Costco!!!

It’s not hard. I know you have access to the internet.* You are on it as we speak, in one form or another. Just fucking stop and think. Ask yourself a few questions. Does the thing you are about to click on look legit? Does it seem plausible? Are you willing to risk identity theft, or worse, on whatever it is? If you answered yes to all of these questions, then click away. If you answered no to any of them, then you need to walk away. Delete that shit, and then demean your friend, just like I’m doing to you. Seriously. They deserve it.

*(Well, unless your mom printed this off and brought it to your off the grid cabin in the bush. In that case, tell her to go back and print you off the orgasm one, it’s way better.)

Yes, this is the real Costco

I understand that people make mistakes, but you can’t call apathy a mistake. I don’t even know how many have said, “Yeah, it looked like a scam, but I’m not taking any chances of missing out on $500.”

Really? You are fucked in the head. That would be like me getting back into fucking Amway or any other MLM scheme. Yeah, I know it’s a scam, but they say I can be making $6000 a month in a year or so. How can I pass that up? I know I shouldn’t, but oh You never know, right?

WRONG

See, this guy at least asked some questions. Thanks, dude.

Sell your computer and start reading books, because you are a dolt and a dullard. You need to have more physical beatings on a daily schedule to smarten you the fuck up.

You now know the skinny. Go out and tell your friends. Give them the link to this post. I don’t mind sharing. Hell, I’ll go as far as to say I enjoy sharing. if those cockwads don’t listen to you, then delete their idiotic asses. Seriously. They can converge on an island for the mentally weak, while you just keep on “liking” shit on the internet. I know that when I get hit again, I’ll be deleting everyone and just sticking with Change The Topic’s Facebook Page and my Google+ profile.

I suggest you go and “like” the shit out of these. They’re way more fun than regular Facebook, with only half the calories.

Well I fooled you, I fooled you I got pig iron I got pig iron I got all pig iron,

Birdman

PeeNess:

Our good friend, Jay Sharp is having a birthday today. Make sure you go to The Breeze’s Facebook Page and wish him a happy birthday from Change The Topic. He may even let you listen to his joke of the day.

Happy birthday, Buddy. We need to get boozy soon.

Birdman

Google+ Comments

13 thoughts on “Are You Stupid Or Just Out Of Touch? (A rant, chock full o’ swear words)

  1. My oldest son has clicked those links a dozen times. I complain and fuss telling him NOTHING is for free. That is why you have to participate in OTHER links before you get that one that you will never receive. But they got your money already for the other stuff. Those ads make me angry as hell. I can post much better stuff, including adult links, I don’t need your Miley Cyrus leaked sex tape spam on my wall.

  2. Wow! I’m honoured to get a mention on Change the Topic. Thank you Birdie! This totally made my birthday a happy one. Can’t wait to get boozy with you, brother!

  3. THANK YOU for writing this. Eff sakes. Every time I see someone else has fallen for it (how exactly I don’t know) it gives me an eye twitch.
    STOP IT! STOOOOP IT!

  4. I just delete that shit from my news feed. Even if they are legit. Then I block it from ever showing up on my wall again. It is the same with the games people play on FB. “Look at the high score I got! ” kinda shit. I really don’t give a fuck. Delete. Block. Same with game requests. I don’t send them, I don’t accept them. Delete. Block.

    And pictures of abused kids and/or animals. I hate that shit! STOP IT ALREADY! I have warned people that I will delete them if they post that shit on my wall. And a few have gone by the wayside.

    Grab a brain people!!

    Thank you Birdman. For letting me rant.

    Oh and Happy Birthday Jay!

    • The viruses are different, because some of them send themselves to you, or tag you in it. Then they make it difficult or impossible to untag. Yeah, I hate all of that other shit too. I like G+, because you have a choice to send to different circles. Then you keep all of your game friends in that circle. Never bother anyone.

  5. Ok, so I am totally confused. I got my mail the other day and in it was a $500 Costco cash card….WHAT?? Where did that come from? Anyways my husband and I were both pretty sure we had not made a purchase that would have resulted in a reward like that. Don’t get me wrong we shop there often(gotta have diapers/wipes/food)for our family. So I decided to call the number to see what would happen. Sure enough it asked for the pin# which was on the card and then it told me the value of $500. I couldn’t believe it. Where did this come from????? I have even gone to Costco and made a $10 purchase just to see if it worked…and it did. I am at a total loss. I know about the vehicle purchase where you get a $500 cash card, we did get a new car a few months ago but it is not included in the list of ones that get the reward…..any thoughts??? suggestions???

    • I have never heard of that before. Was it mailed from Costco? I am thinking that your car was on the list, but maybe they just added it after the list was printed or something. As long as it was addressed to you, and it works, then there is no reason you can’t spend it. Right?

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